Tag Archives: using a cane or walker

The Garden of Roses

They say that walking is the best exercise, and for myself, I agree one-hundred percent. This weekend was too nice to stay indoors, so my parents and I ventured to a new state park on Saturday for some walking of trails. The first trail seemed very nice; when I think of parks, this is what I always have in mind: paved trails, trees that provide shade and the occasional bridge walkways where thick underbrush or tricking streams are underneath your feet. This one had it all and the destination of the first trail was a waterfall. No sign mentioned sand (like a beach.) We near towards the area where the falls is located and I mention that the area looked much like Mesa Verde, minus the ancient cliff-dwelling houses. Then I get my walker stuck in the sand.

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There was a set of stairs (far off behind the rock in the picture) and realizing walking in the sand is worse than grass, I told Mom and Dad that I would take a rest while they saw the falls. It was an enjoyable sit…and I was able to walk part of another trail that night too.

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I probably should have taken a nap on Sunday, even though I did “rest” by simply sitting and reading, but I am not sure if that would have fully helped yesterday anyway. Scheduled for a fun day at Melissa’s, we started with a delicious brunch: gluten-free waffles, fruit, bacon and David made scrambled eggs with green peppers and onions (yum.) Eating and chatting outside on the back patio–and not drinking as much as I should have–I think my dehydration may have started then.

Columbus is filled with many pretty parks. We chose Whetstone Park, because they have a Park of Roses in the midst of it all. Maybe we were trying to make a loop, but we seemed to start randomly just by parking and cutting across the grass to the paved trail. Grass entirely wears me out, so by the time we get to the cement, my legs are already saying that they’ve had enough. Basho was with us and seeing him thoroughly enjoying himself–running everywhere, barking at the bigger dogs, never begging to be picked up or have a ride in my walker–gave me humor and something to enjoy besides thoughts of my slow walking.

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Once we reached the entrance to the Park of Roses, I was in my slowest state of walking. In every step, my mind kept saying that it didn’t want to take another, but then my feet would…like an automatic response to the word walk. We passed by the herb garden and I saw the perennials from a distance. I had greater expectations for this section, especially the roses; we were a few weeks early for full-bloom, but there were a few rose bushes in bloom and you could see the start of the rose section blooming as well.

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I didn’t venture far off the path, but as I am struggling to get to a bench to sit (that’s me in the left hand corner of the picture) and take a drink of over-needed water, I thought of Jesus. It just came to mind–all I saw was bloodied, dirt-stained, sandal feet moving forward one step at a time. Jesus wasn’t pushing a walker on a paved or grassy path; beaten beyond recognition, he was carrying the heavy wooden beam of his cross and walking up a hill (which I imagine was just a rocky, dirt path.)

He walked each step bearing the weight of my sin, my physical suffering. He walked each step in Love, with a promise to never leave or forsake me if I placed my trust in Him alone.

He walks with me to the end, until life forever in His presence.

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***All pictures taken by Bonnie Pinkerton***

 

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Family Times, Uncategorized

When all the scenes flow together…

Today my parents and I went to the production of War Horse at the Schuster Performing Arts Center in Dayton. It was a phenomenal performance! Unlike most plays that pause in between different sections for changes in scenes or the props, everything today flowed in motion just like turning pages in a book. Speaking of the book, I have not read it (War Horse by Michael M0rpurgo)–nor have I seen the movie that DreamWorks produced in 2011; so I was a little confused in the second half but am very thankful for the change in seating arrangements they offered when we first arrived, so I could be close to the interpreters. It was a sad, but loving story (always best when based off true events). I can now put the book on my “to read” list, but seeing the play was amazing.

This week, all the “scenes” of the days seemed to flow together. Not a bad thing, just got a tiny overwhelming when you add the normal daily life events to tumbling health factors. The week started pretty typical: who doesn’t have insane schedules these days? I had a few important things this week: my driving test was the first. The PT gave me her clearance but wishes to see me again in six months. It was not until Thursday that I got clearance from my rehabilitation doctor at Children’s. I celebrated by going to Beans-n-Cream for a chai and some reading. I felt a bit social awkward, being out by myself for the first time and having to use my cane for balance, but I still enjoyed being out and back in my favorite coffee-house!

The most important thing was my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. It was the end of month four of Sirolimus chemo treatments; the start of month five. Although there are no changes for right now as far as what I have been doing in treatments, I still discussed the physical changes that happened in my body over the WI weekend with my doctor.

On the way to WI, something in my body snapped and I got intense pressure (even more so) on my spine, which causes a list of new areas affected or the areas, such as my feet, to worsen. Simultaneously, I have had an increase of stiffness and numbness in my right arm. Over the weekend, I was hoping it was temporary…also because I was chilled all weekend, I thought maybe being back home in warmer air (which never happened, as this week our weather chilled to “winter weather”) and my own bed might release some of this new symptom. I am getting to a point where I need to stop going to bed hoping that tomorrow will bring a ray of release from it all, because it doesn’t happen that way (the way I want)–I only see it to be getting more unstable and on the downward slope.

I really was doing pretty well for the most part this week; I was not until Thursday evening that the pressure in my lower spine increased more…occasionally hitting the tailbone; Best way I can describe the feeling is like coming down on your tailbone while snowboarding. Yesterday was when it started to be obvious that it was affecting my balance more in the evening as I was taking smaller steps in precaution. I don’t want to fall. This morning, I just went ahead and used my cane; and now the walker.

To be honest, I didn’t write this post the past few days because I haven’t even had a chance to grasp it all; I can’t write on this blog (though I try my hardest) about all this in a way for you to understand. I don’t even understand, nor my parents or family that sees it direct and experiences the changes with me–just not physically. These past few days I really have just been a wreck–at least emotionally. And yet I don’t even know what emotions I am really having, because it resembles the production we saw today–all flowing together. And so right now, I am struggling. And that is about as honest as I can be…

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Family Times, Hospital Trips