Category Archives: Random

Ten o’clock news.

Good evening.

Just wanted to tell you about some exciting milestones that happened today!

I was working on pictures this morning and ended up sitting on the floor, as my albums are on the bottom of the bookshelf. If I sit on the floor, I usually place my right leg turned in and my left leg stretched out. Not today! I suddenly realized that I was sitting with both legs crossed. No funny pinching, no Charlie horse cramps in the left thigh–just me sitting with my legs crossed. 😀 I have not been able to do that in over a year! 😀 Milestone #1.

Ok, so this might not be the biggest milestone (has nothing to do with my health other than utilizing upper arm strength)…but Milestone $2: I rearranged my closet shelves!!! 😀 I just think it is great! I feel it is more organized and a better use of the limited shelving. 🙂 Just a fun check mark off my “things that don’t really need to be done, but are starting to bug me” list. Always a satisfying feeling.

And (drum roll, please)…tonight was my last Lovenox blood thinner shot!!!! 😀 Yay!!! After the blood check this morning I told my mom, “If tonight is my last one, I know exactly how to celebrate!” Any guesses?? I am going to sleep in tomorrow morning!!! Ah! Such a way to celebrate! No setting the alarm to get a morning shot. However, I have a feeling I will still be awake, because my body is now used to being up at that time–bummer, but at least I now I have the option to still stay in bed. 😉 Thus, Milestone #3: I have officially transferred from the blood thinner shots to the pills.

That, my friends, concludes a great day!

More to come…

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Birds of a Feather

I read this quote in college during the semester I was on the Tarceva oral chemo pills. Amidst chemo, my strenuous 18 credit hours and volunteer time…I found the quote so amusing and fitting to myself that I adopted it for my “quote” of the semester.

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. ~Michael Caine

It is nothing theological, philosophical or life changing; in spite of myself, I did not do a good job that semester of keeping calm on the surface…even though everything in me was paddling underneath.

I have not thought of that quote in quite sometime. It was only until Mom and I took a walk around the community park/pond that it resurfaced in my memory. We pull up to the park and see the paparazzi of ducks approaching our car. Mom mentioned we should have brought bread. I remembered that I had one packet of graham crackers left over from the hospital in my purse. Success:

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The small packet of crackers did not last long, even though I tried breaking off small pieces–so we just started to take our walk. Most followed us:

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After realizing we had no more food, they made a rondevu at our car.

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Some needed a little nudge to get out of the way… 🙂

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This little time at the park reminded me of when Jesus fed the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-21). Jesus went to a remote spot to be by himself. The crowds (like our ducks) followed him…seeking Him to meet their physical needs. Jesus did not send them away, like my nudge to the ducks, but had compassion on them. Come dinnertime–Jesus did not have graham crackers, but the disciples had two fish and five loaves of bread. His disciples questioned as to how they could feed these people with only this small amount of food? It was a step of faith to believe that Jesus could feed all. And He did–with abundant left overs! The people did not long for more like the ducks at the park. They left satisfied.

So often I come to God like a duck. I can pretend on the outside to have everything calm and under control. But I do not. My inner being tries to control everything from having a productive schedule to keeping my medicines list straight. It starts to consume me on the inside even if I am calm on the outside. But God sees me as I am: a duck ready for graham crackers–hoping for more than just a life running off a time schedule.

I write this now, because I know it will happen. It is my transition stage–going from high activity and bustle of health related issues to entering the days of “normality.” When this happens, I see my high dependency in Christ diminish. I start taking things back in my own hands; in busyness, I forget to take time to sit and rest; and I easily question the simple tests of faith like the disciples.

It is dinnertime and I don’t want to leave the mountain yet; I still have so much yet to learn.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:28-30

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Blessings from bruises.

Because I am on blood thinners, my bruises seem to be taking their precious time in healing. Right now, I have a lot of combination of colors…most are still dark purple or blue on my stomach. When I looked in the mirror this morning after my shot, I remarked out loud to myself, “That looks like a seahorse.” Yep, a seahorse…like finding shapes in the clouds. 🙂 On the right side of my stomach, a little heart was formed when two bruises came together. It was then I started thinking of my bruises–the ones on my stomach that go unnoticed to the massive bruise on my right arm where the IV was placed on the outer part of my palm. It extends a good two inches of brownish-red to below my outer wrist. Very obvious and not very pretty, unless I am wearing a sweater or beads.

But I figure, bruises are temporal. They should (I hope) start to turn their greenish-yellow healing colors in the next few weeks before slowly fading back to my pale skin color–then just disappear altogether. I know you may think this is strange, but if anyone else is an organized, planner-ahead person…well, then I just really can’t explain why I thrive on this sort of activity–but, yes, I already have my Valentine cards/gifts set out to write and get ready to mail in the next week or so. Crazy, I know. I think it came about strong this year, due to the paintings I have been putting together for the coffee shop. Or maybe reading some verses in I John, or the sermon last week at church, or watching a few chic flicks on the recovery days. Not sure. As I was finishing up my paintings yesterday for Beans-n-Cream, I could not help but do one more 8×10 painting as thoughts of love, red, purples, bruises and blessings came to mind.

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Somehow all these thoughts made me stop and think of the real Love that has been shown. Mercy and grace were given by blood and bruises: Jesus, dying for the sins of the world that we might know God and know His Love.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5, NKJV

It is not even February yet, but it makes Valentine’s Day so much more anticipated…and I think that is why I anticipate it–because it is like Easter (i.e. Saying “He Lives” more than once a year!); the holiday means so much more when you think of it every day. How can I love my family, neighbors, strangers in the way that God has shown His Love to me? It has been in my thoughts and prayers as I want to show that kind of Love…and bless others who have so richly blessed me. Fail on days I will (human nature), but God’s Love remains. And that is what matters. ❤

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Cd Rotations.

After talking with a friend this morning about our favorite oldies albums, I got to thinking how–as of late–there have been a few cd’s that have been rotating in and out of my cd player. I can’t really tell you why these three specific cd’s, seeing as they have nothing in common such as music style, but I have been enjoying their songs (and lyrics I know).

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe. ~Lao Tzu

Here are the cd’s:

1. Cindy Morgan, Listen. I initially got the cd out a few weeks ago to listen to a specific song titled, “The Master’s Hand.” I ended up listening to the whole cd, reading the lyrics and just taking in the message that God is love and I am in need of Him. A few other favorite songs are “Need”, “The Promise” and my favorite jazz style song, “The Say It’s Love (‘Stars’)”. If I ever still desired to create a song to sing at say a Saturday night coffee shop, it would have to be something like that one. 🙂

2. David Crowder*Band, Illuminate. In all honesty, I did not like the band when it first came out in the early 2000’s. Now that their band days are ending and they move on to different areas of ministry, I am very sad. They became one of my favorite bands. Their worship was never defined. They reminded me a lot of the UK worship band of the 1990’s called Delirious? (The question mark is part of the band name. 🙂 ) A few of my favorite songs on this cd are “No One like You”, “Only You” and “Deliver Me.” Mom also has David Crowder’s book called, Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi. She just finished it, so now I want to read it. Whether it is this cd or book, or any others by David Crowder*Band, I am sure you will enjoy every minute of it!

3. My Utmost of His Highest: The Covenant. This cd is by a set of various artists who brought songs to reflect on Oswald Chamber’s book, My Utmost for His Highest. It is something I listen to when I am reflecting or just want something relaxing to fall asleep to at night. It starts off with my favorite song recorded by Be Be Winans called, “All of Me.” The songs seem to flow after that with meaningful lyrics and the cd cover gives quotes to the songs with some of Oswald Chamber’s writings. A few other favorite songs are “Psalm 121”, “Through All the Years” and one by Michael W. Smith titled, “Someday (Set the Children Free).” That song always gets tears to my eyes. It is a very encouraging cd and would be a great gift for someone you know that is in need of encouragement. Just add Oswald’s book with it and the set is complete. 🙂

Maybe you have heard these cd’s before…maybe not. Music still is such a big part of my life, even as frustrating as it is most times where I cannot pick out words or the beat. But it is music. Do you have any albums that you find yourself returning to?

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Happy 2013!

It came and went with just a stroke of midnight. The old year gone and now the new year has begun! 🙂

Yesterday I kept thinking to myself, “What am I going to do today that is different?” Last day of the year, might as well do something. So I did, but it just turned out to be a pretty normal day. I helped my mom vacuum/dust and did the dishes. Put away some Christmas lights. Caught up on a few emails. Enjoyed the evening with my aunt/uncle. And watched the birds play in the snow outside.

Cute little creatures! Mom had placed slices of oranges covered with peanut butter, sprinkled with seeds or something on the top. There they were–fresh snow falling in all around them and they just were having the time of lives eating and flying around. Others were seated near each other in the big bush right outside my window. For being so small, they sure can ruffle their feathers to make them appear two sizes bigger.

The bush is not in its time of glory. I would say that comes in the summer. It shoots up (after pruning) to such a height, sometimes it is hard to see out my window. The green leaves are a shade–even Muffy finds a cool haven from the heat. And the butterflies just can never have enough fill of the purple blossoms. It was the inspiration for this painting I did for the art show (which now hangs in my room 🙂 ):

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On a day like yesterday I realized that this bush, more full of icicles than leaves, was a safe haven to the birds. They did not mind that it was pretty much dead from the winter months. At that moment it was what they needed. I sat there thinking. It reminded me of one of my favorite passages in Matthew, where Jesus talks about not worrying.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ~Matthew 6:25-27, ESV.

My mind wonders at times. Not really “worrying” per say but I like to plan ahead. When my plans don’t go in the way I think they should, it usually turns into worry or frustration. Take last week for example. Not what my plans had in mind, but in the end it was for the better.

I never make New Year’s Resolutions…mostly in part by the end of the month I can’t keep them. So instead of a resolution, I decided to use this year and focus on what these verses say, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (vs. 33-34.)

I know I will not remember this everyday. But I am hoping God sends me reminders, even if it just means taking more time to watch the birds from my bedroom window. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. But empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

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I look forward to continuing the journey. More to come…

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Christmas all year long.

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Yesterday’s Christmas Eve service was the same as Sunday. Off I went Sunday with my family to their church so I braced myself for a service without interpreters, which I knew. The pastor usually leaves his sermon notes copied off on the table in the foyer, but there were none left when we arrived. I just watched the praise team from the balcony where we sat and read the words to the songs, occasionally hearing the beat of the next stanza so I could try to sing along. The sermon started and I just followed the three main bullet points of the sermon about the particular Advent candle. I had my Bible so I read some passages and found amusement from the boy sitting in front of me trying to figure out where the exact middle of the Bible was–he ended up in the middle of the Psalms. No surprise, I told myself…seems like I had done that myself when I was his age. We took communion and then the praise band did an acoustic version of “O Little Town of Bethlehem.” They sang all the verses–and even though I could hear all the words, I just sat there and listened for most of it. Just letting the words sink in. “O come to us, abide with us, our Lord Emmanuel.”

Last night was different though the same church, same pastor, same seats. Except this time my attitude was different. In the car, I kept thinking to myself–this is ridiculous! I could just stay at home and read my Bible and sing a few hymns to myself. I felt more like a hypocrite really–wearing my favorite skinny jeans, cute sparkly top and sparkly shoes. Like dressing up for nothing…was what my thoughts were. The songs had no words on the power point; there were no bullet points to the message; and worst of all, I forgot my Bible so I couldn’t even read any passages. I just sat there. My right hearing aid was not right and so I had to take it out; my shoes were bugging me (and my sister told me they were making noise as I was trying to take them off); and I just really wanted to leave. We did not even have candles to hold when they started the song and proceeded with the congregation lighting each others’ candles. The people in front of us turned and realized we had no candles. They offered theirs. Another woman did the same. When all the candles were lit, we sang Silent Night.

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In the candle glow, I realized that this is what Christmas should be like–sharing our candles with others so they too have light in their time of need. It brings hope and love and peace. The Light of Christmas isn’t meant to burn out the 26th of December. The message lasts all year.

From my house to yours: Merry Christmas!

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Candy Cane Cookies

Here is the promised recipe for the cookies that I made for Monday’s Christmas cookie exchange party. For the best results of flavor: make the dough the night before and set in the refrigerator overnight. It leaves the cookies tasting more peppermint!! 😀

  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup butter or margarine, softened
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp peppermint extract
  • 1 egg
  • 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp red food color (This makes pink. I used a 1/2 bottle food color and got RED) 🙂
  • Topping:
  • 2 Tbs finely crushed hard peppermint candies
  •  2 Tbs sugar

1. Beat 1 cup sugar and butter until mixed. Add milk, vanilla, peppermint extract and egg to sugar/butter mixture. Mix on medium speed or with spoon. Stir in flour, baking powder and salt. Divide dough in half. Stir food coloring into one half of the dough. Cover and refrigerate at least four hours.

2. Heat oven to 375 degrees. For each candy cane, shape 1 rounded teaspoon dough from each half into 4-inch rope by rolling back and forth on floured surface. (I used parchment paper instead). Place 1 red and 1 white rope side by side; press together lightly and twist. Place on ungreased cookie sheet (use parchment paper if posible…helps hold them together when you take them off the pan after baked.) Curve the top of the cookie down to form “handle” of cane.

3. Bake 9-12 minutes or until set and very light brown. Mixed crushed candies and 2 Tbs sugar; immediately sprinkle over baked cookies. Immediately removed from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely (but eat them warm, LOL). 🙂

Enjoy!

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God Knows.

One of my favorite singers is Nancy Honeytree. I don’t remember this too well, but the story goes that my parents went to one of her concerts back when I was about 2 years old or so. They put me in the nursery and set out to enjoy the concert. I am not sure if they were told or if it was a mother’s instinct, but when they came back to check on me I had been SCREAMING my head off. They decided to give me a try at the concert and as soon as Honeytree restarted her set, I sat silent enjoying the music. 🙂 It didn’t stop there…I sang her songs in church when I was in kindergarten; I listened to her cassette tapes when I was in elementary school; and my parents gave me her “Every Single Day/Best of Honeytree Classics” CD in high school for my birthday. I must say that it is one of my all-time favorite cd’s, ever!

Honeytree has a song titled, “Diamond in the Rough.” Up until last week, the song has not really come into my head that often and I am not sure why it did come, but I think that was God’s timing. I had just ended three and a half years of work with a company and feeling at loss for what comes next. I take pride in my work and want to do my share for a living, but I never thought that I would just be without a job. It was my choice to leave and it was a hard decision to make…but when the door closes in one area, God can open another. I just have to trust God with that promise.

Don’t give up, no matter what you do…

Your God isn’t through with you;

Someday you will be a polished living stone

Though now you are a diamond in the rough.

I am learning that life is work…whether you get paid for it or whether you volunteer, or how you spend your time otherwise. Friend and family relationships take work. Maintaining a healthy diet and exercise takes work. Learning new things takes work. Loving, forgiving, serving–takes work. My relationship with God takes work. I think I get so caught up in thinking that “work” is only associated with making money that I got upset at the thought of not making anymore. I felt like a quitter…a lazy person…weak (more in the pride), vulnerable and unsure of my abilities.

Don’t give in, not even if you sin;

Just cast all your cares on Him.

Someday you will be a polished living stone

Though now you are a diamond in the rough.

One week out of work and I have been on a roller coaster of trying to manage my time and energy on getting things done counter with relaxing and enjoying my time. I started a few new books and a devotional and felt pretty sure of myself by the weekend. I traveled with my parents to see my Grandparents/aunt and uncle. I got to chat with my aunt during a short drive to and from places. I just sort of rambled about health and being out of work and then honestly said how I was feeling stuck in a few areas of my life, mostly because my relationship with God is distant. I said, “I don’t really know where this is going.” And she said, “God knows.”

Love your neighbor as you love yourself,

But you must learn to love yourself.

Esteem your brother higher, higher than yourself

But you must first esteem yourself.

I must also work on seeing past my limitations. God sees possibilities. Most of my reasons for leaving work were due to physical limitations. It is hard to see what I can do in sight of another job. It reminds me of when Jesus called his disciples, specifically Peter and Andrew (Matthew 4:18-20). They were fisherman…not scribes, not priests, not anyone of significance and yet God saw possibilities for His kingdom though their lives. They were not perfect and had lots to learn, but God used them. That is the beauty of being a diamond in the rough.

There are times when I am tempted-

To turn off this rugged road I travel on.

There are times when I say, ‘Jesus, can’t you find another girl to sing your song?’

Well, I know that I’m not the only one

Who can sing this melody.

But He’s chosen me to bless me

And to bring me into what is best for me.*

References:

Honeytree. “Diamond in the Rough.” Melodies in Me. Myrrh Records, 1978.

*Honeytree. “Live for Jesus.” Maranatha Marathon. Myrrh Records, 1979.

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Everything Pumpkin.

At work I see new and interesting things. Yesterday, I saw a few new things containing the pumpkin flavor: Yoplait’s Light yogurt flavored pumpkin pie and Pop Tarts flavored pumpkin pie. I like the pumpkin flavor!!! This morning I had a Crimson Cup Coffee flavored Pumpkin with Carmel Pecan at Beans and Cream. It was so sweet. Might be just one of those I have once, because I could hardly finish it. Of course, there is always a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. 🙂 Both amazing, but sweet!

Pumpkin. The word is a typical connotation for carving creepy faces at Halloween or yummy pie at Thanksgiving. In my thinking, I asked my mom a question: Why do we only eat pumpkin in the Fall? There are frozen pumpkin pies all year round in the freezer section, yet I see no one buying them. Interesting. I know that, obviously, they grow in gardens during the summer–thus being available fresh produce in the fall season–but there are endless amounts of canned pumpkins in the grocery store, yet we don’t buy any. Isn’t that a strange habit. I would venture to say it is cultural…like it follows holidays and tradition more than just buying it on an everyday basis. Except, I could rule out dogs. People buy cans of pumpkin for their dogs, because it is supposed to be good for their digestive system (but please talk to your veterinarian before you load your dog with good fiber. 🙂 )

Do you like pumpkins? I decided to write down all my favorite things associated with pumpkins: Pumpkin pies, frozen pumpkin pie (scrumptious!!!); “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” [you can watch clippings on YouTube or you can easily find it in stores at this time of year]; fall decorations with pumpkins. I think I might attempt to paint something fall-ish with a big pumpkin somewhere in the midst of it. I would rather paint something creative with fall colors than carve. Last time I carved a pumpkin, my sister and I had to rotate shifts. Carving is not so easy on big pumpkins. But it was fun and it turned out well, not to mention, the seeds are quite the treat!!! 😀 Note the lack of top teeth was my carving abilities. 🙂

I also love walking through pumpkin patches! Each pumpkin is so unique!! In college, there was always a little patch on the corner of the block where campus ended. It started around this time of year and lasted a few weeks. It was used to profit the food banks with the donations received. It was also in college that my freshman dorm carved pumpkins and set them outside for display. One of my friends carved the state of Texas, since she was from there. I go to class and come back to find an upside down ice cream cone melting inside the heart of Texas. 🙂 I have no doubt it was a joke from our brother dorm. It seemed to be an ongoing thing the whole year. I must say my freshman year was a good one! 🙂

There is a dairy farm the next town over who launches an annual event: Pumpkin Chunkin. Pretty hilarious!!

If you want more information regarding that event, click here: http://youngsdairy.com/pumpkin-chunkin/. Of course I think Cinderella’s fairy godmother had more in mind than the above picture for a stagecoach. A pumpkin was the first thing she suggested to complete her magic in preparation for the ball. Talk about a sweet ride! 😉

Speaking of sweet: there is pumpkin flavored candles (that smell sweet), pumpkin shaped candy corn, and pumpkin bread. Pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin. There is so much to like about it. What is your favorite thing about pumpkins?

P.S. Check out this blog all devoted to pumpkins. You will find great recipies, food products and unique things. http://www.scottsevener.com/pumpkin/

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1st and 10.

I must say this football season is unlike any other I have seen yet. Let’s just say WOW, and if you don’t follow the train of thought…no need. You might be saving yourself from Sunday afternoons full of yelling at the television screen. Football brings out the Dark Side of the Force in me; so yesterday I just shut the TV off and went upstairs to hang out with my family as they were all sitting in the living room reading and being studious! 😀 Of course, I had to give them a five-minute “touchdown” of my frustrations–which ended up giving me a few laughs. Today, I am sure the sports channels like ESPN were an endless discussion of stats, reruns of plays, analogies and the controversies…but tonight I want to take you back to a time where none of that mattered. The pros have to start somewhere: that is right. High School! (Technically junior high, but in this case, I start at high school!)

The town I grew up in was small, but second largest in the area. Truly amazing to say that I knew everyone in my high school. None of my roommates in college related to that aspect. Small towns meant that most of the shops in town were closed by 5pm for the day, so there was no problem getting the town together for a 7pm football game! The band was there, junior class selling concessions for their spring prom, rival team fans sat on the bleachers across the field. Finding friends to sit next to was not a hard issue; Most often you could share a blanket in the stands and “huddle” together to keep warm. (HAHA. The puns are getting to me!!) The home crowds stands and cheers as the team runs out of the locker room, which was from the gym that faced the field. Usually a student or the band played the National Anthem and then the announcers start their introductions. At the time, football games could just not get any better!

However, even high schools have their own set of controversies. Coming into my freshman year, being a newbies on the cross-country team meant that my sister and I did not realize the drifts between the football team and the cross-country team. Playful teasing went as followed: some football player pokes fun at our team running outfits, some cross-country runner pokes fun at their helmets (and the fact that on game days they “run”–aka jog–five minutes on main street with their helmets on…never understood that one); football players return the joke with our “team structure”, in return our team pokes fun at the way they say running 10 yards is hard. On and on…just little things that I had never thought about before that would seem to another team so weird.

Well, pride kicked in and I was ready to defend cross-country for all it’s worth. So that Labor Day, my sister and I made our own football outfits and went to the school to take some pictures. My mom did the photos. What ended up being “the ultimate comeback” turned out to be so hilarious, we just about died laughing on the field. A good high school memory for sure!!! Our team thought it was great too. I am not sure the football players even ever saw the pictures! 🙂

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