God Knows.

One of my favorite singers is Nancy Honeytree. I don’t remember this too well, but the story goes that my parents went to one of her concerts back when I was about 2 years old or so. They put me in the nursery and set out to enjoy the concert. I am not sure if they were told or if it was a mother’s instinct, but when they came back to check on me I had been SCREAMING my head off. They decided to give me a try at the concert and as soon as Honeytree restarted her set, I sat silent enjoying the music. 🙂 It didn’t stop there…I sang her songs in church when I was in kindergarten; I listened to her cassette tapes when I was in elementary school; and my parents gave me her “Every Single Day/Best of Honeytree Classics” CD in high school for my birthday. I must say that it is one of my all-time favorite cd’s, ever!

Honeytree has a song titled, “Diamond in the Rough.” Up until last week, the song has not really come into my head that often and I am not sure why it did come, but I think that was God’s timing. I had just ended three and a half years of work with a company and feeling at loss for what comes next. I take pride in my work and want to do my share for a living, but I never thought that I would just be without a job. It was my choice to leave and it was a hard decision to make…but when the door closes in one area, God can open another. I just have to trust God with that promise.

Don’t give up, no matter what you do…

Your God isn’t through with you;

Someday you will be a polished living stone

Though now you are a diamond in the rough.

I am learning that life is work…whether you get paid for it or whether you volunteer, or how you spend your time otherwise. Friend and family relationships take work. Maintaining a healthy diet and exercise takes work. Learning new things takes work. Loving, forgiving, serving–takes work. My relationship with God takes work. I think I get so caught up in thinking that “work” is only associated with making money that I got upset at the thought of not making anymore. I felt like a quitter…a lazy person…weak (more in the pride), vulnerable and unsure of my abilities.

Don’t give in, not even if you sin;

Just cast all your cares on Him.

Someday you will be a polished living stone

Though now you are a diamond in the rough.

One week out of work and I have been on a roller coaster of trying to manage my time and energy on getting things done counter with relaxing and enjoying my time. I started a few new books and a devotional and felt pretty sure of myself by the weekend. I traveled with my parents to see my Grandparents/aunt and uncle. I got to chat with my aunt during a short drive to and from places. I just sort of rambled about health and being out of work and then honestly said how I was feeling stuck in a few areas of my life, mostly because my relationship with God is distant. I said, “I don’t really know where this is going.” And she said, “God knows.”

Love your neighbor as you love yourself,

But you must learn to love yourself.

—

Esteem your brother higher, higher than yourself

But you must first esteem yourself.

I must also work on seeing past my limitations. God sees possibilities. Most of my reasons for leaving work were due to physical limitations. It is hard to see what I can do in sight of another job. It reminds me of when Jesus called his disciples, specifically Peter and Andrew (Matthew 4:18-20). They were fisherman…not scribes, not priests, not anyone of significance and yet God saw possibilities for His kingdom though their lives. They were not perfect and had lots to learn, but God used them. That is the beauty of being a diamond in the rough.

There are times when I am tempted-

To turn off this rugged road I travel on.

There are times when I say, ‘Jesus, can’t you find another girl to sing your song?’

Well, I know that I’m not the only one

Who can sing this melody.

But He’s chosen me to bless me

And to bring me into what is best for me.*

References:

Honeytree. “Diamond in the Rough.” Melodies in Me. Myrrh Records, 1978.

*Honeytree. “Live for Jesus.” Maranatha Marathon. Myrrh Records, 1979.