Birds of a Feather

I read this quote in college during the semester I was on the Tarceva oral chemo pills. Amidst chemo, my strenuous 18 credit hours and volunteer time…I found the quote so amusing and fitting to myself that I adopted it for my “quote” of the semester.

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. ~Michael Caine

It is nothing theological, philosophical or life changing; in spite of myself, I did not do a good job that semester of keeping calm on the surface…even though everything in me was paddling underneath.

I have not thought of that quote in quite sometime. It was only until Mom and I took a walk around the community park/pond that it resurfaced in my memory. We pull up to the park and see the paparazzi of ducks approaching our car. Mom mentioned we should have brought bread. I remembered that I had one packet of graham crackers left over from the hospital in my purse. Success:

The small packet of crackers did not last long, even though I tried breaking off small pieces–so we just started to take our walk. Most followed us:

After realizing we had no more food, they made a rondevu at our car.

Some needed a little nudge to get out of the way… 🙂

This little time at the park reminded me of when Jesus fed the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-21). Jesus went to a remote spot to be by himself. The crowds (like our ducks) followed him…seeking Him to meet their physical needs. Jesus did not send them away, like my nudge to the ducks, but had compassion on them. Come dinnertime–Jesus did not have graham crackers, but the disciples had two fish and five loaves of bread. His disciples questioned as to how they could feed these people with only this small amount of food? It was a step of faith to believe that Jesus could feed all. And He did–with abundant left overs! The people did not long for more like the ducks at the park. They left satisfied.

So often I come to God like a duck. I can pretend on the outside to have everything calm and under control. But I do not. My inner being tries to control everything from having a productive schedule to keeping my medicines list straight. It starts to consume me on the inside even if I am calm on the outside. But God sees me as I am: a duck ready for graham crackers–hoping for more than just a life running off a time schedule.

I write this now, because I know it will happen. It is my transition stage–going from high activity and bustle of health related issues to entering the days of “normality.” When this happens, I see my high dependency in Christ diminish. I start taking things back in my own hands; in busyness, I forget to take time to sit and rest; and I easily question the simple tests of faith like the disciples.

It is dinnertime and I don’t want to leave the mountain yet; I still have so much yet to learn.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:28-30