Category Archives: Paintings

August 13, 2012 · 12:51 pm

More Art on the Lawn Photos!

Hello all!

I hope your Sunday was a pleasant day whether you worked or you rested. I rested!!! I pretty much just got nothing done! I tried to upload some pictures on here yesterday and ended up falling asleep again on the couch! I guess I needed it. Yesterday was a nice time to reflect on Saturday’s events with my family and discuss future possibilities. This really was a huge event for me…such an open door to step through and see where it leads. It is exciting, and all so new–I have more things to learn about in different areas that are in the making. Currently, I do not have any paintings displayed at any other locations. There are several good possibilities for later events, so  I will be sure to keep every one updated of the where and when details as time goes on. So if that interests you, just keep checking occasionally for new posts concerning this matter. They would be referenced under the paintings archive. 🙂

And finally for today… more pictures!!!

This was the front left side of my booth. The story board shares a bit of my story and highlights of my past ten years of living with NF2.

My family was present, but this is the only picture I got with a family member. 🙂

My booth was right off the sidewalk! Just perfect!!

And as promised–a few of my favorites!!!

Call me a cat l0ver, but this is one of my ultimate favorites!

Thanks to my sister for the idea of putting the word “HOPE” instead of flowers! 🙂

The day after I finished this painting, a cardinal flew past my windshield on my way to work. I was passing through a wooded area, just a beautiful setting and a big surprise! It was special…my first sight of one since the move here!!

I like the simplicity of this set and the color blends. It started out as a place to use my extra paints. Then the idea formed in my head! Notice any patterns?? 🙂

And this is a true representation of my brushstroke style and the abstract painting that I just love! The contrast from light to different shades of dark with the green spot as the middle focus. I didn’t plan it that way, but that is just how it turned out. 🙂 It was a really fun painting! I was painting in my normal fashion–when my concentration was disrupted by a splatter of blue paint; I went in for the curve like motion and my force was too strong! I saw a whole blob fly in the air (literally) and land across the room on the floor. LOL. Whoops!! 😉

Lastly, another peacock! It is quite a bit bigger than the one I painted for my sister a year ago. I used sort of the same format, but different style of the feathers and facial features. My favorite part of this painting (or on peacocks in general) is their mohawk feathers on their head! 😀

Thanks for taking the time to see my pictures! I hope you enjoy them, because each one was fun to paint and create. As you view my work, remember that all things are possible with God! He shows it to me time and time again with every new painting I paint. I would have never in my wildest dreams see myself doing something like this. And yet, here I am. 🙂 I am so excited to see where this leads…and lots to pray about in the mean time! Have a great day everyone!

More to come…

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August 11, 2012 · 12:39 am

Art as a language.

Have you heard the phrase that when people are fluent in a language, they dream it? If art is a language, then I am fluent in it. 🙂 The last few weeks, I have been painting in my dreams! I can see the colors and feel myself doing brushstroke techniques…blending and creating. Considering this week’s schedule, I guess the lack of sleep and all those hours in the basement were rewarded today!!

Let’s just say today was AMAZING!!! What a neat experience to be part of the Art on the Lawn Festival in Yellow Springs! I met so many nice people and some of my friends came too! It was a long day though! Starting out the event with only a few hours of sleep is not ideal, but I am planning on catching up on sleep tomorrow. Anyway, the day was a grand time! Kicked off the event by twisting my ankle in a hole incognito by the grass as I was walking to the registration table. No harm done…only grass stained pants! My family was there to help set up, which I think they did a superb job!! (Kudos!!!) During the day, most conversations were giving information…most people have never heard of the disease before. I had a story board there with some pictures to explain some of my story, which helped a lot to understand about the genetics and why I have the disease. Because a portion of my proceeds are going to be sent to The Children’s Tumor Foundation, they were able to send us flyers for more readings. I think we passed out all but two! I was amazed though at the occasional conversations with people who are either cancer surviors or knew someone who struggled from other benign tumors or even NF1. To think that these diseases are so different and yet there is a common ground. We understand each other. 🙂

Today just could not have been any better! I raised over a hundred dollars for The Children’s Tumor Foundation! Thank you everyone who contributed! God even blessed the day with super dark, rainy clouds that never poured! Only a few sprinkles! And to end the day, some of our family friends were there to help take down…which was a blessing, because I think by that time we all were pretty much exhausted! I even fell asleep at the dinner table! LOL. My favorite part of the day was sharing all the excitement with my family. They deserved it just as much as me. Although they would deny that–but I would not be doing this without their ideas, support, prayers and encouragement!

I was asked a few times today what inspires my paintings. Truly a good question! The only answer I can say is that this is a gift that God has given to me. I love to encourage people. And now I have a new passion to share my story, think of others above myself, stretch myself beyond what I think I am capable of doing, and have fun in the process. Today I was called an artist. As an artist, I am still not sure where this leads but I would love to be part of something like this again!! Right now, I just look forward to things getting back to normal for a few days: Back to normal sleeping schedules; back to one cup of coffee a day (not three!); back to normal work hours; and back to writing blog posts more frequently.  🙂 Speaking of which–I am starting to fall asleep. Time for rest! More to come…

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August 7, 2012 · 10:42 pm

You’re Invited!!

Wow. This Saturday couldn’t come any faster! And with a loaded week of doctor appointments, work, a football game 🙂 and the finishing touches of paints and details for the display of my booth…sleeping in my MRI today has never felt so good!!! Yep, these summer months just seemed to fly right on by!!! My last MRI was in April. Things were stable, so the decision was to go another three months with no treatments of any sort and let my leg continue to heal from the blood clot. I am doing well for the most part. Some days I feel the tightness and pressure from the tumors more than others, but God always gives the grace needed to continue on. I must admit that standing on my feet all day long while painting and drinking lots of caffeine is not very normal, so I will look forward to more normality next week.

There are a few things on my list that I need to discuss with doctors about on Thursday. My mom and I go down for a full day of appointments with different doctors. I also have a hearing test on Thursday morning.

Usually during a week like this–full of doctor appointments–I often get nervous. Since I don’t know the results of my MRI, my mind starts to wander…thinking of all the different things that could be showing on the scans. I get frustrated when I go to the appointments and hear that nothing has changed on the scans. Don’t get me wrong, that is great news! But when side affects continue to change–more weakness, more difficulties in hearing, more pain spasms, more achy nerves, more fatigue…if I go Thursday and hear “No change”–I might be upset. But see this is all nonsense to think this way. I have no idea of the scan results and no control over it, so why worry about it? Bad habit I suppose.

To ease my bad habit, I honestly have been too busy these past few weeks and especially this weekend to even think about my doctor appointments. I have too much on my “to do” list for Saturday. I am so thankful for my family helping me…not only with different suggestions for paintings, but also ideas for my display and logo, getting supplies, steering clear of my messes in the basement, encouraging me when I am burnt out, and for planning on being there to help all day during the festival! One thing that is for sure–if I ever do another event like this, I will (1) have all the supplies such as tables and a canopy, (2) have one experience under my belt for reference of things that went well and things that did not, and (3) I will remember the cause/effect of procrastination and not go in that direction! Overall, it has been a great learning experience! I even painted different styles and experimented with different themes, textures and colors. 🙂 Not to mention sizes! Some paintings are almost as big as me (and wider!)

Thus, I would like to formally invite you to this Saturday’s events!

What a great opportunity to represent my paintings, my passion and what God has done in my life! I am so excited!! Check back early next week for a few pictures of my favorite paintings and stories of Saturday’s event!

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July 24, 2012 · 8:14 pm

Wishful thinking…

As I paint, I have been jamming to oldies. Anything past the year 2004, I really don’t listen to due to my hearing loss. I don’t know the words plus I can’t catch the beat equals that I stick to oldies that I know. Personally, I think the 80’s-90’s are the best anyway. However, I have also been into movie soundtracks or classical music lately. It helps me to think while I paint. Today, it is Bach and the Sea. The London Symphony Orchestra plays the greatest of Bach’s pieces with the sounds of the sea in the background. It is so relaxing.

A few songs are so calm…lots of cello so the sound is deep–makes me want to sit by the sea with a cup of tea in a cute sundress and fancy hat. Others pieces have more upper violin with a good beat which makes me want to ballroom dance like they did in the day (think Pride and Prejudice style songs); and still others, I wish to have my flute at hand. Although I definitely could not play a note or even remember the hand positions, I have been missing being able to play the flute. I really loved it. I can see myself being the flute soloist in Bach’s “Badinerie”. 🙂 My favorite piece on the cd is Bach’s No.1. I think it is the whole symphony, but I am not positive. Lovely melodies none the less!!

With the Olympics starting this Friday in London…my thoughts of my dream vacation arouse. I really hope to make it to England at some point in my life. There are a few things on my list to see: London (obviously), Oxford University and C.S. Lewis’ home, “The Kilns”; Canterbury and St. Augustine’s Abbey in Kent; and the countryside of England…maybe Wales. So much to see!

I love any history (as you might already know!), but since some anscestry is rooted in England, I find their history even more fascinating! Last summer, I spent a lot of time studying the time periods from King Henry VIII to King James I. This summer it has been King Arthur. I picked up T.H. White’s classic work, The Once and Future King, but it is over 500 pages and with all this painting–I have a feeling it will be my autumn season reading (with tea). 🙂 For right now, I just enjoy BBC’s show called Merlin. You can watch the first two seasons on hulu. I have yet to start The Downton Abbey series, but I will!! 🙂

My final months in Denver, a friend and I went on a quest to visit different tea shops around town. We found a British-owned cafe called The House of Commons. 🙂 We enjoyed the simplicity of decor, bright atmosphere, and sugar lumps for our tea. I, of course, put in three. 😉

Have a splendid evening, regardless of how many lumps of sugar are in your tea!

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July 21, 2012 · 12:46 am

The Master Painter

This week I have been spending much of my time painting. The Yellow Springs “Art on the Lawn Festival” that is approaching on August 11th. I am getting excited for the event, but in the next two weeks I also have a lot of details to figure out with the booth set up and paintings. I am so thankful for my family allowing me to take over the basement with my projects. My dad even put in a fluorescent light in a corner of the unfinished part, so I can paint my big paintings. Yes, HUGE. Well, they could be bigger, but for right now they are the biggest I have ever worked with, meaning the boards being almost as tall as I am…that I consider pretty big. 🙂

A few things I have learned the past few weeks of painting: Artists keep an open mind (explore possibilities); Artists learn from others and artists do not procrastinate. Also from personal experiences: Artists do not talk with their hands while holding a paintbrush. 🙂

My family sees all my paintings. I have had paintings I consider duds, but that is where my family sees potential in them. Some like today, needed help! My mom and sister offered a few suggestions of how to make the painting better…then my dad came in and made a few comments, so I fixed more things. As I was finishing, I got paint (unknowingly) on my hand that smeared the bottom of the board. I had to redo the whole bottom half. I spent hours on this one piece. After finishing, I took a small break then headed back to work on another. But then it hit. Just this wave of fatigue. It felt like being back at college during finals week. I caved and took a nap.

As I was cleaning up for the night, I noticed a beautiful sunset out the window. I grabbed my camera and rushed outside just as the colors were peaking through the clouds. I realized that my painting is so small compared to the sky–God’s canvas. He is the Master Painter. I stood in awe of His work, His beauty and His majesty.

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.

Their voicegoes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for  the sun,
which comes out like  a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.

Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.

Psalm 19:1-6

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June 26, 2012 · 11:12 pm

Freshly Squeezed Lemonade

Today is Lemonade Day! At least it was at work. I am a big fan of lemonade mostly because I don’t like the taste of water. Isn’t that odd? Water (unless it is salt water) does not taste like anything. Of course, Denver water did taste–and it was a nasty taste!! My habbit of drinking Sobe Lifewaters or lemonade is the key to quenching my thirst. Nothing like lemonade on a hot summer day!

Lemonade fits any occasion…small patio parties or barbeques; kid’s lemonade stand with cookies; reading on a lawn chair; at baseball games or any other outside event; or even a tasty treat when I paint. 🙂 How did you like that transition sentence?? 😉 No really, I wanted to share with you the latest of my summer theme paintings:

Tidal wave

8×10

I painted this a few days after watching Soul Surfer with my sister. Believe it or not, it was my first time watching it. Bethany Hamilton’s story of faith and perseverance is inspiring. I was encouraged to hear the questions she faced in going through losing her arm. Even with totally different health issues, I think we asked some of the same questions. Bethany lives out Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” So when I went to paint a few days later, I had her story in mind.

Seeing people surf amazes me. They hold onto the water like a wall. The waves are rolling in and coming down, but they continue on…persevering to get to the end of the wave and come out on the other end. Reminds me of Psalm 42:7-8,

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your  waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,     and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

 My next paintings were just for fun…

8×10

(I know it looks a lot like the one I did for my Mom. The only painting I have ever tried to copy a 2nd time around. Nothing better than the first one. 🙂 Lesson learned.)

Country Pleasures

11×14

Buckeye Pride

8×10

Notice the way I used a map behind? I used Mod Podge glue. 🙂 Also notice you are staring at the northwest part of the state. Well, I used the other half on Dad’s Christmas present (which was a painting), LOL. If you don’t know what this stands for…it is The Ohio State University logo. A mere try, but the leaf turned out more Maple looking I think.

Sunset

12×12

For this last piece, I found my favorite hymns (I own several hymn books) and used them as the background. I wanted it to be more just an outline of paint so most of the words showed, but it turned out better. The mod podge worked great, but when I went to paint, the papers shifted a little, leaving texture on the mountains. I like the way it turned out!

A few of the hymns I used: The Old Rugged Cross, For the Beauty of the Earth, All Creatures of our God and King, Draw me Nearer, Standing on the Promises, Crown Him with Many Crowns, Heaven Came Down, Surely Goodness and Mercy, To God be the Glory, and a few more. 🙂

18×24

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

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May 31, 2012 · 2:32 am

Colorado

My thoughts the past few days have been consumed with memories. Colorado. Mmmm, it has been a long time since I have sat down and been totally overwhelmed with thoughts, especially of my favorite things, people and places. Sort of like a noun…a noun can be people, places, things or an idea. There is also proper nouns. Colorado. It sort of fits in all those categories! That is a pretty good noun!!!! 🙂

Blue skies, no humidity, snow peaks, sunsets, friends, family, and my favorite city in the world: Denver.

I love Denver. I loved the neighborhood I lived in…it put me ten minutes from the mountains and less than ten minutes from Downtown. People would ask where I was from. “Denver,” I replied. It sounded so cool. Denver is home of my favorite sports teams, coffee shops, and parks. I also thought the art museum was amazing, bonus free admission on the first Saturday of the month. Denver on the map makes sense. The streets are numbered horizontally and most streets going vertically go from farthest north to farthest south. Sometimes I would just get in my car and drive around the city. By the time I left, I was a city driver! I could even parallel park Downtown!

There is so much about Denver that I love. Most of my thoughts this week were of Denver. Of my “family” I left behind. Thoughts just came at different moments during the day…the fun memories, the bad memories, the places I visited often or drove past daily. College memories. Post-grad life. My old roommates and the times we had together. Walking across the street to my best friend’s apartment to hang out. My first paintings. Going to work in the morning with the sun rising in my rear view mirror…while I was looking towards the purple mountains and blue sky out of my front windshield. Hanging out with my downtown ministry on Thursdays…there is not a day that goes by where I do not think of those kids.

It is hard to believe that a whole year has come and gone. It was last year during this week that I was saying my goodbyes. The year has been a crazy one! Far more than I ever dreamed of, but still…Denver holds that title…”Home.” I think it will just always have that title.

But there is so much more of Colorado to see past the cities. Although I must say Colorado Springs was another favorite place!! You get past the cities to the small towns in the mountains (or at least surrounded by mountains). The ranches, cattle, crops, rodeos!!! My sister and I shared a room that faced the crops across the road. There was nothing like falling asleep to the sound and smells of fresh-cut barely to the hums of the combines. Then the cows in the pasture out back would take on the encore…not so beautiful. LOL.

Looking back, the town I grew up in was perfect. Growing up I did not think that way…it actually took moving to Denver for me to realize that fact. 🙂

Our hometown was like the song of Cheers…

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go,

Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same;

You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.

There are things of a small town that I love. For one, we knew everyone at school in all grades. Yes, that is possible…and we were not that small of a school but small enough. I still regularly chat with my close girlfriends from those days. Others will send me emails to ask how I am doing. I think that is special. Which brings me to the main point of small towns…everyone knows everything about everyone else. In other words, word travels fast. 🙂

There are so many fun things to do in the surrounding mountains. Every summer we would take a camping trip. Camping…in a tent and most of the time where there were no outhouses. Yeah, nature’s luxury at best. Hiking, canoeing, and my not so favorite of fishing. There is an old mining town about an hour away…that is my favorite mountain town!! In the summer, they set of 4th of July fireworks from the mountains above town. Sitting on a hill on the other side was always cold but had the greatest view. There were a bunch of tourist shops…best coffee and fudge around!

I am sure by now you might be wondering about all this random chat about Colorado. First, I think it is because I realize that God has his own unique way of answering my prayers. I wanted to move closer to family but did not realize at the time how hard adjusting would be after spending my whole life (minus the first 6 years) in Colorado. But looking back over the one year here, I have seen so much family! I love my family. And now part of my family is back in Colorado…talk about vacations!!! Whoo hoo!

Speaking of which, I should be packing. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE TIME HAS COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 As of a few hours, I will be IN COLORADO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My thoughts have been so consumed with this all weekend!!! I could not focus last night…so I sat down and read Psalm 139. It really is an amazing Psalm about God knowing us from even before we are born…he knows the plans he has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I wanted to read this Psalm mostly because I wanted to control my anxious thoughts. Verse 23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”

So there I sat. I just started talking to God about all these things in my head…I was trying to plan out what I could see in my short time there…but my anxious thoughts were becoming overwhelming. It was almost like driving in the mountains but you spend the whole time reading a book (which I will refrain from doing. I am only taking it for the plane rides and for if we go fishing. 🙂 ) But do you see what I mean? I finally realized the best way to go to Colorado is to let go of my past memories and take in new ones. I can stop planning because I don’t have to see everything…there is not enough time anyway. But I can enjoy what I do see and the people I see it with. My anxious thoughts are calm, but I still can say, “I can’t wait!!!” 😀

P.S. I do hope to see one of these. 😀

We liked this song growing up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwARpaKHx_w

References:

http://www.denverartmuseum.org/

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/cheerslyrics.html

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139&version=NASB

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May 24, 2012 · 11:07 pm

Spring Paintings.

Hey all! It has been a while since I posted some pictures of recent paintings. I took six more paintings into the coffee shop today! (https://mylifewithnf2.com/2012/04/13/friday-the-13th/‎). They will be on display starting next week. I am really excited about the extra time to display my artwork. I painted some summer theme sets, but decided I am not going to show the pictures on here yet…I will 😀 just not yet. Here are the ones from the past month that have been on display for a few weeks.

Summit Venture

18×24

Blooming Bird of Paradise

8×10

Genesis

8×10

Celebration

11×14

Polka dot Poppies

8×10

Ocean’s Tide

8×10

Summer Blaze

12×12

Do you have a favorite? Or any you don’t like? I am trying to keep my abstract style but use different techniques and themes to broaden my horizons. (My dad would be proud of me for saying that phrase.) 🙂 Let me know what you think. Sometimes I feel stuck in a rut–like in a certain style or brush stroke or colors and so it is nice to hear some different ideas.

I have a lot to think about and sort out regarding my paintings…now being for sale and all. When I first started, I was painting for friends and family. The thought of selling my paintings made me feel like taking profit for the gifts God has clearly given me. Kind of made me have this weird feeling when I thought about it, so I just pushed it off. Then God started opening doors.

I want to use my paintings to not only encourage others with my story, but also with giving back to non-profits I support. If you could keep me in your prayers as to what areas God wants me to give back to, I would appreciate it.

This is the start of a whole new chapter in my paintings. I am nervous and excited. Nervous that I will start to ridicule myself instead of painting with passion. Excited to share my paintings and story with more people…getting out of my comfort zone. Excited to give back because God has blessed me with so much.

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May 14, 2012 · 12:00 am

I love you, Mom!!!!

Yesterday, I tried painting outside.  I decided next time I might just stay inside. 🙂 While I enjoyed a whole afternoon outside with my family, I did not enjoy flies landing on my wet boards, my paint drying too fast as I was trying to paint, and finding a spider crawling on my shorts. I just so happened to be painting with red! I voiced my “Mel scream”–just a big AAHHHH!!!!–and hit my leg with my red paintbrush a few times. I don’t think I killed it (although my shorts and shirt say otherwise), but at least I got it off me! Yuck. I am no fan of spiders! 😛

Otherwise, I did a set of paintings that turned out pretty neat. At first, I was not liking the colors. Somehow they looked better in my mind when I was planning them, but when I put the beads on later, then it turned out really different!! I like it. The beads are not glued on yet, because I ran out of glue. When they are set on, you can make the paintings stand up; they are wooden boxes, not canvases.

 I painted the “o” with a sponge! 🙂

My mom has the gift to see the potential in things. Yesterday, it was a small painting I was trying to do for a friend. I came in the kitchen and said, “See,” with disgust. Mom looked at it and said, “Let me think of some different ideas.” 🙂 Moms are great for that. You hand them anything you make that is not worth the potential and they see beauty in it. We would make Mom bird houses out of milk cartons when we were little and she thought they were great.

Today is Mother’s Day! Happy Mother’s Day to my grandmas! Thank you for your love and godly influence in my life. Happy 1st Mother’s Day to my dear friend–Auntie Mel can’t wait to meet Baby M!!!! 😀 And Happy Mother’s Day to my mom! You are my best friend! Thanks for listening to my thoughts, day of work stories, frustrations and tears, laughs, tacky jokes and questions. Thanks for spoiling Muffy, being with me at appointments, all the times you drove to Denver for chemo and to do fun things. The week we spent at the Hyatt (thank you Broncos!), which were the days before iPhones and GPS…all the wrong turns and one way streets. 🙂 Thank you for the encouraging notes, prayers and Bible verses that bring me hope on the days I have none. The list could go on. I love you so much, more than I could ever write on a blog post. XOXO

My first Mother’s Day

The first time Mom and I were together in Denver was in 5th grade. She was a chaperone for my class field trip to the Capitol and Nature & Science Museum. She bought me a necklace from the souvenir shop. I still have it. 🙂

Right after my surgery, December 2008, to place in my medi-port for the IV chemo treatments I had during that spring of 2009.

Right after a chemo session, 2010. We went to the Art Museum for the King Tut exhibit. Mom was pushing me in a wheel chair and I fell asleep. 🙂 Which was a bummer, because it was such a cool exhibit! Oh well. We hope to go the Pompeii exhibit in Cincinnati soon!

Most recent picture.

❤

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April 25, 2012 · 12:13 am

Unscripted.

Usually my blog posts have a theme. I think of different things and put them together in a blog, blending nicely into each other through transition verbs and sentence. In itself, that sort of represents my train of thought, which I have mentioned before, and how I go about being productive in a day. Today’s productivity was running errands after work and scheduling upcoming appointments. I go from schedule to schedule…everything in a timely manner and train of thought. Not tonight. I decided tonight I am not going to have any plans. No train of thoughts. No historical evidence or fun facts (well, I shall refrain). Just me. Unscripted.

The past few months, I have been struggling with finding my passion again. In Denver, I was so involved. I was dedicated to work and surrounded by college friends and roommates, volunteered every week to a street church downtown with kids–which was pretty much my joy of living life each week–and when I was in need of some adventure or time alone, I would go to the mountains just ten minutes down the road. You get to the top of the first hill and see out like a 360 view of the city. I spent a lot of time doing that, especially the last full summer I was there. In the moments of chaos during those months…just seeing the view from on top a mountain made me forget the valleys and shadows of life beneath. Not that here is not beautiful, but there are no mountain tops to see around. Maybe that is sort of significant to my passion. I left it on the mountain top as I started into the valleys. See my problem does not lie with the health related issues being the “valleys and shadows”. They are my mountain tops. How frustrating it is for me to know this! It is so backwards, but in the backwards of the thought…it makes sense. When I have health related things come up…the biggies like chemo, surgery or the blood clot…I have nothing to depend upon but God’s timing, provisions and strength. When I become stable, I find that my focus shifts…I find my own strength to depend on, “I can do it”, like proving I can on my own; getting back to work, I find my own provisions; and I take over my schedule of “things to get done”. It is a habit. It is a bad habit. Why should my life be at the mountain top only in my physical sufferings? Why can’t I remain at the mountain top…or at least the upward climb towards that place even on the normal days? I believe that is why God has convicted my heart to get more in the Word and prayer as of late, because I am entering my valleys again. I should be praising God even on my boring, normal days just like I do when I am in pain. Such different advice apart from the other endless bestsellers on these subjects saying it the other way around. But that is me. Unscripted.

Summit Venture

You know what was great about today though? Blue sky! It is most often a rare sight to see here. Blue skies, green grass. My favorite part is walking or driving through the “tunnels” of trees. They clump together and shade over so it feels like a green tunnel. I think it is so beautiful! Reminds me of a song by Rich Mullins called “The Color Green.” I just have to give you this link of his music video. I watch it when I feel like I am living in black and white. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88Lx1D0gbTo.

Color is: Laughter, being creative, reading in a coffee shop while slowly sipping my cup of tea or chatting with a friend, walking with my mom in the evenings, playing Quicksand with my older sister and brother-in-law or chess with my little sister. Family nights watching “Shaun the Sheep”. Blending paints on a white canvas and coming up with a masterpiece in the end. Petting Muffy when he sits in my lap, brushing my teeth, writing my grandparents, creating new outfits out of old ones, suprise dinners with Dad, looking at old pictures, or seeing new places. Better yet, finding old postcards of places we have been to over the years. 🙂 Today I smiled when I waved to an old man crossing the road, seeing a friend at work, watching the ladies in front of me at the line in Michael’s chat with each other, mailing letters, getting a text from my sister about Lord of the Rings and eating marshmallows for dessert. Today I found myself being thankful for butterfly wings. They are so pretty. I saw a bunch of butterflies yesterday when my mom, sister and I were at a conservatory for plants and butterflies, birds and a mouse. Yes, a cute little mouse. 🙂

And that is me at the moment. Unscripted–in the beauty of stillness, a blend of colorful thoughts, and surrounded with love. Like this new butterfly…ready to spread my wings and fly.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is  the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

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