Tag Archives: kindness

May 21, 2014 · 9:50 pm

Everything I Am Not

In season three of The Andy Griffith Show, there is an episode titled, “The Great Filling Station Robbery.” In the beginning of the show, we find Deputy Fife (as usual) trying to bring the Mayberry jail to more modern terms with technology, though it is not needed. As the episode progresses, the Filling Station has a theft problem. A troubled teen named Jimmy had just been given a job there to assist Gomer in the pile-up of cars needing to be fixed while the owner, Wally, is away. Because of his troubled past record, Jimmy is blamed for the robbery. Andy takes the calm road and waits for the next evening to see what happens; Barney, of course, sets a flawed attempt of greatness to catch the crime in action and jumps to conclusions. At the end, it is Jimmy’s knowledge in modern technology that catches the true criminal in action, proving that he was not what everyone thought he was to be.

Although Deputy Barney Fife didn’t do anything to solve the robbery, the ending minutes can make you giggle when Barney calls his gal, Juanita, at the diner. In typical Barney-ego seriousness, he recites a poem:

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Juanita, Juanita…lovely, dear Juanit

From your head down to your feet,

There’s nothing half so sweet–

As Juanita, Juanita…lovely, dear Juanit.

Oh, there are things of wonder of which men like to sing.

There are pretty sunsets and birds upon the wing.

But of all the joys of nature, none truly can compare

with Juanita, Juanita…she of beauty beyond compare.

Although I don’t recite poems comparing a sweetheart to the joys in nature, I have found myself lately in a state of comparison, usually in physical terms only. I can compare myself to others placing myself above them (judgmental) or placing myself below them (insecurity). Yesterday, I did both.

Being disabled, it is easy to find yourself in this position. I wonder if any other disabled individuals can also agree to this, but personally, I find myself comparing my physical and mental state towards other disabled individuals. There is always the persons that are far worse off than yourself; sympathetic thoughts towards that individual mingle with your own thoughts of gratitude…”I’m glad that’s not me.” And it is wrong.

On the other spectrum, there are those who you may consider not as bad as what you endure, so you place yourself above them in judgement. This is my downfall. In comparing myself to others in this way, it makes my own pains seem not as heavy. And it is not so much a condemning judgement, as it is maybe more self-pity; a “I can no longer do these things, but you can…” But even this thinking is wrong.

Comparing myself to anything other than what God holds true in my life can only be “half so sweet…” and I miss the purest blessings of reaching out to those around me.

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January 20, 2014 · 12:11 am

Thinking of you.

Three words. It can change the whole course of the day, especially when God intervenes in timing. He knows when you need to hear them spoken to the soul, when you need the nourishment because the circumstances around you have left you exhausted and dehydrated. I can’t even count the times this has happened during my journey, the last 11 years.

Last night, I found myself on Youtube watching those inspirational-acts-of-kindness movies that get you a bit teary eyed. It might be part of my personality traits, but I got to admit…all those childhood days of pretending to be Florence Nightingale came to memory and I suddenly wanted to do something for someone. Something big. I wanted to be one of those inspirational stories; I wanted to make a difference in someone’s life. All I could think of was donating money to different places. Why does it always seem t0 come to that?

Today I finished an autobiography, Unthinkable, by Scott Rigsby. He is a double amputee above the knees. At the age of 18, a truck collision shattered just about everything in his body, especially his future dreams. Reading the first two chapters you clearly see that it is a miracle he is even alive. Over the next twenty years, Rigsby went through countless surgeries, therapy, drug addiction, party life, seven years of college (and still graduating with no sense of direction in life), a severe case of TBI (traumatic Brain Injury) and depression, debt and no money for bills, in and out of jobs and lawyer cases for settlement issues, and the constant public eye at his “disability.” I think he went through just about everything.

In his own journey, God led him to a place where Rigsby surrendered everything and it was only then that God started to piece together a new course: the unthinkable. Rigsby had always been a runner, but dreams of a future in that seemed impossible; he is now a life showing that nothing is impossible for God. After picking up a few sport related magazines with stories of triathlon athletes, he got a crazy idea–he would participate in a triathlon. He had virtually nothing going for him..not in the physical or financial realm, training or knowledge of what this all entitled…he just knew this was the open door that God was gently leading him through–the chance to use his disabilities to bring God glory for the capability.

As I read, it became obvious that God used ordinary people with big hearts to help Rigsby accomplish his dream: the Hawaiian Ironman triathlon. They saw a need and simply used their time, talents or training skills, connections, hospitality to meet the need. His supporters didn’t act because they wanted to be a huge “inspirational teary-eyed story.” They helped because their thoughts were for Rigsby…they were his “Thinking of you” crew. He couldn’t have achieved his goal on his own. Rigsby now uses his testimony to help others cope with loss and shattered dreams. He doesn’t do it by heroic deeds, but words of encouragement and guidance.

This weekend has left me with many thoughts–I still don’t feel like I have a dream. I still see limits in my life physically, but learned much from Rigsby’s testimony of trusting God with the impossible. I need to be more in prayer for direction–how God can use me (my time and talents) to help others. I don’t want to just say, “Thinking of you.” I want it sincere, with Love.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

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April 18, 2013 · 8:34 pm

The Bigger Picture

You know today was different. It was great. I think Miss Stacey had something going there when she told Anne, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it,” (Lucy Maud Montgmery.) I am pretty sure my day has had a few mistakes in it already, but it is fresh. It started so fresh and just seems to keep flowing with a good theme. Even now, it is a beautiful evening!

I am learning things in my daily readings, though they seem more like puzzle pieces at the time. I cannot see the whole picture yet, but start to get a faint glimpse of something..the bigger picture. I have several devotional books I am going through simultaneously. This morning they all related to each other…they all discussed forgiveness and kindness. They discussed unity. They all mentioned the passage from Ephesians 4:31-32,

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I start getting ready for the day thinking mostly about kindness. Who can I show extra kindness to today? In my mind I envisioned an opportunity would somehow be presented during the day…an open door to extend kindness. Little did I realize that I would not be giving kindness, but receiving it.

I spent the day in the town of Yellow Springs. It is a great little town. Full of shops that sell mostly handmade items and lots of artwork!!! Different aspiring musicians will play on the street corners and my favorite part is that the public restrooms are located in the old renovated train station. 🙂 The town is adorned in bright colors, funky store names that you remember and at this time of year–loads of spring blossoms (which also means huge bees!)

My goal was going to a pizza parlor to discuss a possibility of displaying my paintings. I had missed my contact, so I just decided to eat there for lunch and read. The man who took my order was very kind. He explained and re-explained things when I could not understand. He showed me to the salad bar and caught my book as I clumsily dropped it while asking more questions out of curiosity about the pizzas and toppings. I found a booth and sat down. I noticed while I was reading/eating that the man who took my order was the only waiter there. He also took the orders up front for carry out and ran the cash register. Then I remembered only seeing one chef too. I had come in right when they opened at 11:30 a.m. By noon, they had a full house. These guys had every reason in the book to be grumpy if they wanted. But instead they were kind and full of energy, resulting in a positive mood throughout the room. I enjoyed my meal and after paying, thanked them on my way out. I don’t think they heard me as the line had piled up behind me at the register.

My friend came to Yellow Springs a bit later. We walked around, going into different shops and enjoying the nice day (windy, but nice!) We stopped in this store that had just about everything. It was almost set up like a half antique store/half Charming Charlie store. The merchandise was organized by colors and themes. Towards the back, we found the craft section. I found a few pieces of fabric for my paintings, so we headed back to the front to pay. I was a few dollars short in cash and there was a $10 minimum for swiping your card. I was just about to say something like, “Let me keep looking.” Or, “Let me look at the candy section.” (They had fudge!) I figured I could just get myself to the $10 limit and then use my card. (Note to self: carry cash next time.) The lady placed my few fabrics and post card in a bag and handed it to me. I took it and started open my mouth to say something about continuing shopping when she said, “It’s ok. Take it and have a great day!” It was genuine. She was not mad I did not have the cash. In fact, she was smiling. I questioned to be sure and she confirmed. All I could say was, “Wow. Thanks so much!” Then proceeded to the door where my friend was waiting outside and I told her about the kindness I had just received.

Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” I experienced this today. When I observed the kind attitudes in the pizza parlor and experienced the gift of kindness in the craft shop, I think that I started to see the bigger picture from my “puzzle pieces” this morning. I should not go around expecting to give kindness. It should flow–it should just be part of me. It should be in my words, deeds, thoughts. I should not be expecting to receive kindness either. When I do receive it, it should be taken in with a heart of gratitude, thankfulness, praise. It leaves me humble.

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