April 1, 2012 · 6:16 pm

I am a dandelion.

I am not sure how this happened–but I noticed this morning that our yard, both front and back, is now a field of dandelions! As I walked out among them in the grass, I could not help but notice there is a sort of beauty to the flower of this not-so-favorite-weed. It sure does add color! But I also was hopping around trying not to get my slippers yellowed either. 😉

Today I saw that dandelions can resemble human personalities: they can either be an introvert–

Or an extrovert–

See my concept?? 😀 I actually just learned something new about dandelions. I was looking up the correct spelling, because I always want to spell it as “Dandilions”. In doing so, I found a website where it discusses that dandelions can be used as a herb for medical treatments. I never knew that before~even if I did, I guess I forgot! It is amazing what these little weedy flowers can be used for:

Dandelion is a rich source of vitamins A, B complex, C, and D, as well as minerals such as iron, potassium, and zinc. Dandelion leaves are used to add  flavor to salads, sandwiches, and teas. The roots are used in some coffee  substitutes, and the flowers are used to make wines.

© 2011 University of Maryland Medical Center (UMMC). All rights reserved. UMMC is a member of the University of Maryland Medical System.
Read more: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/dandelion-000236.htm#ixzz1qpHovTf3

I thought that was interesting, especially when I read about how they were used in different cultures throughout history to treat different illnesses.

…

Another thought about these dandelions–they are not lilies, but this verse came to mind: “…Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you,  even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Matthew 6:28b-29.

I have to admit…I am a dandelion. I am a sinner; God could look at me and say, “Yucky weed!” But instead He sees me as a beautiful lily. He created me and sees the potential in me that I am still trying to find; something like finding use for dandelions in treatments and food. He sees this in every dandelion, not just me. This week as we prepare for the Easter weekend–remembering Christ’s death and resurrection–there is hope for us as dandelions.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8

That is the beauty of the dandelion in me. God does not see me as a sinner, but His child.

More to come…

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March 30, 2012 · 6:33 pm

A pleasant day, indeed!

Today was refreshing. Got to do some laundry, organize my paper clutter of bills and things to do (while getting things done in the process) and I even got to go to the town’s public library. 😀 It was the first time that I stepped foot in there and I thought it was a very studious library! It is not very large, but it presents an adventurous atmosphere of learning, especially for children. I even got a county library card and can’t wait to put it to good use–guess I need to finish the books I have already started!

I am a funny person when it comes to reading books. I think it reflects my personality. I read at least two books at a time; right now I am reading three. Might seem silly, but unless it is absolutely captivating (such as Safely Home by Randy Alcorn or I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp), then I like to switch off and on with books–reading a few chapters a day out of one book and switch to another book the next day. I see this pattern in the way that I go about completing projects or “to do” lists. Some people might say my jumping from one subject or task to another is the same as being distracted. Possibly so, but I like to think of it as following a train of thought, so to speak. Even when I talk in a conversation, the subject at hand will remind me of something else, so I say what I am thinking and then return back to the original conversation. Of course, if I think too fast–I forget my train of thought and then say, “Where was I going with this?” 😀 Relating back to books–see how I am following my train of thoughts, ;)–reading ignites a path for learning. My brain loves learning! However, I am about as picky with my book preferences as I am with my vegetables. I am getting better; as I grow older, I see that my preferences are starting to broaden in what I enjoy reading and even what veggies I eat. 🙂

What kinds of books do you like to read? There are so many aspects of literature: fiction, autobiographies, biographies, history, philosophy, theology, sports, science fiction,  poetry, drama, folktales and myths. fantasy…the list goes on and on!! Thomas Jefferson had a personal library of over 200 books! We saw part of his collection in the Library of Congress in Washington D.C.! I own 2 bookshelves and try to keep my books organized, but somehow I never put them back in the same spot. Jefferson had his library completely organized in relating to what subject the book was about and even had the sections labeled. For example, “Mathematics”, “Philosophy”, “Science” and “Theology” are a few of what I remember he had labeled. There were so many subjects presented! Jefferson once told John Adams in a letter,

“I cannot live without books; but fewer will suffice where amusement, and not use, is the only future object.”

Cappon, Lester J. ed. The Adams-Jefferson Letters. Chapel Hill NC: University of North Carolina Press, 1959. Monticello, Home of Thomas Jefferson, 1988. Thomas Jefferson Foundation, Inc. March 30, 2012 <http://www.monticello.org/site/jefferson/i-cannot-live-without-books-quotation&gt;.

[*A really fascinating website! We visited Monticello when I was in junior high. Very rare piece of history and another favorite is George Washington’s Mount Vernon!]

If you have not noticed by now, history is one of my favorite subjects! If you want statistics, I would say that probably eight out of every ten books that I own is about history. I find any period of history an enjoyment to learn more about and study! (Which is another thing that I am excited for in using my library card: documentaries! :D) I also enjoy biographies, classic works of theology or philosophy and of course, any other books considered to be “timeless classics.” Right now a few classics on my list to read are Utopia by Sir Thomas More, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Moby Dick by Herman Melville and The Arabian Nights: tales from a thousand and one nights by Sir Richard Burton. A few of my favorites already read are A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and Confessions by St. Augustine of Hippo.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but this year I told myself that I would like to see more time spent reading. After I got out of the hospital from the blood clot, I had to sit a lot with my feet up. I read A TON! I finished three books and started a few more! It was so relaxing!

Even Muffy was relaxed! 😀 I find now that my physical body is back to a more normal status, my time is now back to a “busy body” schedule. I miss sitting for hours reading, but at the same time I am very thankful that I don’t have to sit for hours and can get out to enjoy the warm weather–hard to balance between the two. I could read outside I guess. 🙂 Speaking of the outdoors, I must go. It is a lovely evening and I get to spend it with my Dad. More to come…

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March 29, 2012 · 1:45 am

Mercy.

Yesterday was hard. Not physically hard, but emotional. I turned in the keys to my apartment. I loved that place. It was hard to let it go. It was the first time that I have ever had a place on my own. It was in a quiet neighborhood; my patio faced the pond, bonus that it was on the first floor so I did not have to worry about stairs. I even had a garage so I did not have to scrap my car in the mornings and it was only ten minutes from work. I moved in the second week of November 2011, but between chemo every other week plus a family reunion at Thanksgiving, Christmas season work bliss and my sister’s wedding the first weekend of January, I had just officially settled in a few short weeks before the blood clot hit. I spent one night there two weeks ago. That was my last.

The time spent in my apartment, although short, has fun memories. I had enjoyed decorating, especially my 2-foot tree at Christmas. I hung my paintings and had a Greece/Rome corner in my living room which held my books, papers and photos from college days of study and travel. I hosted my little sister and some of her college friends right before finals in December for an evening of Elf (the movie) and snacks. I even gave a speech. 😀 (from Fozziwhig’s Christmas party speech on Muppet’s Christmas Carol!)

Of course, there were other aspects that were not so fun such as killing spiders. One night, I was preparing for the next day. I think it was a chemo weekend, because I was headed over to my parents that night. Anyway, since I don’t own a dresser, I keep my “unspeakables” in a little basket near my shoes. I was just about to grab some socks and the biggest wolf spider crawled out, and fast! I screamed so loud and jumped back as far as I could. It moved and I screamed again. It crawled behind the main bedroom door, so it was either try to run past it and get out in the living room or close the door and be stuck in the same room. I did not want it to go under my bed and it was far too big to kill with my shoe. I knew my Swifter stick was in the hall closet, so I started to move towards the door. Normally I would not do this, but because Dad would not believe me of how big the spider actually was, I took a picture of it. Yes. And it was so disgusting.

After I took my far off picture of the spider behind my door, I think my moving caused it to go out in the hallway. I was shaking and grabbed my Swifter as fast as I could from the closet, because the spider was now in the bathroom. I started hitting the floor with my stick, but kept missing. I have a purple city bathroom theme, so my bathroom mat is a nice dark purple; I am missing the spider every time I hit the floor because I cannot see it. Finally, it crawled off the mat and I hit it. I think I killed it the first time, but just to be sure I hit it a few more times. I have some sort of arachnophobia or something, because I was shaking so bad. I even took a picture of the dead spider just to make myself feel better. Of course I deleted them after I showed my dad. 🙂 I did not want to pick it up with just a kleenex. I got a trash bag to cover my hand and then grabbed several napkins. I threw everything in the trash–spider, napkins and bag. Then washed my hands. 🙂 I tell you–I have a serious spider problem! I packed so fast after that and put all my “unspeakables” in the wash. Such a funny story now, but at the time… I was traumatized. Lesson learned: never keep anything but your shoes on the floor.

I am thankful for the time spent in my apartment. It is a place I know God provided and even if it was only for a short time, I still enjoyed every part of it. It still does not make moving easy. To be honest, I am so confused. In Denver, I seemed to have it all put together. Here it seems like my life is falling apart. I don’t blame God or even ask “Why?” I think God is bringing me to a place in my heart where I can’t control my physical outcomes anymore, so I just have to trust Him to know that His plan is best. Maybe I took too much control in Denver. Even here, I thought I was fine doing things on my own. I am independent, yet my body is slowly becoming dependent. It makes a hard struggle between mind and body.

Most of my struggle the night before was guilt. I have been shown extreme mercy from my apartment complex who said if I turned in my keys by March 31st, then that would be it. No extra fees, nothing. Only God can ordain a situation such as this. I also have merciful parents who let me move back in with them for the time being. The mercy given has made me feel like I need to pay penance or something–prove myself worthy. Dad told me that I put the guilt on myself, because that was not their intentions nor the apartments intentions. I think it is part of my troubled spirit finding peace in the situation. I was still struggling with guilt when I got out of bed in morning. While at work, the song “In Christ Alone” (Townsend and Getty, 2002.) came to mind, especially the last chorus:

No guilt of life, no fear in death–this is the power of Christ in me. From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand. ‘Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.

No guilt in life. God is still working with me in this area. I did not paint this out of guilt, but I did want to show the apartment how grateful I am for their mercy. I could not think of a title. I sat in the car before I went into the office and just stared at the painting. My mom finally suggested Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.” And that is what I put.

So where do I go from here? Not sure. Just praying for direction. My mom gave me these verses today: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6. Seems like the best way to restart the journey.

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March 25, 2012 · 10:14 pm

My new droids.

Howdy. If you are eagerly awaiting the news of my hearing aids–this post is for you! The past few days have been interesting. I am in the process of retraining my brain to hear noise. Cool. And yet sometimes my first reaction is, “This is annoying!” Noise, noise, noise. I feel like the Grinch who hears the noise of Christmas below down in Whoville. 😉 There are exciting noises: I can hear myself breathe. I sound like Darth Vader. 😎 I can hear Muffy meow, purr and chew his food…which I thought was a frog at first. I hear better on the phone, but will still use Sprintcaptel. I have been trying to listen outside for birds, but I have not heard any yet. Communication is better, but that is part of the hardest retraining of the brain. My parents voices sound the same. I can hear the car engine tick…sort of annoying. I can also hear when the refrigerator comes on. When I text or type, I can hear the keys being pushed. And church echoed this morning, so I actually had to turn my hearing aids down. These are just a few things I have noticed. I was told that it will take 3-6 weeks to get used to these new hearing aids, and that it is easier for someone to adjust to new hearing aids if they have never had them before rather than if they switch hearing aids–(which I agree completely, based off experience!)

On my new hearing aids, I have all these settings and options to learn and understand; right now I feel a bit overwhelmed! The strangest habit for me to get used to is the method of how I turn the hearing aids on and off. These are my OLD hearing aids:

The number “4’s” are the volume control. It was always on number four unless there was times where the background noises were excessive. Then I would turn it down. Also, the switch at the bottom is how I turned it on. Imagine a good seven years of turning the switch off and on…now I have to pop the battery in and out. Old habits are hard to break.

Here are my new hearing aids:

This is only the right hearing aid. Both are this new “chestnut-brown” color and the same size. See how the battery is popped out? That means it is off. It might take another seven years to get used to that method. 🙂 These are like R2-D2! These little “droids” make beeping noises when it changes to a different setting and a little song when it turns on. They are also set so that my functions change automatically. For example, when I put the phone up to my ear…it automatically changes my hearing aid into the new setting. I do have the option to have manual settings. The only one I think that I will probably set for manual is the setting which minimizes background noises. I have plenty of time before my follow-up appointment to think about all the settings and my preferences.

Going to sign off for the evening. This past weekend was a big turn of events in many ways, which leaves me right now very exhausted! This morning I thought of Matthew 11:28-29,

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

 Off to make tea, then enjoy some quiet moments reading before I fall asleep. More to come…

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March 22, 2012 · 6:39 pm

“THIS IS SO EXCITING!”

If I had cable, I would only want it for two things: football and ABC’s The Middle. If you have not seen The Middle, I suggest you rent season 1 from Best Buy and start at the beginning. Season 1 is hilarious! The show is about an ordinary family in Indiana–hence “the middle of nowhere”. 😀 Mike and Frankie Heck have three kids: Axl, who would rather play sports than study; Sue, extremely optimistic and tries out for everything but never makes any teams due to some funny issue or lack of talent (until cross-country made the team a “no cut” team); and Brick, six-year-old bookworm with extreme knowledge who whispers to himself. Every episode presents the family in a real life situation…but ends as a family sticking together.

Some of the best quotes come from Sue. She is quite the character!

Sue sees a possibility in every situation. Most often–although her family tries to tell her simple truths she is missing–Sue’s naive and energetic personality does not get the message. For example: Leap Year. Sue’s birthday is on Leap Year and she is ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that she is going to have a surprise birthday party, even though the family tells her that she is not. At one scene, Sue comes in the kitchen where Axl is eating a bowl of cereal. She starts asking Axl if he knows any details of the surprise party. Getting annoyed, Axl takes Sue by the arm and leads her to the basement, telling her to wait there and not to come out–Sue’s not understanding he is playing a big joke, thinks it is real. Axl leaves and there is no one in the house. All you see is an empty kitchen and then Sue says from the basement…”This is so exciting!!! 😀 HA! Best part–they DID forget her birthday and woke her up at 4am singing happy birthday. Thus, she was surprised and thought they were planning it that way the whole time. Her family let her assume so. 😀

I have a surprise for you..no joke! 😉 Tomorrow is a big day; a “THIS IS SO EXCITING!” sort of day!! 😀

I AM GETTING NEW HEARING AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

The hearing aids I have now are 7 years and 3 months old and let me tell you–that is like dog years in comparison to human years…these things are OLD! Every new audiologist that I meet is shocked at the model of my hearing aids, let alone the fact that they work so well. My hearing aids have been maxed out (meaning the highest possible they can go) since spring of 2008 when my right ear collapsed at a chapel. Before that, we had discussed the possibility of getting new hearing aids, but we were not sure how long my hearing would remain after that incident. To be honest, I thought I would be completely Deaf by now. God had other plans as I still have a little hearing left.

Currently, my hearing loss in my left ear is considered severe to profound sensorineural hearing loss and my right ear is considered moderate to profound sensorineural hearing loss. American Speech-Language-Hearing Association defines sensorineural hearing loss:

Sensorineural hearing loss (SNHL) occurs when there is damage to the inner ear (cochlea), or to the nerve pathways from the inner ear to the brain. Most of the time, SNHL cannot be medically or surgically corrected. This is the most common type of permanent hearing loss.

(All Contents Copyright 1997-2011 American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA). All Rights Reserved. http://www.asha.org/public/hearing/sensorineural-hearing-loss/)

My hearing loss obviously comes from the tumors on the Auditory nerves. For the most part, the hearing loss has been gradual–except that spring of 2008. MRI results did not show any growth in the right tumor, so it was assumed that the tumor hardened on the inside. This is why doctor appointments can get frustrating, because I can have new physical symptoms but nothing shows on the scans. I have an MRI and hearing test every 3 months. I have been relatively stable since July 2010. A little prayer goes a long way. 🙂

The only time in these past ten years of NF2 that my hearing ever improved was when I was on the Tarceva chemotherapy pills. That was a happy hearing test!!! Ask my family, I am not a fan of hearing tests. I have to sit and punch the button when I hear the noise. I have such high pitch ringing in my ears that most often I just sit there knowing that I am supposed to be hearing things, but I have difficulty discerning the noises from the ever-present ringing. But most of all, I very much dislike the “word recognition” part of the test. I get asked often if I can hear. Yes, I can hear (with my hearing aids on); however, if I am not reading your lips then you sound Japanese. Words have no meaning if I cannot read your lips. Simple fact: I am fluent in English AND in lip-reading (also American Sign Language, but I lip read so well that I only use ASL and interpreters for church and doctor appointments..or if I chat with a Deaf individual that I meet at stores, etc.)

My current hearing aids have three different settings: Setting 1, I hear everything. Yes, everything. Maybe not quiet things, but there is a constant background murmur! I also hear everything in LOUD proportions. Setting 2 focuses on people who I am talking to and helps to minimize the background noise. Setting 3 is supposed to be for the phone, but when I do call people on http://www.sprintcaptel.com (like a free TTY service), I usually leave my right hearing aid on setting 2. I cannot hear well enough out of my left ear to carry a phone conversation.

If you are a hearing person, what things would you miss hearing the most if you had sudden hearing loss?? Just curious. I miss listening and following along with music; hearing frogs, crickets and birds–even Muffy’s meow!! There are other things: communication with little kids or just my family in general, especially in night car rides or star-gazing chats on the grass. Watching TV or movies with no captions; my grandparents calling me at 7am on Saturday mornings to chat about life and current events; listening to the radio (we grew up on Adventures in Odyssey!!) and hearing sirens, such as police cars, firefighters or smoke detectors. Thankfully, modern technology allows me to have an amazing alarm clock that uses a flashing light and vibrator to coordinate with fire alarms and door bells. I do not use the alarm sound anymore, but the vibrator and light work just fine for me! 😀 Here it is:

See the yellow button? There is a connection at the back for a lamp. So when you have the lamp plugged into the alarm, you turn the light on by pressing the yellow button. The volume and tune knobs are if you want the alarm sound adjusted. On the right side where there are words: the top is “outlets”, which allows you to choose your wake up preferences. I set the combo of vibrator and light. The bottom is for the vibrator. You can choose steady or pulse. My favorite is pulse, because otherwise it feels like a steady head massage. 😀

I will say one quick note on having hearing aides…whenever my ears get tired of hearing, I just take them out. Instant silence. I realize that I have come to a place in life where I actually enjoy a few hours of silence. In silence, I like observing; I like focusing without being distracted by other noises; I like singing songs in my head or have a conversation with God. Sometimes God seems silent. Like Elijah, I expect to see or hear God in big ways (Elijah looked for God in the wind, earthquake and fire); He came in “A still small voice” (I Kings 19:11-12.) God has done incredible things in my life right down to the little details. Even today, another specific prayer was answered. When I tune into God–not distracted by the noises of the world–even in my deafness, I can hear His still small voice–the voice of Truth–say, “This one’s mine.”

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/castingcrowns/voiceoftruth.html 

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mercyme/spokenfor.html

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March 20, 2012 · 12:05 am

Seeing Spring.

First Day of Spring!!

“Who is this cute kid”, you might be asking??? Well, don’t be disappointed, but it is ME!! 😀 Yep, this is me about 5 years of age. Notice my 😎 (red circle glasses). Try not to laugh, but I still have them in a case safely stored in my special box. 🙂 Now, a few things you should know about these red spectacles: they were my first glasses!! Pretty big deal! To keep these on my ears (my ears are tiny!!), the frames around my ears went almost a full circle. I got asked often if I had my ears pierced, because the little gold tip came just around the bottom of my ear for people to see. 🙂 I thought it was a great fashion accessory at the time!! (That or my Grandma’s clip on earrings.) Those cool frames started to break apart around the ears, so until I got my new frames (which were not so cute…they were MEGA frames!!), my Mom put band aides on them to hold them together. Yes, the band aides are still there today!! Imagine someone finding these glasses 50 years from now–they might be antiques…band aids and all!

Without my glasses, everything is blurry. Blurry reminds me of the future. Even Star Wars uses the future as a main part of the plot. In Episode III, Anakin is having visions about Padme, which he interprets that she is dying…so in order to save her, he gave into the Dark Side of the Force because of his fears. Yet it did not save her (in fact he killed her in his anger). Contrast, in Episode V, Luke has visions of his friends in Cloud City. He asked Yoda if they would die. Yoda says, “Hard to see. Always in motion is the future.” Classic line, but also true!

Just like when I take my eyes off Jesus, my vision gets blurry. Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” The future never turns out like I imagine–sometimes worse, sometimes better. I had a blurry moment yesterday. I was talking with my Mom and just realized that I am still not where God wants me to be. It is a constant learning process for me and right now I am in a dry spot. It is like green grass trying to grow underneath the dead grass. My plans I have been hoping for since the blood clot are turning out very different from I would have liked…not that it is a bad turnout, just my stubborn heart won’t accept the changes, which God could use for good. My Mom really encouraged me again to keep walking by faith.

There is a song by Nichole Nordeman, called “Every Season.” She sings about how she sees God in all the seasons of the earth. She starts with summer, then fall, winter, then ends in spring. Her lyrics of Spring always give me the goosebumps. Why? Because she twists her lyrics to relate the seasons to her heart. Our hearts have seasons of change. This spring especially, I see that my heart is in a season of change…coming out of winter and into spring.

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

There are still going to be dry spots in my life. The blossoms are starting to appear, but growing slow. Best source of nutrition is the Word and in prayer, both of which God has convicted my heart that I need to do more of every day. Sort of like spring cleaning, but like my Mom told me yesterday–God is not going to just throw me out..he will see me to the end of every season. Lucky me, spring just started. 🙂

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March 17, 2012 · 11:11 pm

St. Patrick’s Day

In light of the holiday, I want to share my favorite Celtic music with you. Irish-born, Marie Brennan (she now goes by Moya Brennan and her sister is Enya) uses a modern Celtic worship in her albums. Perfect Time is a personal favorite. Her lyrics are beautiful and some songs are phrased in Irish with a choir.

This cd is very relaxing and I listened to it often when I was in college, using it as study music. Her song “The Light on the Hill” is about St. Patrick and his call to go back to Ireland.

Low Ro Ho Ro

Glór na Gael (The Irish voice)

Low Ro Ho Ro

Éist le glór Dé (Listen to God’s voice)

A sea journey takes him across

Takes our hero across

With the word in his heart

Lonely he prayed on the hill

Night and day a hundred times

A hundred times and more

And the voice He heard calling

To plant the light of life

The light on the hill

Low Ro Ho Ro

Glór na Gael (The Irish voice)

Low Ro Ho Ro

Éist le glór Dé (Listen to God’s voice)

Low Ro Ho Ro

Glór na Gael (The Irish voice)

Low Ro Ho Ro

Éist le glór Dé (Listen to God’s voice)

A mission of faith sounds the bell

Brought a holy man with dreams

With his dreams for this Island

Letters he left to declare

This was his promised land

It’s the land that was chosen

The voice And his message

Still lives a thousand years

A thousand years and more

Low Ro Ho Ro

Glór na Gael (The Irish voice)

Low Ro Ho Ro

Éist le glór Dé (Listen to God’s voice)

St. Patrick’s life is a genuine reminder of following God’s will, even to places where you least expect (or desire). St. Patrick, as a young adult, was captured from his home and taken to serve as a slave (herdsman) in Ireland for six years. He escaped, returned home, and became a priest. Read more about his story here: http://janegrey.hubpages.com/hub/Life-and-Confession-of-St-Patrick. What I find most fascinating about his life is that upon his return home, God prepared him to go back to Ireland–to those who held him captive. What a story of forgiveness! He returned and it was not easy at first–you can google and links to stories (some legends) are available to see that St. Patrick’s mission was not easy. (Here is a link that I enjoyed reading. http://janegrey.hubpages.com/hub/St-Patricks-Story-and-Confession-Evangelism-of-Ireland). God worked in amazing ways by a single act of obedience in St. Patrick’s life.

Did you know that St. Patrick used a shamrock to illustrate to the Irish people the concept of the Trinity. The little plant has three leaves, yet one plant. Same with the three persons of the Trinity–God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit–yet they are One.

 Shamrocks look like Fleur-de-lis, which I use as various forms of decoration for my apartment. Fleur-de-lis is a French symbol. Although Wikipedia is not always the best source, it holds a lot of interesting history about pretty much everything. As I read the history about the Fleur-de-lis, I came across these statements:

According to French historian Georges Duby, the three leaves represent the medieval social classes: those who worked, those who fought and those who prayed.

As a religious symbol it may represent the Trinity[.]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleur-de-lis

I think the history of the Fleur-de-lis is quite fascinating and gives me a deeper appreciation for the art. I do not consider it an icon or anything, I just find the styles and colors beautiful as there are many different versions of the art. I wanted to end my post with something Irish, so I googled “Irish proverbs” and this was the best source I found: http://tacomaweekly.tripod.com/Irish-Quotations.html. My favorite says,

May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields and, Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand .

🙂

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March 17, 2012 · 12:45 am

Trees, trees, trees.

I just love trees!! The spring weather is in the air which means the tree buds and leaves are starting to peek out with new color. I took some pictures the other day of the pretty blossoms on these certain trees. I am not sure what kind of tree…our best idea was some sort of crabapple? None the less, they are beautiful!

Can you see the little hairs coming off the blossom? Almost reminds me of raspberries on a tree. 🙂 Have you ever read Shel Silverstein’s book, The Giving Tree? I think it is a neat story about giving of yourself to show love to others. I remember first reading that book in elementary school and crying at the end. (If you have not noticed by now–I am a very emotional person. 🙂 )

Silverstein’s book made me think…what do I like most about trees or need most from trees? To answer the first part of the question, I like the shade trees give on a sunny day; watching birds; standing near the trunk of the tree and looking upwards into the sky–the tree branches mingled with each other creating an artistic abstract of dark solid features against the sky; and their radiance when the sun shines on the leaves or seeing the treetops sway from the wind, yet their base is standing still. I think the obvious needs are oxygen and products I use every day, such as paper or sitting on wooden chairs at my wooden table. My need for the trees is small compared to animals like birds, squirrels, and bears to name a few (or in other places: monkeys, snakes, and jaguars 🙂 ) Interesting to think about from a different perspective.

I also like C.S. Lewis’ and J.R.R Tolkien’s view of trees. In both Narnia and the Lord of the Rings, trees are used as a living expression. In Narnia, the trees dance, send messages to each other and some spy for the White Witch. In Lord of the Rings, the “Ents” help destroy Isengard. I often wonder if these two scholars had any verses from the Bible in mind when they were creating the trees for their novels. Isaiah 55:12 says, “…all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Neat! 🙂

I am still uncertain of how this verse came to my attention, but it is what I based this painting upon:

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. ~Jeremiah 17:7-8

Trees are beautiful anywhere you travel! Here are a 2 favorite pictures of trees from different places:

Washington D.C.–Cherry Blossoms. The trees literally made a little “cove” feeling that was shaded from the sun.

Book fair in Athens, Greece! Can you see the trees? The leaves are purple! They were lovely!

And now my embarrassing pictures. I love Fall–when the leaves are on the ground. Time for jumping in the leaves!

Sadness, I cannot jump and thus, pictures end up like this:

HA, HA, HA 😀 There you have it!

More to come…

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March 14, 2012 · 8:51 pm

2 Corinthians 5:7

On my birthday, my parents gave me Jeremy Camp’s book, I Still Believe: Discovering hope and healing in the midst of life’s deepest valleys. Now, I have to warn you that I might be all over the place with the post as so many thoughts are in my head right at the moment. Hang in there and I will try to make sense of all this in what I have to say.

I had already started a book called, The Lost Letters of Pergamum, which is extremely fascinating (more about that later I assure), and because I wanted to finish the book before I started any others, I just put the Jeremy Camp book under my Bible to save for later. A few days after when I got in bed, I just could not resist reading the first chapter…I can never read just one chapter if the book is compelling! A few chapters later, I found myself flooded over with memories from ten years ago.

In his book, Jeremy Camp tells his testimony and recaps the journey of his first wife’s battle with cancer in early 2000-2001 along with his healing process and how God led him on a journey to meet his wife now, Adie (former Benjamin Gate lead singer). Back up ten years when I first heard about Jeremy Camp, his first album, Stay, had just been released September 24, 2002.

If you read my “What is NF2 page” you will note that this is before November when I first discovered the NF2 disease. Well, back up a few months to end of August 2002, CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) magazine had a two-page story about Jeremy Camp and his late wife’s testimony. I was so absorbed in the story, by the end, I was in tears. I knew I wanted to get his cd and hear the songs that he had talked about in the article.

October 2002, I finally got my braces off and on the way home, my Mom and I stopped by the Family Christian Book Store in Colorado Springs to get a few new cd’s–Stay was obviously one of them. As we enjoyed a few hours of music on the way home, I noticed I was drawn to Jeremy Camp’s album. It is rock and I liked that, but most important, I was drawn to the lyrics of 2 songs in particular: “Walk by Faith” and “I Still Believe.” Over the next month, I quickly memorized the lyrics to all the songs on the album not realizing how much that his songs were going to help me in my darkest hour. Then November 18th came. That night after we called grandparents and a few of my closest friends, I sat down just overwhelmed with emotions and confusion. I put on Jeremy Camp’s cd and for the next few weeks after that, it never left my cd player.

In April 2003, my oldest sister’s college invited me to their campus as they were hosting Jeremy Camp for an evening of worship. My sister had shared my story with many of her friends and they knew how much Jeremy Camp’s music had impacted my walk with the Lord during the hard physical and emotional battles. Because I had just finished my six weeks of radiation and was catching up on my school work, I was not able to attend. I was so bummed. I cried!!

God provided another concert in Denver, May 2003 at the West Bowles Community Church. [Just a funny side note–I pronounce things wrong a lot but some of the funniest were when I did not have my hearing aids. For example…West Bowles (Bowles pronounced as in a bowl used for eating…)–I pronounced it as West BowELS. Oh the laughs from my family could not be contained on that one! 🙂 ) Anyway, we headed up to Denver to pick up my sister from the airport and went to the concert. By this time, Jeremy Camp had just asked Adie to marry him, and she was there that evening. Reading the book now, I see the journey of healing for him and hope that God gave him in his relationship with Adie. Truly an encouraging and inspiring story that I was not aware of at the time of the concert. The line to talk with Jeremy Camp in person was endless, but it was a time I will never forget. I was able to share with him about how God used his music to encourage me when I first discovered the news of NF2. My family and I got to pray with him which was really special. The next morning was a Sunday, so we went to the morning worship service where Jeremy led worship and told more of his testimony. It was an incredible time!

I want to refocus on present day. It has been quite a while since I have heard of anything going on in Jeremy Camp’s life. I had just learned that he had a book coming out a few weeks before my birthday, and surprise, it was my birthday present. The thing is, I know it is God timed. Think about it (or as Star Wars would say, “Search your feelings, you know this to be true.” 🙂 ). I KNOW it is God timed. God timed Jeremy’s first cd to release a few days short of 2 months before the MRI results–the impact of the songs speaking truth about our walk with God is something that helped bring peace when all this started. Now, ten years later, Jeremy’s book releases exactly one month AFTER my blood clot. It was actually the week of February 19-25th that I hit a wall-not just physically and emotionally–but spiritually. I was angry and could not see any hope. To be honest, I am still struggling. I don’t have it all together yet…but that is why I am relating to this book, because we don’t have to have it all together–we just have to walk by faith. I am still not sure why God had this blood clot happen right when I was settled and doing so well…but I will never know here on earth and that is what Jeremy Camp’s book has reminded me–“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1.

This book has really encouraged me and, most importantly, reminded me that God is with me every step of the way. He knows my hurt, my frustrations and my sorrows. Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33). If you have anyone that you know–or maybe even yourself– that is in need of encouragement, I really recommend this book. My story is my own story of how God has used Jeremy Camp’s testimony to encourage me not once, but twice, in my life. Maybe God will use it to encourage and bring hope to others as well. 🙂  God does amazing work in our time of greatest need…sometimes all we need is a little reminder and a point back towards the right direction. I leave you with my favorite song, “Walk by Faith” by Jeremy Camp.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3rP_3xAKi8

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March 11, 2012 · 6:23 pm

“All I want is to be in the Light.”

Daylight Saving Time. Did you miss it? Don’t worry about raising your hand if you did, because I would not see it anyway. 🙂 Last night, I watched just a tad of National Treasure to relax. It was on TV, so I could tell where they cut lines out (not as cool as the real deal movie), so I did not watch anymore past the part where they go to Independence Hall for the “retro specs.” 🙂 In the movie, Riley tells Ben and Abigail about Daylight Saving Time. This made me curious, so I decided to look it up and see when it first started. Of course, National Treasure quotes that Benjamin Franklin was the first to propose Daylight Saving Time– and it’s true (I figured it would be, but just had to be certain.)

I found the official website for Daylight Saving Time: http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving. I started clicking around and found some information about Benjamin Franklin. Franklin was in Paris at the time–I assume most likely when he was serving as the U.S. ambassador. He was very sick and getting older in years, so much time was spent at his house. Franklin had attended a demonstration about a new oil lamp and went home thinking. Soon after, he noted the sun rising earlier (well, he had noted this for quite a while and had been writing it down in a record journal). Thus, he wrote an article, called An Economical Project, which was “a discourse on the thrift of natural versus artificial lighting,” (http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/franklin.html, 2008 by IDEA). I think that Benjamin Franklin was a very wise, practical, and resourceful man. Of course, Daylight Saving Time did not get put into full effect until WWI, but I think that Franklin’s intent on saving energy is no different from today. We do not use oil lamps, but we pay light and gas bills, so it is relatively the same context of using daylight hours to save energy and resources. I am no “early to bed, early to rise” person, so I cannot point any fingers at people wasting energy. 😀 Anyway, the whole history and topic is quite interesting! If you want some more great links from the website, I found these fascinating:

http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/c.html

http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/franklin.html 

http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/e.html

*MUST READ!! 😀 http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/franklin3.html

Aside from Daylight Saving Time, I must say that I do not like the dark. Nope. Not at all! Not so much that it scares me, more the fact that I have the worst balance in the dark and I cannot read people’s lips in the dark. Car rides are extremely frustrating for me when they are in the dark! My family turns on the small car light so I can read lips, or the favorite–using their cell phone to light up their face–but I still miss a lot of conversation.

My balance problems are a result of my hearing loss. Back when I was a kid, I struggled with weak ankles, but totally could play games like Kick the Can out in the dark with my sisters and friends. Have you ever played Kick the Can? What a game!!! We lived in the country, so no street lights were around our area which made the night a deep pitch-black dark. I liked this most in the moments on clear nights with no moon. We would take out blankets and gaze at the stars and talk. We could see part of the Milky Way from our yard…just being lost in the gaze of stars made me realize how small I really am compared to the universe.

Anyway, back to Kick the Can–you play in pitch darkness! You want to even wear black or dark clothes, because the whole point of the game is like Hide and Seek with a few twists. Someone is selected to be the “it” person (You know, “You’re it.”) 🙂 They count to say a hundred somewhere while everyone hides. The point of this game is to hide so that you cannot be found. If the “it” person finds you, they have to say, “Bang ______”. That blank is your name. If they say the correct name then that person goes to jail, but if the name is incorrect, they do not move until either the correct name is said or they just go on searching for others. If you get in jail, then you start yelling for people to come get you out. You do no want the “it” person to get everyone in jail, because then whoever was put first in jail is now the new “it” person. Make sense so far? Good. 😀

Now, the fun part begins when someone gets in jail. The can has already been placed in the yard at a specific spot where everyone knows, usually close to the set jail area (our jail was the back patio). When the person(s) in jail start yelling for help, you have the option to help them by attempting to literally kick the can without being caught. If the “Bang ____” is said before you kick the can, then you go to jail with the others. If not, then you yell out, “HOME FREE!!!!!” Thus, resulting in all jail inmates running back into hiding while the “it” person has to find the can and place it back into the designated spot in the yard. This is such a fun game!! We loved playing with friends or cousins when they came to visit.

One last thing before I close for the day–it is, of course, something related to music. 🙂 I grew up on oldies and I loved it!! Anyway, I am sure you have never heard of Charlie Peacock. If you have, applause to you!! Don’t feel guilty if you have not, but then maybe you have heard of dc Talk?? Ah yes!!! Classic times in the contemporary Christian music industry when they were a band! dc Talk sang a song, called “In the Light”, on their Jesus Freak album.

If you are wondering the connection between Charlie Peacock, dc Talk and “In the Light”, well, Charlie Peacock wrote it for his Love Life album (1991).

Yes this is extremely old, but serious, a really good cd!! (My Dad will be proud of me saying so). Anyway, dc Talk sings his song and it is my favorite version. The song is about God’s Light and the desire to be IN His Light and salvation. One of my favorite songs ever!!!

I found a YouTube video of dc Talk singing the song during a concert. I encourage you to listen to the song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWq1XYxtlRs

Enjoy an extra hour of sunshine!! More to come…

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