Tag Archives: reading the Bible

Thoughts on Paper

I’ve been a bit distracted lately. Not in a bad way, it just seems to be that I would rather have my nose in a book than anything else. After finishing a few chapters at breakfast, I got up to start the rest of my day–randomly, I laughed out loud as I pictured the scene from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast where Gaston is talking to Belle about having her nose in books…

Gaston: How can you read this? There’s no pictures!

Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.

Although books do cause my imagination to stir, most of what I read just enables me to think. Think deeply. I am not sure why I have taken a strong passion to reading so much over the past few months. The only “explainable” proposition I came up with in my mind a few days ago was that reading is a place where I hear everything. All the thoughts on paper: I don’t miss a word. There is no lack of communication, no frustrations in lip-reading, because I am in the conversation in reading the thoughts the author has penned on paper, like a conversation flowing.

Almost ironic as it sounds, becoming a more avid reader, I have seen myself emerge out of the “silent-reader-shell,” and start conversations about what I read, whether it is in person or through social media sites, such as Good Reads. So, I suppose the greatest question I have been asking is simply,”Where is this going?” This new passion of reading, sharing, learning, growing: It’s the start of something. The passion kindles–it’s exciting, and I am ready to discover more of what lies ahead.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. ~Psalm 119:105

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Filed under Books and Movies, Uncategorized

I’m still here.

This morning was dark, rainy and grey. And the coffee had coffee grinds at the bottom of the pot. I sat at the table just sort 0f staring out the window. Even two cups of coffee wasn’t helping much in getting me awake, not that it works that instant anyway. Mornings are my favorite time of day: my typical routine usually means getting breakfast, than enjoying coffee with my morning readings. But this morning my mind was just wandering. Then I thought of something funny in terms of my cups of coffee and lack of writing blog posts this week–in a name: Cryin’ Bryan Dern.

I can’t speak for my sisters, but if someone asked me what our favorite pastime was while growing up, I would place listening to Adventures in Odyssey as the number one candidate. In the summers, we could spend hours listening to episodes on cassette tape while coloring or doing crafts; Mom would eventually tell us “One more episode then you need to go outside.” During the school year, we would listen to the episodes at 6pm over the radio. It was always when Mom was cooking dinner; when she used the hand mixer (yes, the old-school kind) it would make the radio have bad static (it already did anyway.) Buzzz…”Mom!!!!!!!” Poor Mom–even if it was an episode we had heard before, the static confusion seemed like a traumatic event and would result in this unanimous outcry.

I had a few favorite episodes, but one that stands out in my mind..that I thought of this morning…is titled, “Top This!” In the episode, there are two story lines: Courtney’s cousin comes to Odyssey to visit for a few weeks. The two cousins, who have a history of competition against each other, embark on an unintentional “race” to see who can make the most money in fundraisers for church youth camp. Losing focus on the real reason for the fundraisers, Mr. Allen helps Courtney learn to not focus on her own winning, but being humble towards her cousin and supporting her when she “wins” just by letting her win.

The second story line involves the outspoken radio host, Cryin’ Bryan Dern. The Odyssey 105 is in need of votes in order to save the station. Bryan Dern sets up this gig in which he takes over the studio and turns the Odyssey 105 into a 24-hour Polka station. As soon as the public hears about Dern “taking the Odyssey 105 station hostage,” the votes begin to pour in–even though it is all fake. It is during this time, Dern has some of the best quotes. And I thought of a few this morning that made me laugh.

Over the course of his 95 hours on the air, Dern gives away countless amounts of Polka cd’s while he starts to get annoyed with the music himself. By the end, with his coffee enthusiasm long gone (in his 25th hour on the air, he already had gone with 30 cups of coffee), Dern goes on to have a moment of silence for a caller’s sick hamster named “Binky;” thinks that Polka music needs something–like, words; and eventually gives up the whole gig altogether when he can no longer think or see straight. I am not as crazy as Dern, but for some odd reason, his question over the air in his final hours– “Whaddaya wanna do?”–somewhat reflected how I felt this week about writing blog posts.

It is not that I’ve had nothing–my week was full of typical tasks that most often I overdid myself. It is as if this “normal routine,” without any doctor appointments or major health slides, has left me with a sense of urgency: to do it all, before anything comes up again. In reality, that attitude will only last me like Bryan Dern’s 95 hours on the air, because there is no foundation if I stand on my own.

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” ~Proverbs 19:21 ESV

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Filed under Family Times, Funny Stories, Random, Uncategorized

A Fresh Look

I don’t know if this is something hairdressers learn in their training schools, but how they can take a woman who comes in the hair salon looking like she just got out of bed (which I practically did) and have her leave feeling completely fresh is beyond me. This was my morning.

I woke around 8am. To get my day started, I did my physical therapy exercises and then planned to read a little over breakfast. The latter never happened. Mom found me asleep on my exercise mat at 9:15am…late for my chemo dose, I scramble to the kitchen and take my medicines, cram in a bowl of cereal, fill my Tervis of coffee and then head out the door. I get in the car and state, “I think chemo is making me more tired.” I think it is true.

My body changing quickly over the past few weeks has set me in a place where I have been going through insecurities about my physical state, especially the beauty aspect of it. It is easy to hear, “You are beautiful!”, but look in the mirror and see the opposite. Lies also wear you down…they make you tired. I was at this point a few evenings ago. After dinner, I decided to devote my evening just to reading with a cup of peppermint tea to help my sickly-stomach feeling. A few chapters later in my book, I come across this verse:

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

I went to my bathroom mirror and excitedly wrote the verse with a purple dry erase marker. The verse does not say, “You are beautiful!”, but I think it is implied. Choosing to believe it is now like a fresh look at the day…will I leave empty or satisfied?

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Random, Uncategorized