A New Course (turned upside down)

You’ve probably read the stories before…

Someone’s life is changed forever, turned upside down, and in it all—they continued to breathe, for at times that seemed the only possible. Yet living within the new walls of change, they strain in tears to carry on…a new path to be taken, a new mindset (perspective of priorities), renewing a sense of purpose while clinging to hope.

This, my friends, has been my past two weeks…but my story is still somewhere in the mist of all the change; it is still tossed by waves of frustration, loneliness and darkness. I am waiting for Jesus to speak, “Peace be still.” and rebuke the wind and waves…but He asks of me, where is my faith? I must answer that question and cling to hope—yes, God is bigger than my current woes and yes, it is okay to struggle through them.

The last week of February, one day before my friend was to visit for the weekend, I fell in the night as I entered the bathroom…not to say that the fall initially changed everything (because signs of left leg not holding weight had appeared here and there previous), but at that night, I entered full dependency.

Of course, this did not change me and Calli’s plans. We were college roommates and enjoyed looking at pictures from those days, a chocolate chip pancake brunch, reading, showing her around the area and a snow day, in which we painted. Crying when she was leaving that Monday, I told her, “God knew I needed you here.” We all did and as she left, my sister Megan arrives, then all the rest of my family over the weekend…and I held my sweet little nephew, until my arms fell off.

Yet my body continues to spiral, down. It has changed everything—it is not just my eyes or hands or intestines or legs and feet, but it all and that is where I feel overwhelmed. It has changed the way we communicate, responsibilities, daily life. I can no longer walk by myself, use the bathroom and do other hygiene by myself, let alone all from before anyway; most of all, vision. I am now as dependent on my magnified glass as I am my walker and others. That is the physical, but what I am challenged more so, is the mental. Realizing what I want to do and finish might already be complete in God’s eyes, thus He leads a new path.

I don’t understand yet what my calling is as I journey ahead—it is something that I am seeking, learning in new perspective…in the pain and sadness and confusion.

The hope in the storm: God answers. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “A New Course (turned upside down)

  1. Julie smith

    Prayers and god’s healing light are coming your way. You as a faith filled person know that god’s healing light might mean different things for different people. Breathe in and breathe out! It will be shown to you in time.

  2. christi Ramsay Rowe

    Our Lord is walking for you…Peace Be With You..!!

    • Debby

      Melanie,

      You are such a sweet and dear young woman. I admire your faith in our Lord. I am ashamed when I complain about my aches. I will continue to pray for you. One day there will be a cure to end NF! I only wish it would have been 20 years ago.

    • Debby

      I am sorry, I have always called you Melanie..I don’t know why. Please, forgive me, Melinda!

  3. Kim Jenerette

    Melinda, I am amazed at your faith and the apparent ease at which you share your thoughts …. you are a psalmist, whom I am greatly encouraged as I read your writings … calling on the Lord in your distress, fully placing your faith in Him …

    Happy birthday (again) and we are glad you were able to spend time with Calli, your sisters, and Landon ….

    We love you.

    Uncle Kim and Aunt Lisa

  4. Tony McLeland

    Melinda, You truely are an inspiration to so many. It saddens us to hear of your increasing difficulties. We continue to pray for you and your family.
    Tony & Molly P.S. I still Love my painting!

  5. Catherine Aviles

    Melinda:

    You are blessing to many! I loved spending some time with you recently. Hope your birthday celebration was special with your family!

    In Christ,

    Cathy Aviles

  6. Dustin Hughes

    “Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever.” Daniel 12:3

    You occupy a bright place in many of our lives and the Lord is working through and in you, Melinda.

    Love,
    Dustin & Mindy

  7. estherbentonmorford

    Melinda, you are such a blessing to all of us who know you. I pray for God’s peace and comfort to surround you as you face the unknown future. I love you very much, and have such fond memories of the Pinkerton girls and piano lessons.

  8. Mindy Hughes

    I have been praying for you physically, mentally, and spiritually ……. and especially for what God has in store for you – words cannot say how much you have blessed me and others! Thank you soo much!!!

    Mindy Hughes

  9. Janelle Lanning

    The hard eucharisteo. Eucharisteo is the whisper of the Lord’s voice this week. When I walk into my room and see your HOPE flower painting and your painting of the world, I think of the hands that painted. HOPE will forever remain. The world will not. Your voice is heard Melinda.

  10. Lisa Jenerette

    I read in your blog the frustrations you face, but you would never know it when someone is physically with you. You are always so positive and happy. When I am with you, I look past your struggles you encounter and just enjoy listening to you. You are a joy to be with and have quite the sense of humor. Continue to keep your focus on Him knowing he has you in the place he wants you. Thank you for being so open and sharing what is on your heart.

    Love you Melinda,
    Lisa Jenerette

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