(To Merlin:) Mr. Fish, did you die?
Dory: Sorry I was a little vague on the details.
That line in Finding Nemo always makes me laugh. The good news is that I did not die. No jellyfish stings either. The bad news is that I currently sit in Children’s hospital with a massive blood clot in my left leg. The ultrasound yesterday showed it goes from my pelvis area where it was the last time down to my lower calf. I also was having hard breathing/shortness of breath so yesterday I also had a CAT scan which showed a small clot in the left lung. Thus, I have another ultrasound today at 1:30 to see how far up the blood clot goes, because it is possible (highly likely) that it is in my stomach. The decisions for everything else after that are based on what the ultrasound shows.
How did this happen? Not sure. Could be many things, even just having the chronic constipation problems could be a factor. There is a lot to weigh in. How did my past 48 hours go? Well, very random. Mom and I were just here on Tues. morning for a follow-up appointment with my doctor about what happened over Christmas. I knew my constipation was coming back but felt normal. When we got home after dinner, my stomach started to inflame again. Felt like a huge boulder in my stomach…just felt sick so I just sat and watched some movies and did a small load of laundry. By the time my laundry was done, just walking around the house was a chore. I was so out of breath and just felt nauseous. I did get to sleep after a few runs to the bathrooom, but was not feeling much better in the morning. Standing for more than few minutes just wore me out and turned my feet a nice shade of blueish-black. I had had pressure on my back and legs the night before, but when it started getting worse in my left calf I asked my mom to look at my feet.
I know this is God’s timing, because my dad never comes home for lunch just to say hello, but since he was there he checked my feet and called my doctors. That is when they ordered the ultrasound so that way they could eliminate anything if there was not a huge problem. But in doing so they found the problem. So, God’s timing again, was just so perfectly ordianed. I just can’t fathom it sometimes. Sure, this is upsetting. I cried yesterday and just had a hard time. After spending a whole day in the ER there in Xenia, they transported me by ambulance around 10:30 to Children’s. As I lay in the back by myself, a song came to mind. “With Every Breath”. I took comfort:
When the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky)
You can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes)
When you’re weak, He is strong
He can heal your wounded soul
And calm the storm inside
For all your times of laughter
In every hopeful prayer
When the world weighs on your shoulders
Through sorrow and your despair
With everything, with every breath, praise the Lord.
And that is where I am right now. I am not in pain, which they are happy to hear. I just have to have patience and will have to continue to pray for guidance in the important decisions ahead and for doctor’s to have wisdom. My parents are here with me, so that is comfort too. 😀 For now that is all. My ultrasound is soon, so I am signing off.
*”With Every Breath.” City on a Hill. Sixpense None the Richer/Jars of Clay. Provident Music Distribution, 2000.