Tag Archives: patience

Dial tones

Talking on the telephone is not my forte. Let me clarify this: talking to anyone that is not a family or friend is not my forte. It is not social ungraceness on my part (my pride rings in there), but rather, it is lack of understanding. On the receiver end, they lack patience or clarity of how my Captel phone works (though it is the first thing I explain); on my end, it is the words…I sit in delay. And today’s phone call to my pharmacy definitely proved this to be true.

Timely communication. In our fast-paced world, we expect it. And when you face the untimely pair–Deaf person and the automatic voice communicator spouting number options in order to connect the call to a different line, when I just want to talk to a human being), it confuses the system. And when you’re the one on the slower end, it can get to you…very much like the feeling when your “taking too much time paying as fast as you can in the grocery store line.” We can’t handle untimeliness.

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Over the years, I have had many interesting phone conversations while using Sprint Captel online: some calls I literally yelled at the receiver end as their lack of patience exposed my own lack of patience and anger; others I cried, still others I had a pleasant chat. Then I just stopped all phone communication. When I finally restarted, using the Captel land-line phone, it felt like re-learning communication. Dad and I made some test calls; I was so nervous. But the feeling didn’t last long. How could it?, when I finally was able to call my grandparents. 😀

Being Deaf, I could choose to use untimely communication in life as crutch. I would rather use it as a staff, moving forward and learning lessons.

I must speak simply and clearly. Find me alone, and I tend to over talk. It even shows in my writing. Everything must have an explanation. I must define, describe and be known. I want to be heard,  but sometimes being heard means meekness.

Slow conversation doesn’t have to be a hindrance. In fact, it can be enjoyable. Here’s why: when I am waiting for my words to be encrypted, I have to “listen” and even though I can’t hear the voice over the line or timely lip-read, I am processing what the person is saying without thinking of my next “sudden response.” When I sit in a person-to-person chat or talk on Skype, the timely communication effects this “think-while-silent process.” It goes in full reverse, focusing back on myself. When I focus on others, I receive more joy.

Untimely calls can make a difference in someone’s day. And in return, it blesses mine.

 

 

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Family Times, Uncategorized

The Start of Something.

It is here. The start of something. I go outside and I breath in. Fresh air! Crisp! The start of Autumn has begun. The trees are feeling it too. They are beginning to change color. Although it is not immediate, it is the start of something.

So in life, I see the same with prayer. The start of something. Prayer is an immediate message to God. But His answers are not always as fast. Patience, endurance, hope. The answers come in as a start of something. A start of something greater than ever imagined.

People pray for my healing. And now I am praying for a loved one’s healing. And even though it has only been a week for her compared to my ten years, I find myself already getting frustrated. Why can’t God just hear our prayers and heal her? Then I think of all those who have prayed for me diligently for the past ten years. Some everyday. I wonder if they have ever asked the same question. But they continue to pray anyway…even when they cannot see any results of healing.

The leaves will continue to change their color until the last has fallen. How can a single leaf survive the harvest winds? Patience, God’s timing is perfect. Endurance, God will never give us more than we can bear. Hope, God holds our future. And I begin to feel it. The start of something. Peace–like fresh, crisp Autumn air to my soul. And I long for more.

 

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Filed under Random, Uncategorized