Category Archives: Paintings

Green.

I was not very hungry, but decided I should eat something. Seems like most Sunday evenings a bowl of cereal does indeed suffice for dinner. I did not want cereal, but something. I remembered I had avocados in the refrigerator. An avocado with sea salt. My cousin really is a genius. She recommended the combination. Simply delicious! I usually don’t have a hard time cutting the avocados or getting the contents out, but today was different. At one point, the avocado flies out of my hand and rolls down the countertop. If I was bowling, I could have claimed a strike. My avocado landed precisely in a cup full of water in the sink. Soggy avocado. At least the outside was, but the inside was still good. Fresh. Sprinkled Drowned with sea salt. Ripe olive-green.

I have been thinking about the color green lately. Now that the winter days are almost over, I can see highlights of green starting to grow in the grass. Nothing huge, but there is green. It is not fully brown like it once was. Spring is green. Growth, new life.

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Green is a blend, a mixture of strong blue and soft yellow. It’s personalities resemble both primary colors. Green is energizing…green is active. Green is for everyday purposes: “Ready,” “Go.” You cannot just sit and watch a garden toil on its own…you must work the soil. Planting, weeding, watering, yielding the crops.  It is culture, deed, tasteful, nurturing, becoming.

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Yet green is passive. It “fills in the spaces,” like a floral arrangement. It is not claiming glory as the rest of the flowers in their boldness, and yet without the filled green–it would blemish. I often find myself relating to this green…the background green. I am not the bold green, a natural-born leader. I lead behind a leader. I love the background details…the things that seem insignificant, yet I notice them. Green is pastoral, harmonious, tranquil.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.

Psalm 23:1-3 ESV

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Green is everywhere. What do you see in the color green?

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Week in Review

Hi everyone!

I just returned today with my family from our spring break vacation to VA/NC. What a trip!! I made lists in the hotel using their complementary notepads/pens of all these events I did not want to forget. I have so much to blog about that it excites me! It is amazing what a week away from your computer can do to one’s mind. However, I just checked my email inbox. My apologies to all who emailed during last week. I will write back as soon as possible.

Where to start? I thought I would take tonight and just tell you the fun events in general. We were able to see family during our first half of the trip: aunts, uncles, cousins!, my grandparents, and even some second cousins…but really, first or second cousins does not matter in my mind. I love them all and seeing family was such a wonderful time~but I just have one regret…that I was only with one hearing aid all week. My left ear is still having problems with fluid behind the eardrum. The week before we left I had a hearing test–and it was not very good. So, I went on spring break Deaf in my left ear relying on only my right hearing aid (which is not the stronger of the two) and lip-reading skills. It had moments of frustration and isolation feelings, but for the most part even if I had no clue what the conversation was about, it was nice just being there seeing faces anyway.

Otherwise, the trip had many rewards: Go-carting with cousins; playing Scrabble with the grandparents (team Grandma and Marcia won!); I tried octopus (no comment); I turned a quarter-of-a-century old (yeah the big 2-5); we visited Samaritan’s Purse headquarters in Boone, NC; and I finished Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. I even added thirty new words to my vocabulary…now the task is learning to use them in my sentences. This might sound sarcastic, but my favorite new word is “odious.” I just laugh at the sound of it and love the way Elizabeth used it in her personal reflections of Mr. Darcy in the beginning of the book when she thought him as prideful. Such a classic written story. I highly recommend it!!

And, as you might guess–we also saw historical places and lots of art!!! We visited Old Salem, NC. Being a Monday, all shops were closed but two: the bakery and the bookstore. It was such a nice day we still ventured around the street and saw the old buildings. Quite the place with interesting history!

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They were not “one a penny, two a penny…”, but they were delicious!

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They still use this brick oven today!

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We visited Boone, NC and actually got a snow day there. Instead of going further in the Blue Ridge Parkway, we were able to see the town and the Mast General Store. It has been in business since 1883. They had a whole room of candy–mostly “old-time candy”, meaning candy that is now very hard to find anywhere else. We were able to stop into two art stores: an art shop where local artists’ work was on display and an art supply store. The more I see art, the more I see how much I can improve my art and how much there is to learn! I was able to get a book at the art supply store about using mixed media with your paintings. I can’t wait to try some of the ideas!

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We were able to drive up Grandfather Mountain. I learned something new about winter beauty: hoar-frost. It is truly a beautiful frost that made me feel like I was entering the land of Narnia. Dad, Marcia and I walked the mile high swinging bridge. It was INSANE COLD!!!!!!!!! But it was fun memories having walked it in the blissful winter weather (and the hot chocolate machine was broken when we got back inside, LOL.)

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And our final destination was Asheville, NC. We ate at a great pizza place called the Mellow Mushroom (thank you Melissa for the recommendation!!). Then the next day we toured the Biltmore Estate. I am just going to leave you with that suspense, because if I start on the subject this post will never end! Let’s just say having just been reading Pride and Prejudice, I felt that I was on the drive through Derbyshire towards Mr. Darcy’s Pemberly Estate. 🙂

The Biltmore Estate far exceeded any expectation I had of grandeur, art, history, beauty. It seemed so unreal. I literally felt like I was in France, not NC. I have much to tell you about the day here, but if curiosity overtakes you before my next post I added the website at the bottom.

Fun facts of that day: first, it was my birthday. What a birthday to remember!!! I am serious–this is milestone memory! I will have to plan something this great for when I turn 30. LOL. And second, I had an interpreter for both tours and I cannot thank her enough! I was able to understand everything or ask questions. I just really enjoyed that service! All in all, it was a great day with my family as we toured this historic landmark.

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Mellow Mushroom…now a pizza place was once an old gas station. Pretty neat!

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The front of Biltmore Estate.

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Path leading out to the gardens.

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We saw more art on the journey home. In Asheville there is a Folk Art Center which had more original artwork…art that I consider the last of “heritage art,” such as calligraphy, making dolls out of corn husks, or weaving (baskets, chairs or rugs on a loom). Art just amazes me…as it did Mr. George Vanderbilt!! And with that, I am putting myself in suspense for writing all about the day so I will end for tonight.

More to come!!!

Websites:

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/

http://www.mastgeneralstore.com/index.cfm

http://www.grandfather.com/

http://www.biltmore.com/ and http://blog.biltmore.com/

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Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times, Funny Stories, Paintings, Random, Uncategorized

My favorite Painter.

If you haven’t noticed by now–my Greece pages under my “I Like!” section are still currently where they were months ago. I feel like my progress relates to the frustration of long-term road construction; but when it is finished…it will be a grand thing! I do apologize for that and hope to get those updated with pictures and stories very soon!

Following some sort of train of thought from Greek civilization, artwork and architecture to more modern times, I have an announcement. I have discovered my favorite painter.

Yes, I decided this last Sunday afternoon as I visited the Columbus Museum of Art. An excellent way to spend your afternoon if you are ever in the area..bonus it is free admission on Sundays. 😀 My favorite painter is not one I ever remember learning about in my two years of required art class in high school. I remember in particular Vincent von Gogh, well, because he had such a heart breaking life. However, his “Starry Night” is one of my personal favorite paintings of all times. I learned about Michelangelo, da Vinci, Raphael, and Picasso. But never do I remember hearing the name: Claude Monet. My favorite painter.

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I probably would not have initially recognized his “Weeping Willow” piece on display in one of the rooms had it not been for purchasing blank greeting cards from Barnes and Nobles around Christmas. It is so hard to find good writing cards that this particular boxed set seemed to be exactly what it should be–12 designs with two each. The box holding the cards/envelopes even has a picture of one of the paintings on the cover so it can be reused. I skimmed through the assorted replica pictures and bought the boxed set being more excited about having nice greeting cards more than who the artist was.

After starting to write some cards, I noticed Monet’s name. I still have no idea who he was, but I am really liking his style. I think that is what it comes down to really–I like his style of painting. The strokes…most short and the contrast of light in each painting. It makes the painting seem to have a deeper dimension. Monet is said to be one of the founders of the Impressionism movement. I went on to read, “The term Impressionism is derived from the title of his painting Impression, Sunrise.” [or in French: Impression, soleil levant] (2)

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I am still trying to understand the Impressionist technique, but I think I just opened a new window of fascination in my interests! The best part of having a favorite painter is the feeling that I am now an art student. 😀 I can’t wait to get to the library and check out some art books and begin reading more about these different movements in art history as well as other artists. Sometimes when I paint, I get stuck in a rut–the same pattern, colors, style. By learning, I have an opportunity to create better artwork myself. How exciting! “Attitude is the mind’s paintbrush. It can color any situation.” ~Anonymous.

Do you have a favorite painter or artist?

References:

(1) Claude Monet. (French, 1840-1926). Weeping Willow. 1918. Oil on Canvas.  51 5/8 x 43 7/16 in. (131 x 110.3 cm). © Columbus Museum of Art, Columbus, Ohio. Retrieved from  http://arthistory.about.com/od/from_exhibitions/ig/inmonetsgarden/img_columboh07_07.htm

(2) [*Excellent site! You can see his other paintings too, under “The Complete Works” tab.] Retrieved from http://www.claudemonetgallery.org/biography.html

(3) Claude Monet. Impression, soleil levant, 1872. Image retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Claude_Monet,_Impression,_soleil_levant,_1872.jpg

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Filed under Paintings, Random, Uncategorized

Blessings from bruises.

Because I am on blood thinners, my bruises seem to be taking their precious time in healing. Right now, I have a lot of combination of colors…most are still dark purple or blue on my stomach. When I looked in the mirror this morning after my shot, I remarked out loud to myself, “That looks like a seahorse.” Yep, a seahorse…like finding shapes in the clouds. 🙂 On the right side of my stomach, a little heart was formed when two bruises came together. It was then I started thinking of my bruises–the ones on my stomach that go unnoticed to the massive bruise on my right arm where the IV was placed on the outer part of my palm. It extends a good two inches of brownish-red to below my outer wrist. Very obvious and not very pretty, unless I am wearing a sweater or beads.

But I figure, bruises are temporal. They should (I hope) start to turn their greenish-yellow healing colors in the next few weeks before slowly fading back to my pale skin color–then just disappear altogether. I know you may think this is strange, but if anyone else is an organized, planner-ahead person…well, then I just really can’t explain why I thrive on this sort of activity–but, yes, I already have my Valentine cards/gifts set out to write and get ready to mail in the next week or so. Crazy, I know. I think it came about strong this year, due to the paintings I have been putting together for the coffee shop. Or maybe reading some verses in I John, or the sermon last week at church, or watching a few chic flicks on the recovery days. Not sure. As I was finishing up my paintings yesterday for Beans-n-Cream, I could not help but do one more 8×10 painting as thoughts of love, red, purples, bruises and blessings came to mind.

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Somehow all these thoughts made me stop and think of the real Love that has been shown. Mercy and grace were given by blood and bruises: Jesus, dying for the sins of the world that we might know God and know His Love.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5, NKJV

It is not even February yet, but it makes Valentine’s Day so much more anticipated…and I think that is why I anticipate it–because it is like Easter (i.e. Saying “He Lives” more than once a year!); the holiday means so much more when you think of it every day. How can I love my family, neighbors, strangers in the way that God has shown His Love to me? It has been in my thoughts and prayers as I want to show that kind of Love…and bless others who have so richly blessed me. Fail on days I will (human nature), but God’s Love remains. And that is what matters. ❤

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Family Times, Paintings, Random, Uncategorized

Back to paintings…

I have been finishing some paintings these past few weeks…here and there amidst everything and pretty much finished just in time before tomorrow. There are some details left, but I am going to procrastinate the rest of this week on that part and feel just fine in doing so. 😀 However, I am highly anticipating what is coming up after this week and wanted to share a bit of exciting news. The month of February will be full of art! If you are in the area, my paintings will be in two different places: a coffee shop and a library. Yeah, you read that right–A LIBRARY!!! 😀

Xenia Community Library displays local artists’ work on the second floor in the hallway. My paintings will be on display there for the month starting February 4th (actually that is the day I will be hanging them…so starting February 5th). Displayed are some of my personal ones as well as a few from the art show in August. But just the fact that they are in a library is so cool! Books and art! Just add a cup of coffee or tea and it is like a free museum. 😉

My paintings will also be at the coffee shop, Beans-n-Cream, in Cedarville again. I painted some new canvases themed with spring, love, flowers, bright colors, and fun. I incorporated different media (silk flowers, buttons, book pages) in the paintings as well, as I am trying new techniques and styles. Like my Dad always said when we were ordering pizza: “Expand your horizons.” (I always just wanted cheese. Then I realized I was missing out! Add the veggies!!!) 😀

I am getting very excited for these two avenues as they approach quickly! Just getting back into painting has been exciting too! It had been too long.

Here are a few paintings that will be at Beans-n-Cream:

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Untitled

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Now that the paintings are set, I am ready for this week though my thoughts have been anxious (especially today). Not fearful, just nervous I guess. Like I can’t sit still, because I am trying to get a few more things done before tomorrow. But I should just take a bit to sit and be still…so I am remembering Zephaniah 3:17 (italics emphasized),

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Tomorrow starts very early…please pray for safety as we travel down to Cincinnati and thank you for already praying for the surgery and doctors. I will not be taking my computer with me this time, but if anything comes up or I stay long, I will get a post in somehow.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love, encouragement, Bible verses and letters. They mean so much.

Mel

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Hospital Trips, Paintings

Refreshed[ness]

I know refreshed[ness] is not a word, but I would like to take today and just think that it could be. It is sort of the present tense of being refreshed…although the (ed) on the end of refresh technically makes it a past tense…thus, the (ness) is my excuse to wrap it back around to the moment. Make sense? LOL. I don’t think it does, but I just wanted to say: today was refreshing!

After lots of waiting and loads of phone calls, things are starting to take shape. Monday was a fun day for me. My older sister took me to my MRI and since we had a few hours to spare in between the labs and the MRI, we enjoyed ourselves while just sitting there in the Liberty Children’s campus hospital. We even got in some Starbucks time since my MRI was delayed an extra hour. Probably the Starbucks, but I did not sleep in my MRI…rather I watched Finding Nemo. I should pick a more serious movie next time as I was having a hard time keeping my breathing calm due to inner laughing. But it was worth it…especially since I had just quoted it last week on my post. They even put captions on before they started the movie. That was a treat! 🙂

Otherwise, things here up until today have been mass phone calls–mostly with insurance and figuring out why there was a hold on my Lovenox blood thinner shots. It made a great hassle, but I did none of the talking on the phone…so I am thankful for my parents and the pharmacy people who fought that battle for me. God knows the timing and the need. And today everything went through, just in time as my last shot otherwise would have been in the morning. Although it did come with a cost…and I mean that in the literal sense.

I still have no “set” time for the surgery, but everything is aiming for Tuesday. It might mean that I go in Monday night and then wait around Tuesday for an opening, but we will most likely hear word of confirmation either tomorrow or Friday. So for sure, not this week as we first thought. I do go down to Children’s tomorrow to meet with my Anesthesiologist for pre-surgery talks and such. This will be a good thing. I don’t have any questions other than the obvious, “You will keep me sleeping the whole time, right?” 😉 But it will be good to let them know about my fear and the last surgery–even though I have complete peace about it overall.

But now I will tell you why my today was so refreshed[ness]! Because I got out of the house! I drove myself around and did errands; even got in some reading time at Barnes and Nobles; and saw a lot of co-workers I know well from my old work while shopping there. I did just as much talking as I did shopping. 🙂 All in one days work! And to finish the day, this:

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Just gorgeous…and so unexpected after a whole day of gray skies!

What a day! 🙂 I am SO THANKFUL this time around that I have no driving restrictions, physical therapy or walking with canes in my way. It makes the “independent[ness]” of everyday things seem normal…like I don’t even have a blood clot. And I know that is God’s goodness. And for that, I just am so thankful! 🙂

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!” Psalm 34:8a

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Hospital Trips, Paintings

Happy 2013!

It came and went with just a stroke of midnight. The old year gone and now the new year has begun! 🙂

Yesterday I kept thinking to myself, “What am I going to do today that is different?” Last day of the year, might as well do something. So I did, but it just turned out to be a pretty normal day. I helped my mom vacuum/dust and did the dishes. Put away some Christmas lights. Caught up on a few emails. Enjoyed the evening with my aunt/uncle. And watched the birds play in the snow outside.

Cute little creatures! Mom had placed slices of oranges covered with peanut butter, sprinkled with seeds or something on the top. There they were–fresh snow falling in all around them and they just were having the time of lives eating and flying around. Others were seated near each other in the big bush right outside my window. For being so small, they sure can ruffle their feathers to make them appear two sizes bigger.

The bush is not in its time of glory. I would say that comes in the summer. It shoots up (after pruning) to such a height, sometimes it is hard to see out my window. The green leaves are a shade–even Muffy finds a cool haven from the heat. And the butterflies just can never have enough fill of the purple blossoms. It was the inspiration for this painting I did for the art show (which now hangs in my room 🙂 ):

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On a day like yesterday I realized that this bush, more full of icicles than leaves, was a safe haven to the birds. They did not mind that it was pretty much dead from the winter months. At that moment it was what they needed. I sat there thinking. It reminded me of one of my favorite passages in Matthew, where Jesus talks about not worrying.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ~Matthew 6:25-27, ESV.

My mind wonders at times. Not really “worrying” per say but I like to plan ahead. When my plans don’t go in the way I think they should, it usually turns into worry or frustration. Take last week for example. Not what my plans had in mind, but in the end it was for the better.

I never make New Year’s Resolutions…mostly in part by the end of the month I can’t keep them. So instead of a resolution, I decided to use this year and focus on what these verses say, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (vs. 33-34.)

I know I will not remember this everyday. But I am hoping God sends me reminders, even if it just means taking more time to watch the birds from my bedroom window. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. But empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

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I look forward to continuing the journey. More to come…

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Filed under Muffy, Paintings, Random

Everything Pumpkin.

At work I see new and interesting things. Yesterday, I saw a few new things containing the pumpkin flavor: Yoplait’s Light yogurt flavored pumpkin pie and Pop Tarts flavored pumpkin pie. I like the pumpkin flavor!!! This morning I had a Crimson Cup Coffee flavored Pumpkin with Carmel Pecan at Beans and Cream. It was so sweet. Might be just one of those I have once, because I could hardly finish it. Of course, there is always a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. 🙂 Both amazing, but sweet!

Pumpkin. The word is a typical connotation for carving creepy faces at Halloween or yummy pie at Thanksgiving. In my thinking, I asked my mom a question: Why do we only eat pumpkin in the Fall? There are frozen pumpkin pies all year round in the freezer section, yet I see no one buying them. Interesting. I know that, obviously, they grow in gardens during the summer–thus being available fresh produce in the fall season–but there are endless amounts of canned pumpkins in the grocery store, yet we don’t buy any. Isn’t that a strange habit. I would venture to say it is cultural…like it follows holidays and tradition more than just buying it on an everyday basis. Except, I could rule out dogs. People buy cans of pumpkin for their dogs, because it is supposed to be good for their digestive system (but please talk to your veterinarian before you load your dog with good fiber. 🙂 )

Do you like pumpkins? I decided to write down all my favorite things associated with pumpkins: Pumpkin pies, frozen pumpkin pie (scrumptious!!!); “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” [you can watch clippings on YouTube or you can easily find it in stores at this time of year]; fall decorations with pumpkins. I think I might attempt to paint something fall-ish with a big pumpkin somewhere in the midst of it. I would rather paint something creative with fall colors than carve. Last time I carved a pumpkin, my sister and I had to rotate shifts. Carving is not so easy on big pumpkins. But it was fun and it turned out well, not to mention, the seeds are quite the treat!!! 😀 Note the lack of top teeth was my carving abilities. 🙂

I also love walking through pumpkin patches! Each pumpkin is so unique!! In college, there was always a little patch on the corner of the block where campus ended. It started around this time of year and lasted a few weeks. It was used to profit the food banks with the donations received. It was also in college that my freshman dorm carved pumpkins and set them outside for display. One of my friends carved the state of Texas, since she was from there. I go to class and come back to find an upside down ice cream cone melting inside the heart of Texas. 🙂 I have no doubt it was a joke from our brother dorm. It seemed to be an ongoing thing the whole year. I must say my freshman year was a good one! 🙂

There is a dairy farm the next town over who launches an annual event: Pumpkin Chunkin. Pretty hilarious!!

If you want more information regarding that event, click here: http://youngsdairy.com/pumpkin-chunkin/. Of course I think Cinderella’s fairy godmother had more in mind than the above picture for a stagecoach. A pumpkin was the first thing she suggested to complete her magic in preparation for the ball. Talk about a sweet ride! 😉

Speaking of sweet: there is pumpkin flavored candles (that smell sweet), pumpkin shaped candy corn, and pumpkin bread. Pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin. There is so much to like about it. What is your favorite thing about pumpkins?

P.S. Check out this blog all devoted to pumpkins. You will find great recipies, food products and unique things. http://www.scottsevener.com/pumpkin/

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Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times, Funny Stories, Paintings, Random

First Day of Autumn

My mom has a Colorado scenic calender that hangs near the kitchen. This month’s picture is titled, “Little Snake River sunrise.” The sun shines on the dry mountain peaks giving them a tan color for the horizon. The trees shimmer with orange and yellow. The sky is blue. You can see the fleeting trace of dark clouds at the top of the picture which are being replaced by puffy white ones that lay low in the sky by the peaks. And there is a double rainbow. I notice that I tend to stare more at pictures or paintings these days. I soak in the color schemes or theme. I try to visualize what the artist had in mind. This picture was the same. Just one of those that makes you wonder if the photographer purposely waited until sunrise to take the picture or whether it was spontaneous. I go with the latter.

Like the picture above. It was taken last Autumn, a day after one of my chemo treatments. My sister and two college friends were going to Yellow Springs to enjoy the air, colors and tourism. They really wanted me to go. So I went. I had a great time. This picture was spontaneous. Look at how perfect it is. Everything from color coordinating, our hand positions (that was not planned either) to my eyes peeking out from the leaf. 🙂 I thought the other two were doing the same. I don’t think the picture would have turned out as great if we planned it. And I love to plan! Ask my family…it drives them nuts. There is nothing wrong with planning ahead. Ask event coordinators. I am sure the word procrastination is never mentioned during their interviews. It is actually a job I could see myself thriving in, minus the telephone calls. Aside from profession, when you plan ahead based on circumstances, it is harder to embrace change. Trust me, it seems to be my life’s bad habit.

I wrote a post at the beginning of Spring about how my vision is blurry when I take my eyes off Jesus. Two seasons later I see parallelism to my future much like a leaf. A leaf grows in the Spring. It nourishes in the summer, and it dies in the Fall. Its beauty peaks a few days before it sees the ground. Have you ever watched a leaf fall from the tree to the ground? How is a leaf to know the timing of when it will be set free or the circumstances around it that will shape the direction of its fall?

Not that I am falling (well, ok, I do physically when I twist my ankle), but the circumstances around me seem to be falling. At least in my leaf-like eyes. Circumstances such as my last day of work is in exactly two weeks with no prospects open for something new. Circumstances such as my next MRI is October 22nd. To be honest, thoughts cross my mind frequently of what those results will show and whether or not I will have to restart another treatment. Circumstances such as finding an apartment, fixing my car, putting my paintings in coffee shops, or where God needs me to serve in a ministry. Circumstances–temporary things that shift like the wind. Circumstances that weigh heavy on the heart, much like the tug of gravity on a leaf. Circumstances that are out of my control or leave me confused.

I cannot see what lies ahead, but I have to trust in God’s timing. It is perfect. It is not spontaneous like human plans. It is tenderly planned to meet all my needs. He sees the greater picture. I see the spontaneous moments piece by peace. I must admit that as much as I try to keep my eyes on Jesus, I am more like Peter who looked down at the roaring waves beneath his feet. Life is walking by faith. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen,” Hebrews 11:1.

And faith is much like Autumn. Change is here. Change is not always a strand of negative effects. Without the change of colors and falling leaves, how will Winter ever arrive? I must embrace change. I must embrace the Autumn in my life, for even when everything around me seems to be falling–it is beautiful. And so I wait. I wait for God’s timing, because if a leaf falls too soon it can be trampled. If it falls too late, it can wither. I wait for His release of beauty as I enter the Autumn winds.

Well, sometimes my life just don’t make sense at all

When the mountains look so big and my faith just seems so small

CHORUS: So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark

It’s so hot inside my soul, I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don’t come natural to me

I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want

Than to take what You give that I need

And I’ve beat my head against so many walls

Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band

Is playing this hymn

And Your grace rings out so deep

It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

Rich Mullins. “Hold Me Jesus.” A Liturgy, a Legacy, & a Ragamuffin Band. (1993).

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Family Times, Hospital Trips, Paintings, Random

A Monday in Disguise

The past few days I have been a walking contradiction. I have had P.O.D.’s song, “Alive” on my mind all weekend, but I have been anything but that. Combination of lack of enthusiasm plus lots of work hours, I spent most of my spare time taking naps or simply putting off what I need to do. At the time, I just did not want to do it..mostly writing emails and letters. I even found myself thinking yesterday, “I am tired of writing.” (GASP!) I know. But it was an honest thought. Then, I get two letters in the mail. One from a friend back home in CO and another from one of my Grandma’s. Cherished letters. Handwritten just for me. That changed everything.

So today as I hummed, “Alive,” I thought to myself: “Today has been a good day!” I had fatigue at work, but a cup of tea and relaxing for a half hour on the couch when I got home solved that problem. My back has been giving me a lot of pain, so I took breaks every hour to lay on the floor. Always worth it, especially since Terminex was here this morning…no more surprise spiders leaping out from under the couches while I try to stretch.

Today was raining, but I loved it. We need the moisture and I needed the excuse to stay inside. Plus I themed it while I worked on sorting pictures by watching Singing in the Rain. Not much beats that. I finished sorting by year all of my college pictures and uploaded ones that I need to copy off onto Shutterfly. I felt like a champion, even though the piles and piles of all my other pictures are still in unorganized heaps.

Yep, today was a Monday in disguise…no doubt about it.

How was your Monday?

 

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Filed under Books and Movies, Paintings, Uncategorized