Category Archives: Books and Movies

July 24, 2012 · 8:14 pm

Wishful thinking…

As I paint, I have been jamming to oldies. Anything past the year 2004, I really don’t listen to due to my hearing loss. I don’t know the words plus I can’t catch the beat equals that I stick to oldies that I know. Personally, I think the 80’s-90’s are the best anyway. However, I have also been into movie soundtracks or classical music lately. It helps me to think while I paint. Today, it is Bach and the Sea. The London Symphony Orchestra plays the greatest of Bach’s pieces with the sounds of the sea in the background. It is so relaxing.

A few songs are so calm…lots of cello so the sound is deep–makes me want to sit by the sea with a cup of tea in a cute sundress and fancy hat. Others pieces have more upper violin with a good beat which makes me want to ballroom dance like they did in the day (think Pride and Prejudice style songs); and still others, I wish to have my flute at hand. Although I definitely could not play a note or even remember the hand positions, I have been missing being able to play the flute. I really loved it. I can see myself being the flute soloist in Bach’s “Badinerie”. 🙂 My favorite piece on the cd is Bach’s No.1. I think it is the whole symphony, but I am not positive. Lovely melodies none the less!!

With the Olympics starting this Friday in London…my thoughts of my dream vacation arouse. I really hope to make it to England at some point in my life. There are a few things on my list to see: London (obviously), Oxford University and C.S. Lewis’ home, “The Kilns”; Canterbury and St. Augustine’s Abbey in Kent; and the countryside of England…maybe Wales. So much to see!

I love any history (as you might already know!), but since some anscestry is rooted in England, I find their history even more fascinating! Last summer, I spent a lot of time studying the time periods from King Henry VIII to King James I. This summer it has been King Arthur. I picked up T.H. White’s classic work, The Once and Future King, but it is over 500 pages and with all this painting–I have a feeling it will be my autumn season reading (with tea). 🙂 For right now, I just enjoy BBC’s show called Merlin. You can watch the first two seasons on hulu. I have yet to start The Downton Abbey series, but I will!! 🙂

My final months in Denver, a friend and I went on a quest to visit different tea shops around town. We found a British-owned cafe called The House of Commons. 🙂 We enjoyed the simplicity of decor, bright atmosphere, and sugar lumps for our tea. I, of course, put in three. 😉

Have a splendid evening, regardless of how many lumps of sugar are in your tea!

2 Comments

Filed under Books and Movies, Funny Stories, Paintings, Random

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 22, 2012 · 11:25 pm

What I learn in Cash Office

Cash office is my time to think. It is my time to “journal” in my mind. I think of random things, funny things, even songs or movies will come to mind. It is like my own talk show for two hours. Combine that with my ever-present cup of coffee, it looks like an idea situation. 🙂

Today, random thoughts started formulating in my mind. One thing led to another when all of a sudden my mind started simmering with thoughts of yesterday’s work experience, which had caused me to become angry. I realized that I was starting to let my mind boil with angry thoughts, when really all was said and done and was not that big of a deal. I caught myself and thought, “Why is it so hard to let go of things?”

I see this pattern in my life. If I get hurt (or wounded pride) by someone then I get defensive. It has caused some severe damage in relationships in the past. Things I regret saying, but I know that I am forgiven by those I hurt and God. So I must let it go. Once I realized that I was starting to steam today, God brought to mind of things I should be thinking about instead:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-25, ESV

Love

It is easy to say the word love. I say it about everything–“I love this” or “I love that”. But when it comes to relationships, to say “I love you” means that I need to love as God loves. God loves unconditional. Sure, it is easy to love your family. But what about the homeless, the forgotten, the ones in prison, drug addicts or your enemies? Romans 12:9-21 talks about love in action. “Love must be sincere…Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (verse 9a-10). If I choose who I love, then I am a hypocrite. I must also love God with my whole heart. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself'”. Luke 10:27. Pretty simple–Love God, love others, love myself (and in that order). 🙂

Joy

Psalm 30 is a song of joy. “Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (verse 4-5). Isaiah 55:12 also says, “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” There are so many other verses or songs that came to mind. There are some days when I think, “What could I possibly be joyful about today?” I think that is just it…it is backwards! Hope is joy! Even in the darkest times, there is hope…and in that we can have joy! It is not easy though. Sorrows come, but they only last for a moment compared to the hope that we have in Jesus Christ. And that brings joy. 🙂

Peace

First thing I thought of was when Jesus calmed the storm. He had been sleeping in the boat and the disciples woke Him in fear of the storm. “And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm,” Mark 4:39. The peace that God gives is enough to calm any storm…even when nothing seems possible. The months following the blood clot–everything just seemed so restless and confusing. Then I asked God for peace. It came. It was still the hardest time of my life, but it came. It is in those moments that you understand that God is in control and you just have to trust Him. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10a.

Patience

If you have ever seen Lord of the Rings, you will note that Smeagol and Gollum are the same character but two different personalities. Smeagol is the good and Gollum is the bad. In the Return of the King, Smeagol and Gollum are talking while Frodo and Sam are sleeping. They (Smeagol and Gollum) want the Precious (the Ring). Smeagol does not want to hurt Frodo, but Gollum keeps convincing him that they cannot have the Precious without it. Gollum keeps telling Smeagol to have patience.

Life always seems in a hurry: Always on the go, never wanting to wait, must have now style. Patience can mean waiting five minutes in the line at the grocery store or waiting a few months for a friend who is planning on visiting. I think patience is also where we get anticipation. While we wait, we get anticipation. When we hurry while waiting, we get antsy. For me, this is my worst problem! I am not very patient when it comes to time. I don’t like racing against time. I don’t like being late. I am not a very nice person if we are in a hurry and going to be late. It is where my OCD shines bright. I set my alarm and check it a few more times even though I know it is set.

Many things in life can test my patience, such as waiting for a representative on the phone but instead being on hold for forever. But being patient has great rewards. Imagine if a pregnant lady was not patient during her 9 months of the child in the womb! When the baby does come, there is much joy! Right now, I am learning to have patience and pray about a few needs in my life. And I know God has in mind exactly the answer, but I have to wait until His perfect timing reveals them.

Kindness

There is an old Steve Green song that sings,

Be kind to one another, and build each other up.

Build each other up. Build each other up!

Be kind to one another, and build each other up.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up!

I think giving sincere compliments to one another is a way to build each other up. Gossip is a way to tear each other down. It always happens to me: I start talking about someone and they come walking behind me. Not a very fun experience. Best way is, “If you can’t say anything nice…don’t say it at all!” Or Ephesians 4:29 says, ” Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

To me, kindness goes along with Goodness. You can be kind in words or deeds. Likewise with goodness. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven,” Matthew 5:14-16.

Faithfulness

I think the best way to say this is–God is faithful! I have seen it time and time again in my life from small details to big events. Most importantly though…I want to be faithful to God, because He is so faithful to me. One of my favorite hymns is “Great is Thy Faithfulness.”

“Great is Thy faithfulness”, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not. As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy  faithfulness!” Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—”Great is Thy  faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Gentleness

We used to own rabbits. They were so soft and when you pet them, you did it gently as not to scare them. I often think of God’s gentleness in terms of His peace. Isaiah 66:13a says, “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” Believe it or not, but my real full name means “Gentle.” Although sometimes I am far from that, I thought to myself how I could be more gentle (not just my name). I can be more patient, kind to others even when they are rude, less prideful, less selfish, more compassionate, more loving, more encouraging. It is amazing how something such as gentleness can appear so small, yet impact so big.

Self-control

This is another. It is like a bad habit. I think for any individual there are different areas that need to have more self-control. A few months ago, I deleted my Facebook. Why? That is everyone’s question. Mine too. But I know that for a few years since I started it, my self-control of time spent on FB has been in quite a battle. I tried a lot of things: staying off every other week, only getting on a few times a week, even just once a day. But I kept coming back to the same thing: FB was my obsession. One night as I logged off, I just knew it was time. Ignoring the thought, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. And then it came: You should delete your obsession.

Getting rid of an obsession is not always that easy–and believe me…it stinks! But for right now, while I learn more about self-control in the little things in life, that is what I need to be doing. All these Fruits of the Spirit are a never-ending cycle of lessons learned and to be learned. It is life, because we are Being.

Today in cash office–what could have been an anger session in my mind turned into a lesson. God showed me areas that I can improve on in life. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you all. More to come…

Leave a comment

Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Random

June 22, 2012 · 12:16 am

Start of Summer

I am sure you all have heard of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18. It starts with, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” I have a hard time understanding Shakespeare, but besides that point…here is my (unquote) Shall I tell thee of Mel’s summer days?! (unquote). 🙂

Wednesday was the first day of summer. Although the day was full of fatigue, a bloody ear and headache, work and a nap…it ended with sunshine, helping my mom pick greens from her garden and then watching Lord of the Rings: A Fellowship of the Ring (disk one). Pretty pleasant day indeed. 🙂

Yesterday started out early. I did not have to rush drinking my coffee, actually had time to put on all my makeup and leave on time for work. My mom surprised me by saying “hello” at work during the busiest hour. And when I got off work, we went to Pier 1 and found a cute little patio table that is decorated on the top with tiles of mosaic colors/patterns. Topped it off with grilled chicken and green peppers for dinner (delicious!!!). Not a bad summer day! But the best part of the day was seeing the new baby blue birds in the bird house. I stood on a chair and used a flashlight to peek inside. My mom thinks there are three baby birds, but I think I just saw the tiny head of one in the back. Talk about bed head!! 😉 The blue birds here are beautiful! The males are a vibrant color! I also enjoy seeing the Golden Finches too…but they are yellow. 😉

Speaking of trees, it is now time for our answer to the “What am I?” game I posted about a week ago. I know your eager minds must be anticipating the results (LOL)…so let’s give it up for Cynthia and Marilyn who answered correctly! [Applause] I asked, “What am I?” to this picture:

Answer: Aspen trees!!!

I love Aspen trees! They are tall, thin trees with bark like chalk. It gets your hands and clothes white if you lean up against it. But they are beautiful trees! Each has their own personality. We saw some funny ones in Creede. Thanks to my mom for the pictures. Mine did not turn out as detailed.

Four eyes (literally)

Sad cyclops.

 

A jolly fellow winking.

 Nature’s mascara

See what I mean? No two trees are alike. In the fall, Aspen trees turn a bright yellow. The mountains just light up! I feel this will be especially true of this year, because most of the pines are being destroyed by the beetles. We drove over Wolfe Creek Pass and most pine trees are dead. Sad. Here is a picture I took on a horse back ride my senior year of high school. Not bad for a film camera. 🙂

 See the yellow trees? Such a pretty sight!!! What is your favorite tree?

10 Comments

Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times

Tagged as , , , , ,

June 16, 2012 · 11:59 pm

A day in Pompeii.

Have you ever seen the early ’90’s classic TV show called, Saved by the Bell? I find the show reruns to be very humorous. Anyway, on the show…Zach Morris is the main character. He is the one who comes up with the schemes and plans that usually get him into trouble. When things start going haywire, Zach says, “Time out!” using a “T” motion with his hands and the screenplay freezes while Zach talks about a new direction that the conversation or series of events should go about.

So, if you read my last post about the start of my Colorado trip added with the excitement of showing you more pictures and the “What am I?” game–in keeping with the football theme–I would like to call a time out. 🙂

Yesterday, my mom and I set out for Cincinnati for an appointment. Although this time it was not at Children’s Hospital but the Good Samaritan Hospital a few minutes down the road. There ended up being more one way streets than we anticipated so a few times around the block passing a huge high school (think High School Musical look) and the University of Cincinnati, we finally found our destination. The appointment went well and fast (just an occupational therapy test, so no worries of much going on). Since we were on a different section of town, we decided to check out the Cincinnati Museums Center.

Here it is: home to several museums, Cincinnati Amtrak and a research library. Also home of the Pompeii exhibit until August 12, 2012!!  I liked the structure of the building. On the front by the doors it has in the stone an inscription of 1931 along with information of the time capsule there.

You view Cincinnati from the parking lot…

…but it is the inside that captures your attention!

We each ate a slice of pizza and made our way down to the Pompeii exhibit by 1:30. Phenomenal! It reminded me of touring a museum in Greece. Seeing the artifacts up close…most of the styles were mimics of Greek art anyway. Pompeii was a Roman city during Emperor Vespasian. The city was filled with temples to the gods, mostly to Baccus–the god of wine and vegetation–because the area was very fertile there with grapes, olives, grains. Also, Neptune–the god of the sea and Apollo–god of the sun were very popular, but you saw mamy different statues. During the exhibit, there were also a lot of fauns.

The displays were set up like you were walking through a section or street of town. They showed how they did laundry (definitely not how we do it today…be thankful someone invented bleach!); their markets, how they cooked, their private rooms, how they bathed (extremely clean people…the women even wore makeup!); the amphitheatre with gladiators and their armor; the house structures and gardens. They even had a system of pipes to bring clean water into the house while another section of the pipe went out to their gardens. Their foyer areas when you walked in the house set the tone of the house. One had a tile art of a dog and the inscription said, “Beware of the dog.” Interesting, huh!? I think the house structures were my favorite to learn about. They even had a pool in that front foyer area that would collect rain water. They had artifacts of all things: pots, pans, wine vessel, water buckets, dentist and doctor tools, jewelry, mirrors, garden statues and pillars, and statues of the gods. To think all this and the people were frozen in time all these years.

As you went through towards the end, the mood started to shift. It became more quiet. Then they had this video that played continuous about the last 24 hours of Pompeii. It was set up like you were viewing the city looking at Mt. Vesuvius. The morning around 8am looks normal, then by 1pm it is raining balls of ashes that was burning the city. By the end, you hardly see anything. It is said that what killed most people of Pompeii was the pyroclastic cloud which basically just suffocated them almost immediately. Pompeii was lost under almost 13 feet of ashes. It was not rediscovered until the mid 1700’s! When they started finding the bodies, they made a plastic cast of the original and that is what we saw. The detail. The expressions.

This one might have been a slave. See the shackles on his feet? Those are real.

This one is a dog. The sign talked about how the owner probably had chained the dog to guard the house and then it tried to escape. The metal rings on its collar are real.

Pompeii and Herculaneum were completely destroyed yet preserved when the volcano erupted in 79 AD.

The exhibit quoted much of Pliny the Younger’s letters to Tacticus (who was a historian). I read that Pliny the Elder (uncle of Pliny the Younger) was killed in Pompeii. Pliny the Younger wrote two letters…they would be a great place to start reading if you are interested for more information. He gives eye-witness accounts. I own Tacticus’ The Annals of Imperial Rome, but hope to get to read Pliny’s letters soon. The amount of things to read never ends. That is why I find history so compelling!

I got a little silly when we left–

Here I am imitating a way that a person of authority would pose in a manner when they were about to make an address to the peoples. You see it on statues all the time:

When I got home, I announced to the family that the next time we are eating dinner and I want to say my two cents worth in the conversation, I will raise my hands like this…just wait until I do it at a restaurant. HAHA.

Ceasar demonstrates speaking to the crowd at the ampitheatre.

More to come…

Leave a comment

Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times, Funny Stories, Hospital Trips, Random

Tagged as , , , ,

May 31, 2012 · 2:32 am

Colorado

My thoughts the past few days have been consumed with memories. Colorado. Mmmm, it has been a long time since I have sat down and been totally overwhelmed with thoughts, especially of my favorite things, people and places. Sort of like a noun…a noun can be people, places, things or an idea. There is also proper nouns. Colorado. It sort of fits in all those categories! That is a pretty good noun!!!! 🙂

Blue skies, no humidity, snow peaks, sunsets, friends, family, and my favorite city in the world: Denver.

I love Denver. I loved the neighborhood I lived in…it put me ten minutes from the mountains and less than ten minutes from Downtown. People would ask where I was from. “Denver,” I replied. It sounded so cool. Denver is home of my favorite sports teams, coffee shops, and parks. I also thought the art museum was amazing, bonus free admission on the first Saturday of the month. Denver on the map makes sense. The streets are numbered horizontally and most streets going vertically go from farthest north to farthest south. Sometimes I would just get in my car and drive around the city. By the time I left, I was a city driver! I could even parallel park Downtown!

There is so much about Denver that I love. Most of my thoughts this week were of Denver. Of my “family” I left behind. Thoughts just came at different moments during the day…the fun memories, the bad memories, the places I visited often or drove past daily. College memories. Post-grad life. My old roommates and the times we had together. Walking across the street to my best friend’s apartment to hang out. My first paintings. Going to work in the morning with the sun rising in my rear view mirror…while I was looking towards the purple mountains and blue sky out of my front windshield. Hanging out with my downtown ministry on Thursdays…there is not a day that goes by where I do not think of those kids.

It is hard to believe that a whole year has come and gone. It was last year during this week that I was saying my goodbyes. The year has been a crazy one! Far more than I ever dreamed of, but still…Denver holds that title…”Home.” I think it will just always have that title.

But there is so much more of Colorado to see past the cities. Although I must say Colorado Springs was another favorite place!! You get past the cities to the small towns in the mountains (or at least surrounded by mountains). The ranches, cattle, crops, rodeos!!! My sister and I shared a room that faced the crops across the road. There was nothing like falling asleep to the sound and smells of fresh-cut barely to the hums of the combines. Then the cows in the pasture out back would take on the encore…not so beautiful. LOL.

Looking back, the town I grew up in was perfect. Growing up I did not think that way…it actually took moving to Denver for me to realize that fact. 🙂

Our hometown was like the song of Cheers…

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go,

Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same;

You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.

There are things of a small town that I love. For one, we knew everyone at school in all grades. Yes, that is possible…and we were not that small of a school but small enough. I still regularly chat with my close girlfriends from those days. Others will send me emails to ask how I am doing. I think that is special. Which brings me to the main point of small towns…everyone knows everything about everyone else. In other words, word travels fast. 🙂

There are so many fun things to do in the surrounding mountains. Every summer we would take a camping trip. Camping…in a tent and most of the time where there were no outhouses. Yeah, nature’s luxury at best. Hiking, canoeing, and my not so favorite of fishing. There is an old mining town about an hour away…that is my favorite mountain town!! In the summer, they set of 4th of July fireworks from the mountains above town. Sitting on a hill on the other side was always cold but had the greatest view. There were a bunch of tourist shops…best coffee and fudge around!

I am sure by now you might be wondering about all this random chat about Colorado. First, I think it is because I realize that God has his own unique way of answering my prayers. I wanted to move closer to family but did not realize at the time how hard adjusting would be after spending my whole life (minus the first 6 years) in Colorado. But looking back over the one year here, I have seen so much family! I love my family. And now part of my family is back in Colorado…talk about vacations!!! Whoo hoo!

Speaking of which, I should be packing. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE TIME HAS COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 As of a few hours, I will be IN COLORADO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My thoughts have been so consumed with this all weekend!!! I could not focus last night…so I sat down and read Psalm 139. It really is an amazing Psalm about God knowing us from even before we are born…he knows the plans he has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I wanted to read this Psalm mostly because I wanted to control my anxious thoughts. Verse 23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”

So there I sat. I just started talking to God about all these things in my head…I was trying to plan out what I could see in my short time there…but my anxious thoughts were becoming overwhelming. It was almost like driving in the mountains but you spend the whole time reading a book (which I will refrain from doing. I am only taking it for the plane rides and for if we go fishing. 🙂 ) But do you see what I mean? I finally realized the best way to go to Colorado is to let go of my past memories and take in new ones. I can stop planning because I don’t have to see everything…there is not enough time anyway. But I can enjoy what I do see and the people I see it with. My anxious thoughts are calm, but I still can say, “I can’t wait!!!” 😀

P.S. I do hope to see one of these. 😀

We liked this song growing up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwARpaKHx_w

References:

http://www.denverartmuseum.org/

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/cheerslyrics.html

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139&version=NASB

4 Comments

Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times, Paintings, Random, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , ,

May 22, 2012 · 12:00 am

Chewing and digesting.

I just recently finished two books. One was an autobiography and the other fiction. But they were both captivating, inspiring, and in my category of, “I can’t put this book down!”, sort of books!! Literally. Last night I was up until wee hours in the morning reading. I only stopped because I was getting uncomfortable and my eye was twitching. But it was worth it!!

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.  ~Sir Francis Bacon

I learned from these two books. It might not be a learning as in something new, rather penetrating thoughts that lead to more exploration and deepening of faith. I usually don’t write reviews on my Good Reads, because even if it is a fantastic book, I sometimes do not have the words to describe all that I read. I know with these two books that I must get over that obstacle. Not that I have to write little reviews for all the books I read, but for me, it will help gather my thoughts together. I think these books, which are so different and yet follow a parallel path, need to be chewed and digested. I do not want to read just for a hobby. I want to read in order to learn, to grow, to process lingering thoughts, to share, to encourage others, to come closer to God.

God Smuggler by Brother Andrew

Brother Andrew’s story reminded me a bit if George Muller’s story. Both men of deep faith with no income, who trusted God for their needs and never went hungry, unclothed or in any financial trouble. They were men of prayer. Muller ran an orphanage–Brother Andrew smuggled Bibles to countries behind the Iron Curtain in the 50’s-70’s at the height of the Cold War. He shared his story of his younger years. His father was a deaf, hard-working man. His mother was frail and set in faith. Brother Andrew lived through World War II and all the oppression during the scope of the war. He joined the Dutch army and set out for the East Indies, only to return as a wounded man, not just physically but spiritually. When Brother Andrew turned to Christ, his life changed drastically. He went to school to be a missionary and then God sent him on a mission of sharing God’s word and encouragement to a widespread of areas: Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia (before 1993’s peaceful split), Germany, Russia, China, Cuba and a few others. He even had to go through Greece on one of his trips and drove past Phillipi. I have been there!!! I could see it in my mind as he talked about the ruins. Very neat.

Brother Andrew asked God to make seeing eyes blind. God answered his prayers. This book reached my heart to show me that I can pray for the impossible. God answers impossible prayers…in his own time, with his majesty and power. To be blunt, I do not pray for my own healing. I stopped in high school. In college when I finally accepted who I am regarding everything, I figured I did not have to pray for healing, because I knew that this was the road in which God was leading me. Only one friend in my life has ever questioned me about this subject. He could not take an “I don’t know why I don’t pray for healing” for an answer. I had to dig deep. His words cut through my heart, but what he was saying to me in love was the truth–I could trust God with the impossible. I still do not pray for healing as if it were a huge portion. I pray in smaller, bite-sized portions. God is amazing me with his timing and mercy in the smaller things. I know that my faith can deepen still, so when the time comes, I too can pray for a miracle.

Leota’s Garden by Francine Rivers

I usually shy away from Christian fiction. Only up until this year did I start picking up a few that actually caught my interest as they were intertwined with historical places and people. Ok, if you want to know it was the Winslow Breed Series by Gilbert Morris. I was more interested in them because they were storied around the time of King Henry VII, Queen Elizabeth, and King James. But they turned out to be greater than I expected!

I found River’s book on the bookshelf in the study room. It was thick. Four hundred and twenty-three pages. It was not even the cute cover or the summary on the back that made me want to read it. I just wanted a good thick book to take on our travels, so I could read on the airplane rides and in the cabin we are staying at in the mountains. 😀 Just looked like that style of book fit for a vacation. I opened it just casually and read the first few pages. Two days later the book is finished! Guess I need to find another good book for our trip. I should put a lock on the next one. 😉

I really, really enjoyed this book! Francine Rivers seems to bring in an array of aspects of our society into one book. I will try to do my best of explaining without spoiling anything. There are many characters in this book. Anne-Lynn, or Annie, is eighteen and desires to follow God but is living with a verbally abusive mother who is in her third marriage. Corban is in a big league college studying Sociology and needs to finish his term paper, but needs a case study. Leota has a broken family. She is old and lives alone in the ghetto neighborhood in Oakland. Her garden has not been touched in years and only talking with the Lord keeps her company. Through the course of the plot these characters start on a new journey. Each character that Rivers writes brings in another aspect to the bigger picture. Annie’s friends, Leota’s neighbors and children, Corban’s girlfriend. Each person has their own personality, worldview and problems. As the story progresses, you see that their paths were not just coincidence. They were God designed.

The story touches subjects that are hard to embrace: poverty, abuse, AIDS and cancer, hatred and grudges, pride, selfishness, war, abortion, euthanasia injections, benefits and burdens quarrels, money (rich and poor), power and greed. It showed the sinful nature. It showed our human nature. The situations these characters live through are not just fiction…they are things that go on in the world we live in…and only God can fix the mess. He already did fix the mess. The light of salvation is what shines in the darkness. The story that started as so painful turned into something beautiful. Rivers wrote about the hard subjects…I think it made it so real. By the end of the story, I thought I knew how it would end. “Typical Christian fiction” ending I thought. It did not. It ended even better than I imagined. It was a story of truth and forgiveness. A story of hope.

This book would be a great recommendation for any ladies study group. My mom had read the book (and loved it), so I had some discussions with her and I was so thankful for that! It left my mind so open of thoughts that I needed to share them with someone who knew the story. The book sparked a few memories of my past. Things I said in anger, things I regret. God’s love holds no room for guilt and shame. I must forgive myself, because I have asked for forgiveness from those I hurt and from God. It is like weeding the garden. Taking time to prune, to moisten the hard soil, to nurture. The fruit we bring forth is a reflection of how it is planted, grown and nurtured. I want to grow good fruit. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing,” John 15:5.

If anyone has read Leota’s Garden or even Brother Andrew’s book, I would love to hear your thoughts about them!

References:

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/2856.html

Leave a comment

Filed under Books and Movies

May 18, 2012 · 10:07 pm

Running the Race.

Last week, I finished Kathy Van Riper’s autobiography called, A Race Worth Running. A friend had given me the book as a birthday present last year and I put off reading it for obviously a good year. I am not sure if that was God timing, but I think I got more out of it now–being a year later–as I have been through a bit more experiences in my physical body, such as the blood clot. I was so emotional reading the book that after I finished I was talking with my mom and just started crying (a variety of things), but I pointed to the book on the couch and said, “I don’t know why this book has made me so emotional.” Mom looked at me and said, “Probably because you can relate to what she went through.”

I thought about this. It is probably true. If you compared my life to Kathy’s life, there are some extreme differences: she was married, had two kids, battled an extreme case of breast cancer for ten years, and lived in CA her whole life–and yet we also had similarities: We both loved running (I can’t physically anymore, but love walking!); we both had treatments on the same chemo called Avastin (although she went through ten other different chemo treatments; I have only been through two.) We both had a blood clot with all the blood thinner shots and pills that follow; we both lost our hair; we both had radiation; we both were (and I still am) supported by an amazing circumference of family and friends who love endlessly and share support during the good and bad times; we both had to switch hospitals and doctors after years of care offered by another one; and we both have faith. Kathy’s faith is now complete. I am still on the journey.

Kathy’s “life verse” was Hebrews 12:1-2,

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

I put in bold the phrase that she quoted most often in her journal entries that were at the end of the book. Kathy was a runner. Unlike myself who ran cross-country in high school but hated the races, Kathy thrived in races–anything from 5k, 10k to marathons. Whether you run or not, running as if in a race is almost the strength and perseverance mind-set for life: “[Forgetting] what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13b-14.

When I ran cross-country in high school, training was what got me through the races. For training, we would run on a variety of things during the week: grass, sidewalks through town, and other times, run up the mountain. I remember this one place…not quite sure where exactly in the mountains…but all of a sudden after you “warmed up” running the road, it just turned into a straight shot up the mountain. Rocks everywhere, so steep. It was literally a “breath-taking” view! 🙂 Coach always encouraged us to never stop. Never. So even though I was bringing up the rear end of the team while running slower than most people’s walking speed, I never stopped. After you got over that huge steep hill, things leveled out. Sure, it was still a mountain, but it was more like the hiking paths and less gruesome. Even after all this training, sometimes during the races I would want to give up. But then I would remember and say to myself, “Pull yourself together. You trained harder than this.” And I would not stop. Mental determination. The finish line was my goal. And that was the best part, because as you near the end you start to hear the cheers from everyone at the finish line. You pick up the pace, knowing that the finish line was just ahead. You forgot about the rest of the race…how much pain or how many people passed you. You strived to the end with all strength left in you. The verse that was so special to Kathy fit her life–her personality, her faith, and her race against cancer. The common phrase for people who have died from cancer is, “They lost the fight.” Indeed, our lives are worth fighting for but after reading Kathy’s book…I would not say that she lost the fight. Rather, she finished her race.

“Pressing on towards the goal”–I have shared Kathy’s favorite verse. I would like to share with you now my favorite verse. It is from II Corinthians 12:9-10,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I had started running in the 7th grade…slacked off here and there, and in college, I started going to the gym every night. Not much kept me from the gym each night in college. I think it was my own way of “pressing on” during those times. I loved it. Something happened after I graduated, I stopped exercising every night and lost a little determination for a bit. I lived close to some different parks in my neighborhood and started walking there. I loved seeing the season changes and talked to God while I walked a few miles. My old job was also connected to a mall which had an indoor mile lap and I would often walk during my lunch breaks. Please understand me when I say this…as this pertains to my life and mental determination: When I either give up exercising, or can’t exercise from health reasons, I see a change. Like my attitude changes about how I see things in life…big struggles seem even harder, and even little things seem so hard. I told my mom about Kathy’s life during our conversation that night I finished the book–how she would go on mile runs a few days after chemo treatments. I said, “I don’t think I could do that,” as if it made me feel guilty for not getting out for walks lately or getting a few other things done that were stacking up in my room (which it sort of did). Mom said I didn’t have to. We were all made different.

Then I thought back to times in Denver. I worked Thursday-Saturday eight hour shifts. The weeks of chemo I worked Thursday, chemo Friday and then back to work Saturday-Sunday. Regardless of how much I tried to talk to work about changing this schedule, it never did. For months this happened. I think that is where my favorite verses really set in…”When I am weak, then I am strong,” because it was almost my reminder of my semester in college when I was on chemo pills. I don’t know how I got out of bed then, or on the weekends of work after chemo. Definitely not on my own…but on God’s strength.

The thing is, most people look at me and say the exact thing of what I said about Kathy’s life, “I don’t think I could do that.” And I would tell you, “You don’t have to. We are all made different.” God gives me strength to endure, just like he gave his strength to Kathy. He gives it according to our need. I think that is what makes life so special. We all have our own race–our own life worth running…enduring through pain, encouraging others and in return receiving it, rejoicing with those who have crossed the finish line, and striving for what lies ahead.

11 Comments

Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Family Times, Hospital Trips

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

May 17, 2012 · 2:54 pm

Chickpea Nibble Recipe

I think the Disney movie, Ratatouille, made a great point: “Anyone can cook.” Although there are some such as myself who stretch the line a bit, it is a great motto for any persons new in the kitchen. In the movie, Remy (a rat) helps the new garbage boy, Linguini (sounds like a pasta, lol), to create wonderful recipes while in secret working from under Linguini’s toque. I always laugh when Linguini runs around the kitchen holding up spices to his hat so Remy can smell them. HAHA. 😀 Although I cannot run around the kitchen and smell things, I did decide to try a recipe I found in an old Martha Stewart Living Magazine.

Ready for more name humor? The recipe is called “Chickpea Nibble.” 🙂 I just found that so funny, I actually took time to read the small paragraph of the recipe. It seemed so simple, so I put it to the test. They turned out EXCELLENT! So delicious! Here is the recipe:

Ingredients:

19 oz can of chickpeas [I used two 15 oz cans and it worked just fine!]

2 Tbs of extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp of salt

A pinch of ground pepper [but I added a good-sized amount because I love pepper!]

1/2 tsp of your favorite dried herb or spice [I chose oregano]

Instructions

Drain, rinse and pat dry the chickpeas.

Toss in a bowl with the other ingredients listed above.

Spread them in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. [I had put down parchment paper on the bottom of the pan, which was so genius!]

Cook at 300 degrees and stir occasionally until they have browned and begin to crisp. [The recipe says it would be around 50 minutes but mine took a little over an hour. Just keep checking them and taste testing. There is a difference when they start crisping.]

That’s it!!!! So easy and SO GOOD! Healthy too. 🙂 I like to eat them plain, but tonight we are going to finish them with salads!! Big salads of different greens, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and I hope the big red pepper I just noticed in the refrigerator!!! Yum!!!

I guess I will end with a little reversion of what I remember Martha Stewart saying on her tv show (back before the new show…I am talking the OLD show! I thought they were so cool to watch!) I am going to quote this, just because it is my own version, so don’t take it as one of her real quotes. 😀

“With summer sneaking in with longer days of sunshine and green grass, the days of barbeques out on the patio served with potato salads and all sorts of goodies–remember this delicious and simple recipe. These chickpeas are sure to bring delight to all your guests whether served in a small dish or on the salad. It’s a good thing!!” 😀

*Martha Stewart Living Magazine. “Chickpea Nibble.” March 2007, page 72.

Leave a comment

Filed under Books and Movies, Family Times, Random

Tagged as , , , , ,

May 4, 2012 · 11:55 pm

“Sometimes the night was beautiful…”

What a week!! Quick recap of big events:

I bought myself my first pair of sunglasses!!! I think they are pretty cool. 8-D (Yes, they go over my glasses–but they work great!)

I finished a painting. I tried Snapple’s new tea: Bret’s Blend Tea–Trop A Rocka. It has mango, pear, peach and cinnamon flavoring. Delicious! I got to talk to some friends from CO. My little sister comes home from college tonight! 😀 So exciting!!! 😀 We got to see some family friends who are in town and had dinner with them. And the biggest event of the week: yesterday’s hospital trip.

I had my annual 3-month MRI and doctor visits. It was a LONG day! I checked into radiology at 6:30 a.m. for my MRI. I got out around 9:30. Got a nice bruise on my right arm from the IV they used for the contrast. Went up to my regular doctor visits that lasted until 12:45 pm. Ate my sandwich on the run to my 1pm appointment for an ultrasound on my left leg to see how the blood clot is doing. I got out of there at 2:30. Back up for one more appointment and finally got to leave the hospital around 4 pm something. I was so tired by that time that as soon as I got in the car, I fell asleep. Thanks to my dad and mom for being there, because while I was sleeping, they were stuck in rush hour.

The day, although long, went well. It is my own battles of striving to be independent that cause me to build a defense wall when I attend appointments, especially when they are Occupation Therapy concerned. I like to do it on my own, even though my body is changing. And for me, it is harder to except the fact that my body is changing and getting more slow, than it is for me to adapt to changes. For example, when doctors ask me if I have noticed any changes…I say the obvious ones that I might be concerned with or notice getting harder to do. Then they ask my parents and they say things that I really have not noticed, because most often either I am used to it by the appointment so I forget the changes or I just don’t take note…like I can’t see myself walk, so I don’t notice how my right leg and ankle are working or seeming different. I am not mad at my parents for speaking these things, but my first initial reaction is to clarify with justification and try to prove that I am doing just fine. It is a hard day to sit and discuss about all the big to tiny changes noticed. It is not that any big steps are taken towards these changes–it is just discussing them. I think what frustrates me most is having to talk about all the options out there–possibilities–for when the time comes that I do need more assistance in maintaining my independence.

Independence. The word in itself is what I fear most I think. The thought of losing my independence causes me to strive to work harder to maintain what I can do right now in life. Like driving. The weeks following my blood clot, I could not drive and I struggled! When I was ready, driving and taking management of my schedule helped me get back towards feeling independent, even though I had just let go of my apartment. God only knows the future. He knows when I will need help and has surrounded me with an amazing family who helps me in more ways than I probably recognize and a team of doctors who have resources to help me as well. I just hope when it comes to that time, that I will have let go of my pride and recognize that I will need help. And not all help is bad. Not all help classifies me as helpless. Not all help labels me as disabled. The assistance at that point in time will enable me to continue to live independent for as long as I can. I must learn to embrace help, not build a defense against it.

I have not received the results for my brain and neck scans yet, but scans of the spine were stable. And the left leg shows stable as well. This is a praise!!! 🙂 Thank you for your prayers!

Last night before I went to bed, I went out to feed Muffy. The moon was bright, stars were shining, and it was a lovely warm evening!!! I sat on the patio and started humming Rich Mullin’s, “Sometimes by Step”. Of all the day’s worth of emotion, chaos of schedule, and long discussion…it was so nice to sit in silence. Just for a few minutes. No thoughts of the day spent or thoughts of tomorrow. Just a deep breath of wonder realizing how tiny I am in the universe, yet God knows me by name. He loves me and takes care of me. I am so blessed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Hospital Trips

Tagged as , , ,

April 29, 2012 · 12:56 am

April’s Pinterest.

The biggest gig these days for creative thoughts and stuff you like is Pinterest. I have been on the site a few times, but find it somewhat a bit of chaos, so I prefer magazines. 🙂 Needless to say, sharing creativity and what you like is splendid. Over the past week, I have been collecting “creative” thoughts. Some are more classified as a “Cool beans!” category. So this is my unofficial “pin” post of my interests. 🙂

  • Storing Chocolates

Yes, there is a way to keep chocolate around a bit longer!! My good friend who runs Street Church sure knew how to make a volunteer’s day during the stressful weeks right before finals. We would gather in the kitchen to go over the plans for the evening–the lesson, games, who is taking prayer requests, etc.–and then before you know it, someone has opened the freezer! We all knew what was coming next. CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a dandy idea! No, it is genius!!! Buy an extra bag of chocolate at the holidays, put it in the freezer and a few months later, pull out a few handfuls of the delicious treat!!!

  • Useful books

There are several things in this category. First, if you have limited bookshelf space or just want a different way to display your books, try putting a stack underneath your lamp. I have a small lamp that is sort of dull, because you can’t use a high watt lightbulb. I would make it shine a bit brighter just by putting it up higher. I am sure you have seen pictures of this…it is not an original idea. 🙂 The books I put underneath are usually ones that I have read, or that have a cool cover. (Never judge a book by its cover, LOL). My mom gets little books from the different places we travel. It is fun to sit down and read a few different ones when you have nothing else to do. You can also display them in a basket or on the coffee table for when company comes over–excellent conversation starter!

Take advantage of your library’s book sale. Be selective…maybe know what areas you are interested in and aim for those kinds of books. I got Homer’s The Iliad for 50 cents at our library’s book sale. “Cool beans!!” 🙂

Every reader needs a bookmark! My sister got me a magnetic one, which I think is a lot better than what I used to do: turn down the corner of the page I just ended. I like to get to a page that has a period at the bottom. It closes the train of thought. I am such a nerd. 🙂 Anyway, the magnetic bookmarks are neat, because if you want to finish just a paragraph then you can mark the line by putting the bookmark on the outer edge of the book, instead of on top like my picture shows below. As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.”

  • Tea and Cakes

This is the time of year that I start drinking tea more than coffee. My favorite is Snapple brand. Every cap has a “Real fact” and when you finish the bottle, you can recycle it or make it into a flower vase. 🙂 I also like the idea of putting a tea packet in a card to a friend. A lady in town sends me encouraging cards and adds a tea bag. I think it is special.

3-2-1 cake!!!

Our family friend, Denise, shared this “recipe” with my mom. Even I can make it! 😀 Trust me when I say, “It is so simple!!”

Ingredients:

1 Angel Food cake box

1 box of another cake (our favorites are Carrot cake or Chocolate cake)

water

Directions:

Mix the two boxes of cake in a Ziploc bag or container.

Using a 1 Tb measuring spoon, put 3 scoops of the cake mixture in a microwaveable mug. Add 2 Tb of water to the mixture.

Next, whisk the mixture until it is blended well and looks something like a frappachino.

Put it into the microwave for 1 minute. There you have it! So easy AND delicious!!! It looks like a sponge when it comes out. 🙂

Speaking of sponges: next time you are in FL, you should tour Tarpon Springs! It is a Greek cultured town with cute shops and they give tours of how they dive for sponges. It is like seeing an astronaut dive in the sea. 🙂 Very neat place! I visited a few months before my trip to Greece. So, my first gyros was from the states, but still delicious!

 http://www.spongedocks.net/default.htm

 Another neat place in FL is the historical Ponce de Leon lighthouse (hence the mug). We went there as a family and climbed the 203 stairs to the top. There is also exhibits and a museum in which you can see up close how a lighthouse works. Very interesting!

http://www.ponceinlet.org/index.cfm

  • Randomness Finds and Ideas

I finally bought a flashlight. But it is like a lantern! I tested it in my bathroom. I set it on the counter and could see great all around. Great find from Target for around $10.

I opened the Cheerios box to find an Obi-Wan pen inside. 🙂

Reuse gift bags that have been given to you. When I find things that I am not wanting or using anymore, I set them aside. If it is books, movies or nice articles of clothing, I first think if I know of a friend or relative that would enjoy them. It is a great way to give presents, get well/just because/encouraging gifts, and it is a way for the items to continue to be used instead of sitting on a shelf in the closet. 🙂 Thus, my recycling tip of the day!

  • Fashion trends

I use my flower clips not only for use in my hair, but also attach them to my sweaters like a pendant. It gives a little spunk to your outfits.

And last, best thought of the day!!! I was cleaning the bathroom and decided that I am tired of staring at my bathrobe that hangs on the outside of my door (which faces my room). I went on a fashion show business hour using the clothes in my closet and redecorated the hook with spring attire. It was so fun and now I have something like a “shopping” experience to stare at each morning when I enter the bathroom!! Fun!!!

To close, I will share my favorite “It is the month of April” joke. Ready? April showers bring May flowers, but what do Mayflower’s bring?

Did you guess??? 🙂 It is “Pilgrims.” Get it!?! HAHA. Happy end of April! More to come…

4 Comments

Filed under Books and Movies, Random, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , ,