Purple self-pity

Tonight I realized that I have been in a stage of silent self-pity. Getting tired of trying to sort out details for some important weekends ahead, I have tuned out priorities of real life with a much better satisfaction by having my nose in a good book. Escaping.

When I finally went down to paint, I got to thinking and in letting creativity flow, I didn’t realize I was getting purple acrylic everywhere. Mom found me starting clean-up and offered a hand by wiping down the purple handles of my walker.

I bought a nice stationary set yesterday that reads, “Life is a journey not a destination.” I can’t physically escape what may come ahead on the journey–and I am not promised escape either. There will be more days of self-pity and sorrowful “woe-to-me” I am sure, though most of my silence builds until it overflows like tonight’s mess of purple acrylic paint.

The tiny 8×10 was a struggle to paint tonight due to lighting issues and my eyes, yet it was relaxing as I watched the colors blend together, creating an abstract picture. The abstract mesh of my life may not make sense to me, but it does to the One who sees it clearly.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

“Be Still, My Soul.” (Hymn.)

Life is struggle. Life is beautiful. Life is a journey.


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4 responses to “Purple self-pity

  1. Deborah

    So true, Melinda! ❤

    Thank you for sharing!


  2. michelle

    Thank God Jesus pitied us and provided the Way of Salvation, because we are indeed weak creatures who desperately need His guidance. Thanks for sharing and expressing what you’re going through, it helps others to identify, perhaps not with your exact situations but with those similar struggles and frustrating feelings, to look toward our Maker who understands.

    • mel

      Hi Michelle. 🙂 It’s great to hear from you..and I thought of you this weekend as we went up I-75 to MI. I would have loved a visit 🙂 Maybe next time!!

  3. Megan

    LIfe is a beautiful journey of struggles… couldn’t have said it better myself ❤ Thank you for being so honest and transparent – even though these realizations are hard at times. I have recently found myself in a sort of "funk" to where I feel like I'm not being or doing anything helpful these days but then I take a step back and look at the big picture only to realize that my focus has been internal and not eternal. That always makes a difference in my outlook on life and what I'm doing daily… am I living for and throuh God or am I just living? It's been a question that I've been grappling with all week long. ❤ Megs

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