I’m just going to be honest here…this weekend has been rough. Like a sea of emotions, mixing memories of the past with the present times and having to face the reality of potential changes in the near future. Collide them together and the waves crash into the boat. And it feels as though I have been thrown overboard and I get physically sick. Weak and vulnerable, I feel my courage start to fade.
I am in the middle of the storm. A voice calls out,”Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.” (Matthew 14: 22-33)
He bids me come…but I am fearful of the waters, the waves–I am fearful of letting go of the sinking ship that is currently keeping me afloat. I must decide. Do I wait until the boat is no more or do I release my grip while it is still in sight? The decision is mine. How long I remain at stalemate is unknown.
Yet in the storm, I see Him waiting. He has not abandoned me. I cry out; I plead for strength, discernment, hope.
Reach down for me, True God; deliver me.
The waters have risen to my neck; I am going down!
My feet are swallowed in this murky bog;
I am sinking—there is no sturdy ground.
I am in the deep;
the floods are crashing in!
I am weary of howling;
my throat is scratched dry.
But, Eternal One, I just pray the time is right
that You would hear me. And, True God,
because You are enduring love, that You would answer.
In Your faithfulness, please, save me.
Psalm 69: 1-3, 13 (The Voice)