Central focus.

This weekend was beautiful. As I stepped out on the back patio, I could feel it. It was the start of Fall weather. I know it is not official until next Sunday, but the change seemed to shout out in the morning light, brisk air, and the first of colored tips in the leaves:

“A new season has arrived.”

I sat in a coffee shop last night with a friend. As our conversation flowed, I mentioned that I have been struggling with self-control (more priorities) of how I use my time. From the time I get out of bed, my days are usually pretty routine. Then these last two weeks, I seem to have lost that routineness. I seem to be all over the map of “to-do” lists of little details or projects needing attention, the weekly home visits by OT/PT, calling family on my new Cap Tel as I try to recapture the time of lost conversations, squeezing relaxing time in to read, or responding to emails which can take a bit of time. The end of the day comes and after all the business of accomplished things, I feel like I haven’t even left the dock. My focus meanders…

It is hard to discern what I need to be doing as I feel I fight against time of my declining body.

“I just don’t really know what to write about,” I say to my friend. Not that I am out if words or post ideas, but each day seems to bring about more change that I don’t know where to start. In the same manner, I see a parallel to my time studying the Word and in prayer: Unsure of the direction I am to take, as some doors have opened and others have closed.

I wrote last week about leaving room for “God Room.” It cannot hold nervousness leading to worry and doubt, but I let mine sneak in through the crack beneath the door. It distracts my focus, my desire of complete surrender…and I need to refocus on the promises that God is with me in every season: especially the ones that bring about change.

As Fall approaches, I anticipate its beauty. Shouldn’t I anticipate the same beauty within my own season of change?

God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3;11, NLT

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5 Comments

Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Uncategorized

5 responses to “Central focus.

  1. kathy ellithorpe

    Sweetie….reading this as I ready for bed. You are a powerful thinker and writer.. I appreciate you so much…you know this? Thank you…for your strength, for allowing me to touch God in a way I was unable to before…thank you…

  2. Reading what you wrote about change….it is one of the hardest things each one of us has to deal with. Before I had the heart attack I had a schedule that I followed each day. Since then my days have changed. God is helping me deal with the changes, but it isn’t easy. I’m thankful that I am able to pray and that God hears me and I’m thankful that even though I don’t get immediate answers I am sure that he is with me and will give me all I need….in his timing. We are blessed. Love you Melinda

  3. Megan

    Melinda ~ I cannot fathom how you are able to deal with so much change as it comes each new day – having to adjust to it constantly and work through the details of daily living that I take for granted would seem to be exhausting. But I know that God is your strength and He will see you through it all just like He has been already! I really like your verse you included for this post… God is so good to every one of us and that’s for sure! *(Even if we cannot see all His handiwork on this side of Heaven as the verse .) The verses from Matthew 7:24-27 about the wise and foolish builders came to mind for me when reading this – you are the wise builder who is firm upon the rock, no matter what storms may blow! Seems appropriate too with all the flooding and rain we’ve had here in Colorado to think about this in my own life… even literally. LOL – but seriously, I’m so proud of you Sis for anticipating beauty amidst all the ebbs and flows of this journey we call life. Keep looking up and leaning into Jesus!

    The Solid Rock:

    My hope is built on nothing less
    Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
    I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
    But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

    Refrain:
    On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
    All other ground is sinking sand,
    All other ground is sinking sand.

    When darkness veils His lovely face,
    I rest on His unchanging grace;
    In every high and stormy gale,
    My anchor holds within the veil.

    His oath, His covenant, His blood
    Support me in the whelming flood;
    When all around my soul gives way,
    He then is all my hope and stay.

    When he shall come with trumpet sound,
    Oh, may I then in Him be found;
    Dressed in His righteousness alone,
    Faultless to stand before the throne.

    XOXO, Megs

  4. Megan

    *(Even if we cannot see all His handiwork on this side of Heaven).

  5. Megan

    Love, hugs, kisses, and prayers ~ Megs 🙂

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