Tag Archives: doctor appointments

Refreshed[ness]

I know refreshed[ness] is not a word, but I would like to take today and just think that it could be. It is sort of the present tense of being refreshed…although the (ed) on the end of refresh technically makes it a past tense…thus, the (ness) is my excuse to wrap it back around to the moment. Make sense? LOL. I don’t think it does, but I just wanted to say: today was refreshing!

After lots of waiting and loads of phone calls, things are starting to take shape. Monday was a fun day for me. My older sister took me to my MRI and since we had a few hours to spare in between the labs and the MRI, we enjoyed ourselves while just sitting there in the Liberty Children’s campus hospital. We even got in some Starbucks time since my MRI was delayed an extra hour. Probably the Starbucks, but I did not sleep in my MRI…rather I watched Finding Nemo. I should pick a more serious movie next time as I was having a hard time keeping my breathing calm due to inner laughing. But it was worth it…especially since I had just quoted it last week on my post. They even put captions on before they started the movie. That was a treat! 🙂

Otherwise, things here up until today have been mass phone calls–mostly with insurance and figuring out why there was a hold on my Lovenox blood thinner shots. It made a great hassle, but I did none of the talking on the phone…so I am thankful for my parents and the pharmacy people who fought that battle for me. God knows the timing and the need. And today everything went through, just in time as my last shot otherwise would have been in the morning. Although it did come with a cost…and I mean that in the literal sense.

I still have no “set” time for the surgery, but everything is aiming for Tuesday. It might mean that I go in Monday night and then wait around Tuesday for an opening, but we will most likely hear word of confirmation either tomorrow or Friday. So for sure, not this week as we first thought. I do go down to Children’s tomorrow to meet with my Anesthesiologist for pre-surgery talks and such. This will be a good thing. I don’t have any questions other than the obvious, “You will keep me sleeping the whole time, right?” 😉 But it will be good to let them know about my fear and the last surgery–even though I have complete peace about it overall.

But now I will tell you why my today was so refreshed[ness]! Because I got out of the house! I drove myself around and did errands; even got in some reading time at Barnes and Nobles; and saw a lot of co-workers I know well from my old work while shopping there. I did just as much talking as I did shopping. 🙂 All in one days work! And to finish the day, this:

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Just gorgeous…and so unexpected after a whole day of gray skies!

What a day! 🙂 I am SO THANKFUL this time around that I have no driving restrictions, physical therapy or walking with canes in my way. It makes the “independent[ness]” of everyday things seem normal…like I don’t even have a blood clot. And I know that is God’s goodness. And for that, I just am so thankful! 🙂

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!” Psalm 34:8a

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Hospital Trips, Paintings

“Sometimes the night was beautiful…”

What a week!! Quick recap of big events:

I bought myself my first pair of sunglasses!!! I think they are pretty cool. 8-D (Yes, they go over my glasses–but they work great!)

I finished a painting. I tried Snapple’s new tea: Bret’s Blend Tea–Trop A Rocka. It has mango, pear, peach and cinnamon flavoring. Delicious! I got to talk to some friends from CO. My little sister comes home from college tonight! 😀 So exciting!!! 😀 We got to see some family friends who are in town and had dinner with them. And the biggest event of the week: yesterday’s hospital trip.

I had my annual 3-month MRI and doctor visits. It was a LONG day! I checked into radiology at 6:30 a.m. for my MRI. I got out around 9:30. Got a nice bruise on my right arm from the IV they used for the contrast. Went up to my regular doctor visits that lasted until 12:45 pm. Ate my sandwich on the run to my 1pm appointment for an ultrasound on my left leg to see how the blood clot is doing. I got out of there at 2:30. Back up for one more appointment and finally got to leave the hospital around 4 pm something. I was so tired by that time that as soon as I got in the car, I fell asleep. Thanks to my dad and mom for being there, because while I was sleeping, they were stuck in rush hour.

The day, although long, went well. It is my own battles of striving to be independent that cause me to build a defense wall when I attend appointments, especially when they are Occupation Therapy concerned. I like to do it on my own, even though my body is changing. And for me, it is harder to except the fact that my body is changing and getting more slow, than it is for me to adapt to changes. For example, when doctors ask me if I have noticed any changes…I say the obvious ones that I might be concerned with or notice getting harder to do. Then they ask my parents and they say things that I really have not noticed, because most often either I am used to it by the appointment so I forget the changes or I just don’t take note…like I can’t see myself walk, so I don’t notice how my right leg and ankle are working or seeming different. I am not mad at my parents for speaking these things, but my first initial reaction is to clarify with justification and try to prove that I am doing just fine. It is a hard day to sit and discuss about all the big to tiny changes noticed. It is not that any big steps are taken towards these changes–it is just discussing them. I think what frustrates me most is having to talk about all the options out there–possibilities–for when the time comes that I do need more assistance in maintaining my independence.

Independence. The word in itself is what I fear most I think. The thought of losing my independence causes me to strive to work harder to maintain what I can do right now in life. Like driving. The weeks following my blood clot, I could not drive and I struggled! When I was ready, driving and taking management of my schedule helped me get back towards feeling independent, even though I had just let go of my apartment. God only knows the future. He knows when I will need help and has surrounded me with an amazing family who helps me in more ways than I probably recognize and a team of doctors who have resources to help me as well. I just hope when it comes to that time, that I will have let go of my pride and recognize that I will need help. And not all help is bad. Not all help classifies me as helpless. Not all help labels me as disabled. The assistance at that point in time will enable me to continue to live independent for as long as I can. I must learn to embrace help, not build a defense against it.

I have not received the results for my brain and neck scans yet, but scans of the spine were stable. And the left leg shows stable as well. This is a praise!!! 🙂 Thank you for your prayers!

Last night before I went to bed, I went out to feed Muffy. The moon was bright, stars were shining, and it was a lovely warm evening!!! I sat on the patio and started humming Rich Mullin’s, “Sometimes by Step”. Of all the day’s worth of emotion, chaos of schedule, and long discussion…it was so nice to sit in silence. Just for a few minutes. No thoughts of the day spent or thoughts of tomorrow. Just a deep breath of wonder realizing how tiny I am in the universe, yet God knows me by name. He loves me and takes care of me. I am so blessed.

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Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Books and Movies, Hospital Trips