Tag Archives: confusion

Standing Still

Please read: this is not a post to stir controversy, point fingers in blame or have any affiliation with political parties; it is not my intention to come across in a complaining “woe to me” status or even use this post to vent personal opinions on the subject at hand.

This post is about me and my disease; how curve balls thrown at you in life don’t hit the gutter as they usually do in bowling lanes–but hit you straight on, leaving a knockout of confusion and frustration. Leaving no answers. You know my story: my body is changing, becoming more dependent on others. And as my body continues to change, so does everything else–medicines, insurances and provider policies, and the like. It affects me. It affects my family (my parents as they are my ears on the phone and the brains as we read the paperwork during these situations.) But even my parents don’t understand everything.

“Living with a handicap is not simple,” I said as Mom positioned herself in the driver’s seat after just placing my walker in the trunk for what seemed to be about the thousandth time. The reality is that anyone can say this about life: it is not simple and changes are not easy. You don’t have to face life-threatening or long-term illnesses to affirm this. Speed bumps come in everyone’s life–different time, circumstances. Some we see as we draw near, allowing us to prepare and take caution. Yet others take us by surprise, shock and confusion as they appear to come out of nowhere.

Last week, my life hit a large speed bump. Unexpected, as I am in the midst of changing health insurances due to age, I find I have been dropped from another; Frustrating, there was no warning, no official papers. Confusion at this critical time. And still, as I slowly go over this bump, what seems to be a total mess (which it is)…God is supplying the persons and resources necessary to meet my need. I could not have planned this course, nor do I understand it either. It is a God Room speed bump. His ways are best.

Stand and watch, but do not fight the battle. There, you will watch the Eternal save you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear or worry. Tomorrow, face the army and trust that the Eternal is with you.

2 Chronicles 20:17 (The Voice)


Filed under Adjusting to NF2, Family Times, Uncategorized