March 9, 2012 · 4:00 pm

Endurance

Today was my second session of Physical Therapy. I go six weeks, twice a week. The goal: to help bring function back to my left leg by strengthening the muscles that have weakened from the blood clot, and to help stabilize my balance as best possible. Overall, PT repeats, “To build your endurance.” Tuesday was my first session. The whole time was used to see my body condition in the physical sense–things I can do well and things that I need help with during the sessions. It was mostly stretching and holding the pose for thirty seconds sort of exercises, but by the end of my 45 minute session, I felt like I had just completed a marathon! I came home and slept for four hours!! Today’s session, we went into the actual stretching exercises that they want me to start at home. It was more physically challenging…required more endurance.

My PT set me up on a step machine (not sure of the actual name, sort of like a stationary bike in which you are “stepping” but sitting down). As I was finishing my six minutes on the machine, I noticed a poster on the wall over to my right. It read, “A walk of a thousand miles begins with a step.” I thought that was a great saying to put in a PT gym. Here people come to regain what they have lost…sometimes even just their first step. The greater picture is that enduring the hard work, results will follow–even if it seems miles away. I remember running cross-country in high school. I was not very fast–I do not have a long stride–but every training made me stronger, not just physical but the mental endurance. We would train a few days a week on different terrains: grass at the park, running the cement streets, and our not so favorite–hills and every so often, a mountain. Yes, you read that right–MOUNTAIN!!! Talk about endurance! I am not a competitive person, therefore, I did not like the races, but during the races is when I felt like my training and building up my endurance had paid off! I never stopped, even in pain, and whether or not I came in last–which most often I would–the most important thing above all else is that I finished and I did not give up! That is what I call endurance.

This summer is the Olympics in London!!! YAY!!!!! More to come regarding that but the whole aspect of training and endurance reminds me of when we saw THE Olympic Stadium in Athens, Greece. What a sight to see!

There it is! Where the Olympics first began, well actually the first were held in Olympia (hence the name). Very fascinating history about the origin: http://www.greecetravel.com/olympia/.  The point–they have been around for a LONG TIME! Imagine those first games! 😀 All the strength and endurance, for what? Honor and a sacred olive branch (or wreath).  Enduring for honor! I remember my professor telling us that if a contestant did not win the olive branch, they did not return home…the honor was lost. Can you imagine how intense that would be?

The time we spent at the Olympics arena in Athens. I was reminded of what Paul says in I Corinthians 9:24-27,

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

And again he writes,

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14).

There are times when running the race is hard!!! And unlike cross-country races, sometimes I give up because I cannot see past the wall in front of me. But in everything there is hope: Every step towards the next thousand miles, I can go with confidence because, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13.


Here are some other websites about the ancient Olympics:

http://www.olympic.org/ancient-olympic-games

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olive_wreath *I like the story in this one. 🙂

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March 8, 2012 · 1:25 am

Beauty from within.

Tonight I went down to the basement to watch my favorite television show, The Middle. It was a repeat, so I decided to watch a movie. My Mom had recorded a few months ago, so I chose to watch How To Save a Life. I thought that it was excellent! It is about a teen boy, Jake–senior in high school all set to go to college on a basketball scholarship, typical popular kid with party friends and pretty girlfriend. Over the course of events (I do not want to spoil the movie if you have not seen it), Jake realizes that the life he is living is fake. A youth pastor enters his life and welcomes Jake into a friendship with no judgment for his past. Jake soon starts to change. He stops the parties and starts hanging out with the considered losers at lunch. He befriends another kid from school and in the end you see how it made a difference in their lives. Just a really well done movie with a message not just for teens, but for any age.

The whole theme of the movie was about judging people and how it affects lives in a negative way, contrast with making a decision to not judge and how it can bless people. Why do we judge people? The whole story really hit me, because I struggled with popularity in high school. I never did parties, but I had cool friends and preferred to hang out with them at lunch rather than sit with other groups of people (just an example). I can’t go back and change it now, but I guess what my mind keeps coming back to is that we judge. And I should not. Jesus said, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” -Matthew 7:1, NKJV. Pretty much ends all debate.

I know we already passed Valentine’s Day, but I wanted to share a story with you about what God taught me in this area during the spring semester of ’09 when I was undergoing 6 sessions of chemo. I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I just figure we can tell our loved ones, “I love you”, everyday. That year in particular, instead of feeling sad that I did not get a date or flowers, I asked God to show me how to love others. It is so easy to say, “I love you” as much as it is easy to say that I love coffee. I wanted to put action to my words. I had chemo right around Valentine’s or a bit after, I cannot remember now. Denver Children’s is always really busy, especially in the Oncology Department. Fridays were no exception and that day in particular, I had to share a room with another patient. They had the curtains closed so I could not see the other patient until the nurses came in. It was a girl a few years younger than me and her Dad was with her as well. My two friends from high school were with me that day, so we were chatting quite a bit and unknowingly, too loud for the other girl. Her Dad kept giving us glances and I tried to keep the conversation low.

After what seemed forever, I finished and was getting ready to leave. The girl’s Dad had gone to get her a Sprite and my friends started to leave towards the hallway. I was still wearing hats at the time, but had a few extras that day to donate to the main waiting area. I looked in my bag and found a cute one and went around the curtain to her bed. She was sleeping, so I just laid it on the table. I guess my sudden movement woke her up, because we just stared at each other for a second and I finally said that I had some extra hats and I wanted her to choose one. I gave her the bag of hats and while she was looking at them, I noticed how beautiful she was. Here she lay, with more than one IV, no hair or eyebrows, as pale as I have ever seen a patient and yet when she smiled, she was beautiful. I was so touched. Here I had been frustrated with the fact that I could not talk regular with my friends, like it was the biggest deal in the world.  Yet I realized that I did not know this girl, her background or her physical status but none of that seemed to matter during our short 5 minutes together. I never saw her again. I just know that God taught me to love that day, love like he loves–seeing past the physical and the beauty that comes from within.

I would be lying to say that I still love like that at all times. There have been many times since then where loving was hard, and instead, I judged and I failed. I am so thankful that God’s love never fails. I am so unworthy, yet he never judges me for my mistakes and always forgives, which is what I should do towards others in every circumstance. “Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” I John 15:13, NIV. God’s love is unfathomable. ❤

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February 29, 2012 · 10:59 pm

February 2012

Today is February 29th! Happy Leap Year Day! (And happy birthday to all those who have the coolest birthday date!) 😀 Today seemed to be a typical day considering that it is a unique date. Got up late, Muffy followed me around while I was trying to get ready quickly, went to get my finger poked to check my blood count, went to work, went to Children’s Hospital at the Liberty campus (about 40 south from Dayton) to fix my ear molds for my hearing aids. The new molds were like Dumbo ears, just huge and it feels like they are expanding the inside of my ear! So, after trying to fix them, we just ended up ordering new ones. We left and came home, I wrestled with my computer all evening until my Dad came home…somehow things always work for him. Checked my email and Shutterfly had sent me a coupon to receive 101 free prints! So, now I sit and blog while my pictures are being uploaded. Today was a typical day–minus the surprise free prints coupon. Thank you Shutterfly!

While I was waiting for my computer to unfreeze, I remembered a quote about Leap Year that I read a few weeks ago in my Mom’s magazine, Better Homes and Gardens. Although I cannot claim a “green thumb”..serious I kill any plant I try to grow…I really like the magazines. They have fun fashion tips, how to’s for decorating different rooms of your house, easy recipes and of course garden knowledge. This February issue they have a page about things to do for the rest of winter since the groundhog saw his shadow–thing number 2 reads,

TAKE THE LEAP

Save February 29 to check in with yourself. Write down what you hope to accomplish over the next four years and put your list someplace safe, to revisit in 2016. (BHG, February 2012, pg. 14)

This made me think of the past four years. I had some major achievements and life changing events: Two different types of chemo. Graduated from college. Trip to Greece. Started painting. Moved 8 times (HA! Bet your mouth dropped! 6 times were to different apartments); one big move across the states from CO to OH. Transferred jobs. And even a blood clot. Pretty big events for my planner. How am I even supposed to write down things for the next four years coming from that resume? 😀 I don’t even make New Year’s Resolutions.

I think the quote makes me realize one important thing that could sum up my feelings: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. One would assume that in these past ten years with this disease that I would fully understand this statement. Folks, I SO DO NOT!!! I am a planner. I plan ahead, and when my life takes abrupt twists and turns, I get upset. I get frustrated when I have to change my plans. My biggest unknown at the moment is whether or not I can go back to my apartment that I just moved into in November. I have been out of my apartment more than in it between work, a family reunion at Thanksgiving, Christmas, plus chemo every other weekend so I would sleep here at my parent’s place, and my sister’s wedding in Colorado right after the New Year. Then the blood clot hit January 22. In the hospital I figured I would get better pretty quickly and be back to normal in a few weeks. My plans= out the window. (I had not even thought of the fact that I would have to wear a compression stocking.) Present day: My mom drives me to work (I am cash office so I sit for 2 hours), appointments, and church; I can’t lift heavy things and need someone to go up and down the stairs with me. I am gaining strength, just taking a lot longer than I thought.

So why do I have a problem with change? Maybe it is my pride? My expectations? I am not sure to be honest. I seem like I am a big oxymoron in the flesh. You know, my health changes all the time and yet I hate change. 🙂 But not all change is bad! The move out to Ohio deserves a post in itself. It was God planned, timed and detail oriented. I had three things I was not sure of when I started praying about the move: job, moving out of my apartment and leaving my roommates in a financial bind, and obviously my health. All in one week shortly after I started thinking and praying and brainstorming, they were answered in better ways imaginable! It is these sort of memories that I wish I could think of more often when I have days like today when I feel like I have hit a wall. These past four years have been one thing after another and yet I saw God in it all, especially the timing of it all.

So, since I lose paper and I am not at my apartment to put a note in my special box of what I hope to see in the next four years, I will just tell you. I hope to see more of God’s perfect timing in my life. I have seen it before, and I want to see it again. Best part is, I won’t be disappointed when the next February 29th comes by again. 😀 What do you hope to see?

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February 20, 2012 · 7:27 pm

My First Post!

Hi there.

Actually, you might get used to me writing “Howdy”, because that is what I say when I see someone in person. This is my first blog. I had diaries and journals growing up, Word document journals and Facebook notes in college, and now a post-grad, I feel mature as I enter the blogging world. My older sister has handled blogs, both personal and business, for years! As we set this up, she would sometimes ask, “Does that make sense?” With her patience and superb knowledge, I think I might get the hang of this.

Well, after a days work of learning the how to’s, it is dinnertime! More to come…

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