Hunger!

Dictated to Mom Wednesday, October 28 and typed October 29

I can’t remember the last time I used an alarm clock! It was definitely the time I was home, even before I started using home health care aides. All I remember is that my alarm clock started to get tricky when light sensitivity began to be a problem. As my vibrating deaf alarm clock would go off under my pillow, my eyes were being “blinded” by my flashing lamp and I’d usually end up smacking my alarm clock endless amounts of times until I could find the snooze button! I pretty much ended using my alarm clock when I started home health care. My aide would come in the morning to wake me up in typical “good morning “ fashion. The first thing was to shake me awake then open the curtains! In typical morning grumpiness, I tried very hard to explain “no sunlight until I have my sunglasses on!” by the time we had a good morning and had the routine down, I entered Children’s Hospital and then I transferred here to the nursing home. Now I don’t use alarm clocks, snooze buttons, nor am I “blinded” by sunlight in the mornings. It does take me a bit to get a good routine down. The mornings are my favorite time of day here, for the most part. They seem to go by quickly and the best part is I control my own breakfast menu!

When I first moved in, learning the way things go as far as eating and the times in which to eat were one of my biggest adjustments. Everything is scheduled here. I could no longer eat whenever I wanted to or what I wanted to because that was all set for me. However, I did get a little break at breakfast. Our family considered pancakes, sausage and the farm-style breakfast to be a dinner. We always had a bowl of cereal in the morning. “All I want is a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, that’s breakfast!” I soon got tired of Corn Pops and Rice Krispies. I even talked to the nurse about more fiber. She suggested oatmeal for a few days while Mom got me stocked on a few boxes of fiber cereals. At least that was an easy fix! However, it took me a while to figure out that I was being served decaf coffee, instead of regular coffee in the morning. Once we realized this problem, we quickly fixed it. I now have a large can of Folger’s and an assortment of powdered creamers sitting on my shelf next to my cereals. Just take it from my experience, if you’re ever looking for ways to cut the caffeine in your diet quickly, just try that method—DECAF all the way!!

My favorite part about breakfast here is the juice. They always bring me a cup of juice from the dining hall. It was about this time last year in which I was recovering from eye surgery and many stitches in my knee after a fall. Besides OT and PT, I did nothing but have my feet propped up and read on my Nook. One of my favorite books I read was Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. After I read the book, I realized that Disney’s Treasure Planet is based off the book. As I re-watched the movie, I found it all spectacular. In the movie, Jim Hawkins is off once again getting in trouble while his mom is overwhelmed at breakfast time in the diner that she runs at the end of the port. All these funky looking creatures are eating as she is trying to talk to a family friend who is a dog and all the ladies in the corner. One every so often waves a cup and yells, “Mrs. Hawkins, my juice!!” It’s a good thing most of my aides are somewhat my age or younger because one morning, I thought of this scene and told the aide, laughingly. She had seen the movie, so I didn’t have to explain anything further to her. I stopped talking and just laughed and finished my juice.

Anything past breakfast can make or break the day. Since lunch and supper times are a bit more set it has taken me awhile to figure out how much I like to eat at those times. It still has taken me awhile to figure out what my stomach and intestines like and what they truly reject! With my body constantly changing, it’s now not just my intestines that are a problem. I’ve had lots of discussions with my dad about my chewing and swallowing. I also discovered last night that I now have a lisp! That’s kind of besides the point of eating, but the fact is I’m having a lot of problems just in how I eat my food and even swallowing my water. One night though, I was really disgusted at dinner and when Dad came in that night, I started lamenting about the foods I was missing because a lot of food typical on the “outside world” can and are considered an expense here.

Since the season is changing and November is coming up, I started talking about my envision of a Thanksgiving dinner that I knew I wasn’t going to have here. “Oh, I know we will get mashed potatoes and gravy as we seem to eat that a lot here”. It wasn’t until the next day that I realized I really have nothing to complain about even if some foods make me sick or I find them gross. Also, I feel like a baby that is being fed and always asking for a drink because I cannot do it on my own. But the thing is I am being fed and fresh water is always available to me when there are millions around, not only in America, but also in the world who have nothing to eat or drink. I’ve never know hunger or thirst. Yes, I’ve been thirsty, but even then I get “filled”!

I’ve noticed in my time here, since going blind, how much more that I am spiritually “hungry”. Now that my eyes are darker, they seem dry, almost like the dryness that I sometimes feel in my soul when I am alone. But just when I need it most, God fills those longings with new songs and a few Bible verses I can think of on my own and I can fellowship with Him. Yesterday, I had two people visit me and read me verses from the book of the Gospel of John. I went to bed last night feeling more satisfied as if I had just eaten a piece of banana cake. That is the reason why I continue to trust God, even like the night before when I was in such intense pain thinking it was my last hours. Maybe that is why mornings are my favorites too because there are some mornings I don’t want to get out of bed. The fact that a new day has just begun is something worth praising God for. Now that I cannot see, I always ask if my shade is open and if it is a sunny day!

John 6:35

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Hunger!

  1. My Dear Sweet Melinda, You have reminded me how much more I need to read and dig into the Word and memorize it more. I never know when I won’t be able to open up my Bible. Thank you, for inspiring me. You are so much by our Heavenly Father! ❤ you! Debby

  2. christi Ramsay Rowe

    God has Blessed me through You!!

  3. Aunt Lois

    You are precious and you are loved! Thank you for encouraging me with your blog. Hugs.

  4. estherbentonmorford

    I love to read your thoughts. They are so meaningful and inspiring. Much love to you today. I hope it’s bright and sunny for you. Esther

  5. Allison

    Melinda, you are a treasure. Your words are life lessons. Reading them is like reading a devotional book. God has put you on my heart so strongly the last couple of weeks. Know that I am praying for you for peace and sweet dreams – that the Lord will bring His Word, and songs, hymns, and spiritual songs to your mind and soul. Thank you for your example and your courage to trust and share what God is doing in your life. He is using you in a mighty way. You have been such an encouragement to me.

    Psalm 18:31-36
    “For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me Your shield of victory, and Your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.”

  6. Amy Crowder

    Melinda, as several have said before me, your words inspire me to read the Bible more. Thank you for sharing. I’m praying you have a beautiful day. Amy Crowder

  7. Dear Melinda,
    I thank you for sharing your heart and your story. I thank God for sharing……You! I’ve been reminded of just how precious His Word is and just how “irrelevant” so many things in my life are! How I look forward to meeting you!
    Jim Parker (Friend of Jacob & Ashleigh in AZ)

  8. gayle Davis

    Dear Mellnda, You bring tears and abounding joy at the same time. I’m so sorry that your food doesn’t taste the best but love the way you love the word and the Lord! You bless my heart and I thank the Lord for you and what you mean to me! Your blogs are so encouraging and it is exciting to see how God is using you. Melinda , I love you. Gayle

    1

  9. Diane Mattsen

    Oct 30, 2015 Diane Mattsen
    Dear Melinda
    I just read your hunger message and realize how much you are a blessing to others in your strong faith in the Lord….Praying for you m

  10. Dave and Ev Southwell

    Melinda, Your uncle Chip McDaniel sent me this blog. So great reading about your life there. You are a blessing to all you meet, I’m sure. You sure are a blessing to Ev and me. You always seemed to be excited to talk to us when we visited. You made us always feel important. So that’s why I’m sure you are to others. We love and appreciate you and thanks for your encouragement all the time.

  11. Kim Jenerette

    Melinda, we are continually encouraged by your blogs. Thank you for your sheer honesty in your thinking. It is evident that the Lord is sustaining you and, as He was pleased with Job, He is truly pleased with you.

    We love you,

    Uncle Kim and Aunt Lisa

  12. Carol Hoke

    Melinda, I was deeply affected by spending time with you last week. Thank you for who you are and for loving God through this.
    Ps. 119: 74-76 May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word. I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.
    Carol Hoke

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