The All-Seeing Eye

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

J.R.R. Tolkien. The Fellowship of the Ring.

This quote [ actually, just the quote where it starts with “One Ring.” I added more previous quote for effect. ] came to mind yesterday as my neuro ophthalmologist was shining his bright light in my left eye while viewing the nerve with a special prism of sorts. Being a bit obsessed with the movies in high school, scenes can just flash in mind. I still have a problem when wanting to watch the movies, as when I start…I want to watch them ALL. It is the same with BBC’s Anne of Green Gables; or when we were growing up, The Sound of Music on school nights. Mom always told us to get to the Intermission (first VHS ending) and then be done. I can’t remember that ever happening. 🙂

Anyway, as light is shining, I am thinking a few things (maybe the transitional thinking, thus leading to Lord of the Rings. My mind is a mystery.) I had just had the “put the black, flat, one eyed glasses” and read the letter chart on the mirror testing. It was nothing new that I could not read the letters in the right eye–not even the E. Last time, we did the line test and I saw all correctly. Yesterday, I saw just the square, and the color looked blue….only once did I faintly see horizontal lines. Shadows.

My left eye read pretty good. When it got to where the letters merged together, out of focus, I said, “This us where I would use my bifocals.,” Yes, I now say it with confidence. After giving the whole run-down of changes noticed, the assistants said they would inform my doctor and then he came in, commented on my glasses and set to work shining light in my eyes. I tell you about the eye chart differences, because as he shines back and forth in both eyes, I realize that in the right eye, I am not even essentially seeing the light..and it is bright!! As he focuses his time on the left, it is then that images of The Eye of Sauron comes to mind. blog.michaelmichelini.com

Funny thing is, the prism is the opposite–the middle is the light and dark surrounds. None-the-less-, the scene where Gandalf is talking to the little Hobbit, Pippin, as they await at Gondor for the start of the battle for Middle Earth, is what comes to mind too. They are facing Mordor–the darkness and increasing Shadows…Orcs and Evil linger for the call to begin and The Eye flashes like fire in search of The Ring. Might be a bit dramatic for an eye appointment, but considering my eye conditions I guess it was bound to come to mind at some point.

Of course, I never let on that I was thinking this; I had other questions too. I was told my left optic nerve has not increased with swelling and may have come down just a bit…so why the side effects as of late? Sometimes there are no answers. My other concern was my right eye. I told Mom a few weeks ago that my eye felt heavy–different than a tired heavy. It is a heavy that also feels like my eye is full of liquid in the back. I said, “Can your eyes go numb? Because if they can, that is what it feels like,” (in reference to the heaviness.) But my doctor was not concerned of numb eyes. The eye does have some liquid, but the feeling is a result of nerve sensation.

If all stays as it has been, I do not return until February; that is also when I see my main doctor and his team at Children’s. As always, I have to keep watch for major changes or even the little ones that progress over time, but at the moment, this could be the first of holiday seasons since we moved here that I do not have any treatments or appointments. The question if that will remain is in the future and out of my hands. Yesterday was a hard day..today was a good day, the difference like a parallel of my two eyes.  And that is life–one day at a time.

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.

Proverbs 15:3