Yesterday had me feeling like a blob. There’s nothing worse than feeling like a blob–I had entered the room with great defense, but left like a weak and helpless one. Being a blob in your mind will have you wallow in this way. I put my brain on mental stand-by as we made our way to the car and dozed while Mom and Dad made their way in construction and traffic to the nearest Cracker Barrel.
Comfort food, I started to regain composure. I can’t say it was back to Mel, but I was trying, although I just wanted to be home. That was comfort. At home I make tea and start a new book on the library app that I have downloaded on my Nook. A black background and white words. It’s like a photo negative effect and I read the text so clearly.
It reflected my day completely. My inner blob was my defense. Turn the room of people around like viewing from a negative in the light: and see the defense signs from the bleachers, from loved ones in the crowd; those around cheering me on, those around working ideas to keep me going, those around hindering my path that leads to the blob.
The Blob. It’s pain, suffering, confusion, justification, frustration and fear, selfishness and comfort, unfocused purpose. It’s the complete negative (literal meaning) of the Fruit of the Spirit.
The blob in me comes and goes as I embrace the newness of realty: “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow,” Psalm 144:4. It is not easy lowering your defenses..but it is not a weakness either. In living, I am learning this…