During the Fall of my freshman and sophomore years of high school I ran for the cross country team. This also included optional training practices that started at 6:30 am! My sister, Megan, decided to run as well. Being my first sport, I took the summer training practices seriously! I think my momentum actually started in junior high when I would run after school or ride my bike. In the winter time I would go up to the rec room and use the Nordic track. Junior high also had summer marching band practices, camps, mission trips and a whole lot of other activities. By the time the end of my 8th grade came, I had to decide on whether I wanted to do band or a sport. Looking back, I know it was God’s timing to end band and take private flute lessons in order to run cross country.
When I first started running in the summer practices, I was able to meet upper classmen. We would run the city streets or circle the grass at the park. By the time school started, the rest of the team joined us and we did much of the same running, except added more distance and more back roads. We would run up a steep rocky hill and run back down. We did this in repetition-and if that wasn’t enough, we would travel all the way out of town to Rock Creek where we would run straight up the mountain! In all of the practices my coach always emphasized the importance of not stopping to walk-no matter what! I took this to heart and focused on this along with added endurance in the hard training which really helped me during the races.
I’ll never forget my first race, we ate a big spaghetti dinner the night before at my coach’s house. We traveled to our course which was higher in elevation. I didn’t understand how races worked. So when we got there we set off to jog the course for a trial run. By the time we came back, we had a few minutes to put on our numbers, stretch and do a few sprints. At the line, our faster runners were placed at the front. I was in good shape, probably the best shape I had been in my entire life, but my stride wasn’t very long. Often times I was the one toward the end or the last place runner. I think I did well in that race as best as I can remember. As the season went on, we ran a lot of courses- a golf course, a football field and up a rocky mountain. When we hosted a cross country race we had a little combination of them all.
As you can see in looking back it was God’s perfect timing in the events of my life to discover that my ankles turned out when I ran. As I finished the cross country racing season that October (after four years), I also got my braces off my teeth. To celebrate, Mom and I ate Chinese food and then bought some new Christian music CD’s before heading home. Since I was big on music, I had read about Jeremy Camp’s new album, “Stay”. His late wife had battled cancer. Little would I realize that one month later in November 2002 I would be diagnosed with the NF2 disease. It was that album that I played over and over to comfort my heart. In December 2002, I had my first back surgery to remove a large spinal tumor. Thankfully, I was able to walk and travel home on Christmas Eve. That Christmas was different, but very special for me and my family.
You see, I bring this up because as I have said before in another post, I knew this Christmas would be different too. I didn’t know how “different” or how my body would change. I don’t’ think there is any point in describing what has gone wrong and how things have changed from head to toe on me. The weekend before Christmas, I had some intense talks with my mom and dad. I told them that I knew things would get worse with my health, but that I was at peace with it all. It only made me sad to know-that I wouldn’t have much more time with my family and friends. It was very hard emotionally. Mom, Dad and Marcia came to see me after the Christmas Eve service. We sang Christmas carols together. I couldn’t see any decorated trees or brightly lit Christmas lights, but I knew that I was with my family having really special memories. A week later, on New Years Day, I didn’t make new year resolutions. But I thought about cross-country and I applied it to my life. Like the races, I know there is a finish line. However, I don’t know when I’ll cross the finish line. There is a tough point in every race when you really just want to stop and give up running. The big cheers at the start of the race have faded and now you are running alone. But then you start hearing faint cheers ahead and that keeps you going forward to the finish line. I’ve decided that my focus should be to strain on and cross the finish line. As I think of my life “race”, I’m overwhelmed, by everyone who runs the race along side of me—cheering me on and upholding me with their prayers. As this new year continues, I will take it one day at a time-not stopping, knowing that Jesus cheers me on too!
Jeremy Camps “I Still Believe” Song Lyrics
“I Still Believe”
Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I’ve never felt so torn before
seems I don’t know where to start
But it’s now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain
I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
even when I don’t see, I still believe
Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It’s my heart I see you prepare
But it’s now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain
I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
even when I don’t see, I still believe
The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
In brokenness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know you are near
I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
even when I don’t see, I still believe
My Life with NF2 